do not drink this cleaning fluid, now's not a good time to say that my refrigerator door rebelled i wanna be a unicorn so bad don't knock this idea now my take on gender dysphoria what happens to me around attractive women "i just wanna tame that bitch" SPOTTED grey hairs i am so ghetto about tcb valium. valiant. hahaha man, i wish she were a better person (a common thought) my attitude around trad women this world is too modern for me this is a lot like what we did before

this might be the last video
committing suicide virally, but of course!
you can film yourself doing everything else useless
didn't mean to sound so dramatic, sorry
multi-tasker on the road, why the fuck not
fuck yer devices bitch
always veering to the right nowadays
always seeing shit on my face, there is coffee on my teeth!!!
4:20 is a good time to call meh
been smoking a lotta pahpahpahpahPOT
i used to suck at rolling doobies, pretty good at it now
don't blame the seasons, amay
we eradicated the drinking problem by getting sober
smoking js fantasizing bout nicotine
marijuana: keys to the zoo
reptilian dysphoria, anything's possible now
why can't we stay center
this is an interesting experiment, nonetheless
my mind shakes so the camera shakes
some hair-brained way to rationalize shitty camera work
i'd make good movies outta this shit
thought i was gonna go places, nope
zebras! elephants all fuckin day!!!!!!
ANIMALS DON'T WANT TO BE POLITICAL!!!
animal kingdom vs. political realm
soooooo sick of political shit
got some greenery in this scenery
what a likely story...shitty-ass driving (not me this time, the man inside my head has taken the wheel)
did ya like my dumbass green light song
and that was a big-ass truck
food stamps helped me do nothing but binge-drink
no hand-outs, please and spank you
i resent these "mental health" suggestions
technology or an ailment
it's hard to believe that these side effects generate this level of perceived joy
oh my shoezzz!
yes i wear my slippies everywhere (unless it is raining or snowing) but esp when i drive
christmas came early...late september to mid-february
what the cold weather represents to me
if you're lucky enough to have a joint...
the climate changes, man!
you can't put the ocean in a paper cup, true dat
open-minded and yet, naturally trad
my bunny slippers made in china
miller high life hat vs. pantry hat
understanding oneself is all we can really do
"go talk to somebody"
i've spoken to enough therapists folks, they dunno shit
the vortex believed in me, j/k
shout-out to THAT WORD and AARON CARSON
tv is for suckers, if it ain't art, i ain't interested
what IS art, my pretentious ass..i ain't sellin shit
i DO love this job
hopefully staying pregnant and not baby elimination
did i mention i do satire?

my house vs. the world
evidence that i am a crazy person everywhere
yes, i almost hit a man, shooting this video
bad driver (vagina)
boatloads of self-awareness, none of which help my physical appearance
the why and the how...
thinkin a lot about my "jokes"
no, that's not how a gun fires
no gun registration in tn (or at walmarts everywhere)
contemplating church billboards again (welcome to the south!)
pony rides at church?
the dark side of Christianity, these motherfuckers are gluttonous about every damn thing
cigarettes are glorious cos they don't solve problems
my overworking brain makes me wanna sleep
at least when i (physically) masturbate i get off (unless i pass out 1st)
the evil corporate conglomerate aka walmart
buying a heater so that i don't have an outrageous electric bill
if it's funny, it's funny
shout out to jenny kunzweiler (where are you???)
the internet would be so good if...
i always use the word infiltrate wrong
i do this NOT on acid
i expected to be tintilated reading the communist manifesto. negative
everything is a show, babies
tv controls the world
dino smokes weed
shout-out to renard hirsch
love em to death, these people
believe me this is bi-partisan
elephants in politics?
you must be a fascist supporting the donald
gotta laugh at the robots
didn't leave my turmeric at the crib, thank GOD
the less time in the walmart the better it is for me
laughter is money at this point
turmeric hand
renard ain't that screechy, i'm sorry
here, i spill the beans
yes, i'm attracted to black dudes (my brother finds this problematic)
people that have to be the main actor of the show
i ain't the understudy, i'm the note-taker in the audience
how invalidating is it when...
the quietest person is the funniest and the sickest
dino will make sure that nobody steals my boom box, cigarillo wrappers, and nasty-ass work shoes

None

MAGA in the kitchen part1
i support donald because i'm not supposed to
not a vegan
cagefree eggs really don't matter
the food chain cancels out the necessity to be a vegetarian/vegan
kill animal abusers, not kidding
i don't expect you to stay
byebye nanna (really???)
dwindling attention span thanks to drugs and technology
oppression at starbucks
HJWPCPPPCA (hokey wokey jokey pc policing pandering pansie candy asses)
i still voted for obama, even tho i found his healthcare policy unconstitutional
i blow kisses to the donald
were jenkos ever awesome?
i explain the disgusting culture of hashtags
crying about my dead tomagatchi
yes, i buy clothes with holes in them
i'm getting a gun for a reason (and you should too)
nobody knows what a nazi is
satire is way more fun than living in reality
creating the dream as i go along (still horrific and lonely, but at least i have God)
values stay the same
with good reason people cut me outta their life
i know i need to bathe
life with a mental illness...is fun!!!
sometimes i retract this statement about donald
take this handout and you will shine
12 steps for recovering fiberals
the small big book + 12 traditions
do i really seem co-dependent to yawl?
practicing the 12 step principles now that i don't go to meetings anymore
the problem with 12 steppers (groupthink)
who knew a hat could be so offensive?
born on thanksgiving day, yet pro-abortion pretty much my whole life
shout-out to john turturro
suck my non-existenct cock (yea, yea)
am i just really excited about these chimichangas?
i promise, i'm a changed man
we all know it wasn't shug
shitty rapper friends
black on the inside, yawl. get the fuck over it
turn it british, it will make it amusing
you're no that important, dipshits
conservative due to my restaurant experience
i apologize to the Lord when i don't mean blasphemy

3rd video today
that's racist to ask an asian to do the math
this is always an issue every time i go out to eat
we took another risk without dying, yay!
money is the greatest example of entitlement
"now i buy beer" just kidding
conservatives tip way better than liberals
so what if i can't do math, i know how the world works

boys & girls or whatever you call yourselves now
red curry, my interesting life decisions
driving without insurance, no seatbelt, and i'm high (but i just left the library)
you can make up whatever you wanna believe, everyone else does
even cops won't ask questions
keep the constitution sign keeps me outta trouble
there are good cops, lawyers, doctors...
there's a reason i never monetized this (as if i could maintain subscribers)
this floral shop up the street from me is way funnier than standup comedy right now
those bangkok rolls made me puke btw
women can't drive, this is blatantly obvious
be honest esp if you have drugs
race or...race
everybody in the democratic party is a terrible actor/liar
that richard spencer...he's "all right"
CONTEXT CONTEXT CONTEXT CONTEXT CONTEXT
the glory of insta!SPAM
a leftist is way worse than being a lunatic
what a shitty way to look at the world
george soros looks more like a tree every passing day (courtesy of eugenics!)
why are you even whining, you stupid cunt
my life is very good
the victim mentality is now the whiner's mentality. these people are not victims
ideals: read an entire book
beta o'rourke, ballsack tucked between his legs
fiberals need to stop worrying about being pc
i love big poodles (and insects)
bugs are our friends
go fuck yourself, fatass
hot chick alert (hope she ain't a feminist)

these are my home movies
at least i don't live in the middle east
at least i don't go all over the "news"
me vs. everybody else
trust the process of dog shit
fuck neighbors, just kidding. they're alright
i don't need more opportunities to showcase my awkwardness
information age and everyone's full a shit
so weird to be shooting in the daylight
don't chawl miss the battery-operated lantern
"let's donate more taxpayer $ to the giant govt furnace" denier, get that shit right
i'm a real sweetheart no matter what they say on social media
sacrifices require being inconvenienced
let's pass this bill, but what's this bill?
what's the library?
being a creative person is awesome
a lotta people choose to be on the poverty level
(clarification: after doing my taxes, i discovered that i am actually NOT on the poverty level. YAY! but i am in the lower middle class, fine with me)
"news" will always be in quotations
TDS must be very draining
annoyed pretty much all the time
thanks fiberals for inspiring me to trust God more!
all these curries sound exactly the same (coconut milk plus various vegetables)
why did i star ALL of these?
i don't fuck with fast food considering all of the drive-thrus where i have worked
better read all the books before they burn this motherfucker down
coincidence? no comment.
folleywood is nothing but robots
my real feelings on kanye
control, ego, just order some curry
why does anybody trust anybody???
polifact don't weigh in context or sarcasm
words are now vapor
fuck vaping. i can help anyone quit smoking.
dems/repub. workin for the same pieces of garbage
SMIRNOFF: have fun goin to jail!
DJs love to yell, ya just lost me
NPR can't catch up with me
obamacare was unconstitutional
"everybody knows this but they act like they don't"
thank you but no thank you jack dorsey
I HATE THIS WORLD!!!!
makin $ so i can spend $ on (GOOD) food
even if ya don't agree with me...
i know you're all about the free shit
if you can't handle honesty you're just a moron
what a way to end it, bitch

a bathroom smells like shit...what???
how to properly drop fries into a fryer
this is life in the fast food world
good ole fashioned #1
it's always plausible that i might smell like shit
i blame my abandonment issues
dysfunctional fambly on drugs
i am the only person in the world to miss a shitty job

paisley says hi. that's arlo staring at cha.
of all the things to steal from my house? scissors. chic filet sauce.
get yer tail outta the way, so selfish!
boycotted netflix (fo real)
i only watch informational videos now
my organizational skills (that don't even work)
abraham lincoln meets dahli
great intentions...still a liberal at heart
drinking superfood (due to my anorexia)
karen carpenter prevention
i love the smell of freshly cut grass
fun to make noises (do it all the time)
i found this pair of elephant scissors in my neighbors backyard
i used to be obsessed with changing my name
jade/candy/sexy lexy
one of the many problems with america: identity crisis
lucky as fuck to drink clean water
rejecting food, emotions say: no
gotta eat this pot butter, not wasting $20
ever had food in a tupperwear container for weeks (everyone with some $ can relate to this)
styrofoam, courtesy of monsanto
really crazy people collect dogs
women that rescue dogs need to be rescued themselves
fuck ton of hankies
if you ain't making fun of these twatbotz you are missing out
the original #metoo movement
hey isis, take out all of los angelas
JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE JOKE
technically still on mywaste
patreon can pretend to support artists
yep, i just put pot butter on a jalapeno kettle chip (do not recommend, btw)
libertyjunkies.com
missing out on my constitutional rights cos i lack a firearm
my cats are growling over some pot butter on the floor
my asshole feels nothing now
i just ate enough pot butter to freak myself out
this is the first time i have wrapped my gifts in sumin other than aluminum foil
terrible at cutting pieces of paper
yes, i used to love RENT
this couch was bought at the goodwill
that's the sound of a terrible wrapping job
so many people need our help ONLINE!
constantly in a state of failure
one present down
the only thing missing from marijuana is the shine appeal
every american citizen can relate to how annoying scotch tape is (no matter how inventive)
of all the problems in the world...
i would be wasted if i still drank
$18 an hr to work over xmas
UPDATE: my fren jenny kunzweiler did like these gifts a lot

now i have emphysema it sounds like
conspiracies. Journey. oh yea and masturbating.
this feels like the twenties
the truth about shit talk
the aimless does not have conventional opinions
nothing i say ever sounds pretty
just saying this shit out loud...different levels of funny
ode to louis ck (one of my personal heroes)
how are you a victim when it's consensual
i don't watch movies anymore
let's put this in another scenario
thank you Lord for this analogy!
these angles are funny tho
victim-blaming/shaming/disclaiming all night
they're not children, they're acting like children
yes this shit makes me so friggin mad
women are trying to obliterate the constitution
ya gotta keep these campaign promises
when yer white...context don't matter
if it's a human thing it freaks people out
sexual predators don't ask
fine i'll switch lanes you piece a shit
why does she have a lantern???
you have a responsibility to yourself to tell the truth
chicago: where human nature supercedes
gun control/rape control: ineffective
feminism is so fucking dumb
by female comic i just mean FEMALE
i woulda said sumin, coz i always do (WHOAAAAAAAA!)
no matter what they say on their twitter feed...
joking or not joking???
oh if these women just worked in food service
this long list of "offenders" that i keep defending
MY BODY MY CHOICE but they don't believe in choice, yawl
what is the point in taking bill cosby's old ass to prison?
i can take myself out of unfortunate situations becuz i am not a typical woman!
appreciate cha (whatever the reason)