Annabel Lee

Annabel Lee

Welcome to my Bitchute channel! I'm really looking forward to uploading here, with a slightly different focus. After ten years of no contact, I've had many great opportunities to learn and grow in my recovery, and life is pretty good right now. On this channel, I'll focus on life after no contact, how to avoid getting stuck in that righteous anger, and how to move away from focusing on the narcissist and the abuse and move toward building your life, free of toxic relationships.

A few topics that I plan to cover soon are (1) the prevention of repeating old patterns; (2) growing in areas of your own life, separate from your life with your abusers; (3) navigating a new romantic relationship; (4) becoming an empty nester!

After the past 2 years, it honestly feels great to post to a small following, just like I did when I first started out on YouTube before my channel grew and the crazies sniffed me out. I hope you enjoy the content here.

Are narcissists human? It depends on how you define humanity.

A commenter recommended this episode of Twilight Zone. This is a small clip, but my goodness. Pretty on point. Thank you, Yu T! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntfYJGf4cq8&feature=youtu.be

If you'd like to see the YouTube trolling for yourself, some of it is documented here http://www.nogaslighting.com/ and here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDSTYwJ0k-zsMdAw0qorjVg?view_as=subscriber

"Do not just slay your demons. Dissect them and find what they've been feeding on." ~ Andres Fernandez

Lisa A. Romano is a life coach whose videos helped me a lot early on with codependency. She also provides life coaching for narcissistic abuse survivors. This is a link to her YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/lisaaromano1

"Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon or fraud syndrome or the imposter experience) is a concept describing high-achieving individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud." -- Wikipedia

This is a great TedTalk about imposter syndrome. She discusses early life abuse as a primary cause. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whyUPLJZljE

http://www.nogaslighting.com/

Even more painful than the betrayal of the narcissist is the unexpected betrayal of people we trusted who align themselves with the narcissist. Many make excuses for flying monkeys. Many people feel compassion and try to understand the actions of the flying monkeys. I am not one of those people. Although I don't believe that children are responsible for being manipulated by a narcissist, I do believe that adults are 100% responsible for their own actions. Flying monkeys who stand by silently while you're being smeared, targeted, and abused are bad enough, but those who join in are no better than the narcissist and are likely incredibly toxic themselves. Healthy people who see another treating someone badly are not naturally inclined to join in on the abusive behavior; however, abusive people are naturally inclined to join in on the abusive behavior, until the narc turns on them, which always happens. Flying monkeys often come back looking for "forgiveness" when the narcissist turns on them. This is not genuine remorse. This is self-serving damage control. I encourage you to think long and hard before letting any of these people back into your life. The narcissist may have influenced these people, but absent physical force or threat, flying monkeys cannot be forced to take part in toxic behavior. They choose to. Let them live with their choices.

http://www.nogaslighting.com/

Toxic people don't live in the realm of reality because the reality of their behavior is pretty crappy, which could lead them to crappy consequences. Therefore, they invest a great deal of energy creating distraction from truth. There are many tactics that they use--gaslighting, projection, smearing--but it all comes down to their penchant for chaos. Narcissists create chaos for a very simple reason--to distract you and outside observers from the very simple truth of their abusive behavior. Recognizing this behavior for what it is--manufactured distraction--has been an important step for me in recovering from narcissistic abuse and protecting myself from the narcissist's / sociopath's aggression.

http://www.nogaslighting.com/

Bugs Bunny and Taz are Warner Bros. characters.

Thumbnail source: https://quotesblog.net/stay-calm-within-the-chaos-quote/

Even more painful than the betrayal of the narcissist is the unexpected betrayal of people we trusted who align themselves with the narcissist. Many make excuses for flying monkeys. Many people feel compassion and try to understand the actions of the flying monkeys. I am not one of those people. Although I don't believe that children are responsible for being manipulated by a narcissist, I do believe that adults are 100% responsible for their own actions. Flying monkeys who stand by silently while you're being smeared, targeted, and abused are bad enough, but those who join in are no better than the narcissist and are likely incredibly toxic themselves. Healthy people who see another treating someone badly are not naturally inclined to join in on the abusive behavior; however, abusive people are naturally inclined to join in on the abusive behavior, until the narc turns on them, which always happens. Flying monkeys often come back looking for "forgiveness" when the narcissist turns on them. This is not genuine remorse. This is self-serving damage control. I encourage you to think long and hard before letting any of these people back into your life. The narcissist may have influenced these people, but absent physical force or threat, flying monkeys cannot be forced to take part in toxic behavior. They choose to. Let them live with their choices.

http://www.nogaslighting.com/

"Love yourself first and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."~Lucille Ball

Pete Walker's site http://pete-walker.com/fAQsComplexPTSD.html

http://www.nogaslighting.com/

“The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Narcissistic abuse is based largely on the element of surprise. The narcissist will leave you when you need support more than ever (illness, job loss, death in the family). The narcissist will tell you that they would never divorce you the same day they've hired a divorce lawyer. The narcissist will tell you that they have no interest in custody of your children while they're building a custody case against you. As a result, the discard is disorienting because it is so shocking. When we are disoriented in this way, our ability to fight for ourselves and our children is compromised. It is crucial that we move from a place of victim to a place of confidence and strategy. Once you realize the narcissist's many weaknesses, you will begin to notice a shift in outcomes.

Perhaps the greatest weakness of the narcissist is their lack of emotional intelligence. They are emotionally stunted, operating at the emotional level of toddlers. Toddlers aren't patient. Adults are. I've learned over time that patience has been one of my greatest allies against the narcissist. This video shares just one small aspect of that discovery.

Thumbnail image: Screaming Lady | Roy Lichtenstein

Going no contact is such a monumental decision. It's terrifying. It results in major life changes. For those reasons, many of us feel that when we finally go no contact, "it's over." However, I have found that this is not the case. Going no contact IS the end of your interaction in a toxic relationship dynamic. However, it is only the beginning of your new life after the narcissist. It's difficult. It's frustrating. It's painful. BUT IT'S WORTH IT. Please, please, please don't give up. Stick with it. You WILL see improvement in your life!

I used to believe that narcissists don't go to therapy because they aren't capable of self-reflection, right? Well, I was wrong. Some narcissists do go to therapy. Some narcissistic parents actually take their scapegoated children to therapy. However, their reasons are very different than ours.

Thumbnail: Good Will Hunting 1997
Production Companies
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Looking back I realize that for most of my life, I waited for someone or something to come into my life to change my life. I didn't feel capable of saving myself, so I waited for external circumstances/people to come in and save me. Only after realizing that was never going to happen and taking ownership of my own recovery did my life begin to change for the better. No one is going to save you. You have to save yourself. And you have to work at it. So let's get to work!

"Why don't you just get over it?" Because we are still dealing with physiological and psychological effects of abuse. That's why! Public speaking is my Achilles' heel. What's yours?

Links to Battle Hymn of the Empath's videos regarding supplements that help to manage C-PTSD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1oyeCPXKUk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C11_7HPwBNg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skqtwtcD6WU

Narcissists and psychopaths thrive on confusion. Their manipulative tactics are meant to create cognitive dissonance--a sense of internal confusion that suspends our rational thought. I realized recently that I have allowed myself to be diverted from abusive behavior by fixating on the "Why." In reality, it doesn't matter WHY the narcissist does what he/she does. If your intuition is telling you that something is off, leave. Don't stick around to be proven right and get more hurt in the process.

Many of us don't understand why we can't stop thinking about the abuser, despite all that has happened, and even with the knowledge and understanding that this person is harmful to us. Many of us become trauma bonded to our abuser and experience intrusive thoughts, especially during the first year of no contact. This is both confusing and frustrating. Here are some thoughts on what we can do to understand intrusive thoughts and also to redirect our thoughts when we begin to think about the narcissist and all that has happened.

Thumbnail: Stewardship for Life http://www.stewardshipoflife.org/2013/04/a-stewards-psalm-for-all-seasons-and-reasons/

What does it really mean when the narcissist tells us "I love you"?

Thumbnail: http://www.freeimages.com/premium/i-love-my-shoes-2115378

We've all been there: we meet the narcissist; we fall in love with the person presented to us. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, an entirely different person emerges, usually just after we have begun to feel emotionally attached to the narcissist. Cognitive dissonance is created by the disconnect we begin to witness between the narcissist's portrayed self and the narcissist's true self, which begins to surface in subtle ways early in the relationship. We need to think about changing the way we approach this confusion.

When you're divorcing/ending a relationship with a narcissist, you are involved in a game of the narc's making. The narc doesn't clue you in to the rules of his/her game. However, there are steps that you can take to protect yourself. Your method of communication is one of those steps.

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Created 1 year, 3 months ago.

37 videos

CategoryPeople & Family

Welcome to my Bitchute channel! I'm really looking forward to uploading here, with a slightly different focus. After ten years of no contact, I've had many great opportunities to learn and grow in my recovery, and life is pretty good right now. On this channel, I'll focus on life after no contact, how to avoid getting stuck in that righteous anger, and how to move away from focusing on the narcissist and the abuse and move toward building your life, free of toxic relationships.

A few topics that I plan to cover soon are (1) the prevention of repeating old patterns; (2) growing in areas of your own life, separate from your life with your abusers; (3) navigating a new romantic relationship; (4) becoming an empty nester!

Why am I now only uploading to Bitchute? I posted a blog to my No Gaslighting site in which I do my best to explain. http://nogaslighting.com/view/blog/41

After the past 2 years, it honestly feels great to post to a small following, just like I did when I first started out on YouTube before my channel grew and the YouTube crazies sniffed me out. I hope you enjoy the content here.