Gehenna has been averted, vengeance has been served, the foundations of power shaken and the creatures of the night retreat into their havens to plan for the times to come.
We on the other hand leave both this wonderful game and with it my established recording format behind and for a change do something you should never try with your significant other:
Tell her how awesome she is by listing everything wrong with her.
That might fall well within the boundaries of "The path to hell is paved with good intentions."
"Soul Police Chapter's Reverse Side Circumstance" by Yasushi Ishii from the Hellsing Soundtrack
All good things come to an end and with the finale to our munching madwoman's adventure comes the end of my old format of videos.
And befitting to a vampire with a vengeance, little Csilla munches herself through a little army of anachronistic pseudo-ninja, some SWAT-types and what has to be one of the literally biggest letdowns of a final boss fights in recent memory.
But first, let's deal with the dev team's sudden urge to put environmental puzzles in the last 30 minutes of their game.
Deus Ex-clip by Polish youtuber robikz.
Because I couldn't find an English clip of that scene on short notice.
Let's welcome reboot Csilla (no, she got nothing to do with the show) to the debut in her short, yet very action-heavy existence.
Armed to the teeth and offered plenty of deserving targets, she does what comes naturally in such a situation...
Running away in circles from something that could simply smack the life out of her.
NOTE: Reupload due to the original being perpetually stuck at 360p for reasons unknown.
I know I said this would be the last episode but then I realized I had forgotten how much there was still to do. So instead we're going to chat up some old acquaintances, make our choice for the ending of Csilla's journey and then stop right before we get to one of the final bossfights.
I swear, I'm not cockteasing you guys.
Equally rested and roasted, I return from my vacation with my judgement of the stealth-game "Styx: Master of Shadows".
And while the game threw me for a twist there, my opinion of it will likely surprise no one.
But give it a listen, nontheless, so you know exactly 'why' I fell in love with a walking, talking cucumber.
After all the zombies, snuff-films and flesh-abominations Csilla needs a shot of normalcy. Even a vampire needs to ground herself from time to time.
Unfortunately, we're in Hollywood, so we have to settle for the local night and strip clubs.
And although the owner of the one wants to kill himself while the owner of the other wants us to kill somebody else, we can't combine the two quests, sadly.
The Muppet Show
Yup, you're seeing this right. We've officially reached the final episode of Styx: Master of Shadows and I'm just as flabbergasted as you are.
I can however tell you that what little was left of the story really will leave an impact and even I didn't call the final twist.
So sit down, relax and wonder to yourselves: Who will survive? Styx? The other Styx? Both Styxes? No Styxes? All of the above? And is "Styxes" actually the correct plural of "Styx"?
And yes, I did unironically use the word "flabbergasted", go sue me.
As a clear sign of the game steadily coming to a close, we'll...procure the last of the relics in what undoubtedly is the pinnacle of "I have no idea what I'm doing" while simultaneously having still not a clue why we're collecting them.
Also, we have to steal the key to an artificial uterus from a pirate who's commanding an army of knights protecting a sludge-factory.
You wish I'd be making this up.
Abbott & Costello
A girl needs to make a living, even an undead one.
With the job market being what it is and prostitution (mostly) out of the question - we just dealt with some plague bringers a few nights ago, no need to become one ourselves - Csilla takes a job in pest control.
And while the pests we take on are a bit above the average exterminator's pay grade, the basement of the Hallowbrook Hotel is in a particularly decrepit state...
As the title suggests, we do find Querberus rather quickly however he's not in the best of...conditions.
Little matter though, as we learn another important detail to Styx's plan - which, by knowing, we also share with him.
We really need to work on this whole "intelligence"-business a bit.
And thus, ye poor sinners, ye fair lady Csilla, didst descent into the caves of the false god's prophet, verily she did. And whilst she did smite there her adversaries most righteously, driven on be these voices holy which so rested in her head, she didst find an old acquaintance, he, who was named for his fate without ye fair lady Csilla in his life.
And ye fair lady Csilla spoke, turning him into he who was twice-touched and twice-freed, and ye fair lady ascended into even higher realms of enlightenment, where surely she would have remained, were it not f-
Okay, enough of this. We kill a German guy, free Ash and another German guy and have to accept the fact we're at 10 humanity now. Moving on.
"Gimme the Prize" by Queen
...I mean, did you know they expect you to not stab people? I know, right? Makes you wonder how they ever get anything done that way.
Ah well, we do want to see Styx punished and we are kinda on the clock here, so let's roll with the program.
Clearly we are entering the end times. Whereas the true believer used to be rewarded with eternal imprisonment while watching over a glorified big gulp or carrying around a massive chest that could kill all the bandits it will inevitably attract in the first place, nowadays you might just all get murdered by an undead crazy chick because she really wants a book your colleague left laying around in the corner.
You know...hypothetically speaking.
Another major twists expects us in this episode of Styx but this time...the twist hits on the other side of the stream.
That's right, people, this time yours truly sets himself up for a massive karmic bitchslap that couldn't be any more amazing if I opened things up with the words "What could possibly go wrong?".
Continuing our path back to our hideout, we cross what looks like yet another excessively guarded sewage system while being plagued by one of life's biggest philosophical questions:
Who and where is Owain?
Alright, maybe not quite "Our place in the universe"-big but certainly enough to make us run in circles. Literally.
We also learn a bit more about the glow bugs. Which I'm sure is worth something. To someone.
Finally moving on with our main story line, we move from Little China to the closest thing we'll get to Little Italy in this game in the form of an exclusive family gathering.
And like all family gatherings, we prefer this one as far removed from all human(oid) contact as possible.
Journeying on we get some glimpses into Styx's life and the company he keeps. We also meet an old friend of ours...
...namely the amnesia-plagued protagonist.
Getting further into the meat of things, we start of nice and slow, nothing to fancy, just a bit of up and down, back and forth, the occasional thrusting but nothing too out of the ordinary yet.
You know, the basic things when you get to know someone.
On another issue, isn't it fantastic what can be construed as a euphemism if your audience is just perverted enough?
With my belly-achingly weak performance on stealth-tasks in my other playthroughs, what better choice could I have made than picking up an explicit stealth-title?
So let's follow Styx, a stealthy, sneaky goblin, who tries to do...something.
First order of business: Listening to overly long cutscenes, followed by a flashback-tutorial.
This episode we continue down two ongoing quests, one of which we intend to finish by cutting (or more accurately shooting) off the figurative head of the snake.
Speaking of heads, the lack of one (either figuratively or literally) seems to be tonight's theme and I want to make sure you understand that I had nothing to do with that, my moniker notwithstanding.
Star Trek: The Next Generation
"Thriller" by Michael Jackson
Alright, last time we spend on the sidequest-lane, I promise.
Just two more break-ins, a bit of hacking and some checking of emails and we'll be up and ready to take on the Giovanni.
Well, that and there's this Gargoyle...
We continue our Tour de Backtrack by crossing both the still rather aptly named incinerator and the library, which sadly lost a bit of its charm due to a dozen guards suddenly trampling around in it.
Well, as a German I have a historic responsibility to prevent book burnings early on and this looks very suspicious to me.
Created 9 months, 3 weeks ago.
Welcome to my channel. So far you'll mainly find English playthroughs here but other (mainly gaming-related) content is planned.
Have a seat and enjoy and/or curse at games along with me.
Feedback's always welcome. Good, bad, doesn't matter, only thing relevant is that it's more elaborate than "It's great" or "It's shit"