Englishman's Miscellany

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Major-General Clive Wynne-Candy is a senior commander in the Home Guard during the Second World War. Before a training exercise, he is "captured" in a Turkish bath by soldiers led by Lieutenant "Spud" Wilson, who has struck pre-emptively. He ignores Candy's outraged protests that "War starts at midnight!" They scuffle and fall into a bathing pool.

An extended flashback ensues ....

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Black Narcissus | UK 1947 | POWELL AND PRESSBURGER
A mission of Anglican nuns from the Order of St. Faith's is invited by the Rajput ruler of a princely state to set up a school and hospital in the dilapidated seraglio where his father's harem was based, high on a cliff in the Himalayas. An order of monks has already tried unsuccessfully to establish themselves there, and the General's agent Mr. Dean makes the social and environmental difficulties plain. The ambitious Sister Clodagh is appointed Sister Superior and sent with five nuns; Sister Philippa for the garden, Sister Briony for the infirmary; Sister Blanche, better known as "Sister Honey" to teach lacemaking, and the unwell Sister Ruth for general classes. Mr. Dean is unimpressed, and gives them until the beginning of the monsoon before they leave.

During their time setting up the convent, the nuns face troubles with the old building and with the local Hindu population, often clashing with the building's old caretaker Angu Ayah. Among these is a holy man in their grounds, the General's uncle, who spends all his time staring into the mountains. They also take in a local girl called Kanchi to try and control her erratic spirit; and the General's current heir—referred to as the Young General—for classes to understand Western culture prior to a trip to Britain. Kanchi is whipped by Ayah for stealing, but the Young General stops her and ends up falling for Kanchi in a situation compared by Mr. Dean to the tale of The King and the Beggar-maid.

Each member also has troubles of their own caused by their surroundings, which seem to magnify their emotions. Briony suffers from ill health, and Philippa loses herself in the environment and ends up planting the vegetable garden with flowers. Ruth, already highly strung, becomes increasingly jealous of Clodagh and obsesses with Mr. Dean, leading her to renounce the order. Clodagh remembers a failed romance from her home in Ireland which prompted her to join the Order. Honey's growing attachment to the children ends in disaster when she gives medicine to a fatally-ill baby. Its death angers the locals, who blame and abandon the mission, and puts further strain on the nuns. Mr. Dean unsuccessfully tries to persuade Clodagh to leave before anything else happens.

One night, Clodagh confronts the now-unstable Ruth, finding her in a modern dress she ordered to impress Mr. Dean. Ruth escapes Clodagh's watch and finds Mr. Dean. When he refuses her advances, she has a complete mental breakdown and goes back to the mission, intent on killing Clodagh. When Clodagh is ringing the bell for morning service located on a cliff edge, Ruth attempts to push her over the edge. In the resulting struggle, Ruth falls off the cliff to her death. The mission leaves just as the monsoon begins, with Clodagh's final request to Mr. Dean being to tend Ruth's grave.

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The story follows a London gangster, the eponymous Jack Carter , who travels back to his home town to discover more about his brother Frank's supposedly accidental death. Suspecting foul play, and with vengeance on his mind, he investigates and interrogates, regaining a feel for the city and its hardened-criminal element.

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Two Welsh coal miners from (fictional) Hafoduwchbenceubwllymarchogcoch, David 'Dai Number 9' Jones and Thomas 'Twm' Jones , win a contest run by the Echo newspaper. The prize is £100 each, plus the best seats for an important rugby union match between England and Wales at Twickenham. For the naive Welshmen, this is their first trip to England.

They are supposed to be met at Paddington station by Whimple , a gardening columnist on the paper, but nobody told them. Then the two miners become separated when Dai is picked up by attractive con artist Jo after she overhears them talking about the prize money. At Jo's suggestion, she and Dai go to the newspaper to collect the money. The editor makes Whimple responsible for showing Dai around, but Jo soon manages to lose him. Whimple hears about Jo's criminal methods from a fellow reporter and runs out in search of them. As they spend time together, Dai begins to fall in love with Jo, though he already has a girlfriend back in Wales: Bronwen, the boss's secretary.

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In May 1940, a civilian in England, newspaper reporter Charles Foreman, fails to rouse his complacent readers on the home front, lulled by the lack of significant fighting during the "Phoney War". His acquaintance, John Holden, owns a small factory manufacturing buckles and is quite pleased with his profits from the Phoney War.

The Battle of France begins, when the Germans invade and rapidly advance, threatening to trap much of the Allied forces in a pocket in northern France and overwhelm them. British Army Corporal "Tubby" Binns, his platoon leader Lieutenant Lumpkin and a depleted section return to camp after blowing up a bridge, only to discover that their company has pulled out during the night, leaving them alone. One man and a lorry have been left for them, but the driver and Lumpkin are killed by a German air attack, leaving Tubby in charge of a five-man squad with no idea what the situation is or where to go. It is up to him to keep his increasingly demoralised men on the move. They reach a Royal Artillery battery camp, where they lose Private Frazer while repelling a German column. They are then ordered to head north with two other stragglers to try to link up with the rest of the British Expeditionary Force (BEF). The party spends the night in a farmhouse, but at dawn a German patrol breaks in and Private Dave Bellman is shot badly in the chest, eventually forcing Tubby to leave him behind, as it is Bellman's only chance of receiving medical attention. Plunkett suffers the effects of a concussion from a grenade. Eventually, they encounter a Royal Air Force lorry and get a lift to Dunkirk. They join the rest of the BEF and tens of thousands of French soldiers who are hoping to be evacuated to England ....

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Jean Rice, a young London art teacher, travels to a seaside resort (not specified but partly filmed in Morecambe) to visit her family. She is emotionally confused, having had a row with her fiancé, who wants her to emigrate with him to Africa. She also is deeply concerned about the Suez Crisis, having seen her soldier brother go to the war. She has attended a peace rally in Trafalgar Square, directed against prime minister Anthony Eden.

She finds that the resort has declined from its pre-Second World War heyday and is now drawing waning crowds, despite being in mid-season. The music-hall act of her father Archie Rice (Olivier) plays out to a small number of increasingly uninterested spectators. Her family is deeply dysfunctional. Her beloved grandfather, once one of the leading stars of the music hall, lives in quiet retirement with his daughter-in-law and grandson.

Jean goes to the theatre where her father is playing. As well as being an undischarged bankrupt and a semi-alcoholic, he is desperately short of money and is hounded by creditors – the income-tax people as well as his unpaid cast. He is adored by his cynical son and watched with mild amusement by his father; but his relationship with Phoebe, his second wife, is strained. He is a womaniser, and she is well aware of his tendencies, openly commenting on them to the rest of the family. She is often found drinking heavily.

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An English bon-vivant osteopath is enchanted with a young exotic dancer and invites her to live with him. He serves as friend and mentor, and through his wide range of contacts and his parties she and her friend meet and date members of the Conservative Party. A scandal develops when her affair with the Minister of War comes to public attention.

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In August 1917, Rosy Ryan, only daughter of the local publican, widower Tom Ryan, is bored with life in Kirrary, an isolated village on the Dingle Peninsula in County Kerry, Ireland. The villagers are nationalists, taunting British soldiers from a nearby army camp. Tom Ryan publicly supports the recently suppressed Easter Rising, but secretly serves the British as an informer.

Rosy falls in love with the village schoolmaster, widower Charles Shaughnessy. She imagines, though he tries to convince her otherwise, that he will somehow add excitement to her life. They marry and settle in the schoolhouse, but he is a quiet man uninterested in physical love.

Major Randolph Doryan arrives in October 1917 to take command of the army camp. After winning a Victoria Cross on the Western Front, he has a crippled leg and is suffering from shell shock. When he visits the pub where Rosy is serving alone, he collapses under a flashback to the trenches and is comforted by her. The two kiss passionately until they are interrupted by the arrival of Ryan and others. Next day, the two ride to a forest for a passionate liaison and make love for the first time. Charles becomes suspicious of Rosy, but keeps his thoughts to himself ...

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Following the cover up of a crash of a nuclear bomber at an American Air Force base in the UK, Dennis Markham , a prominent Member of Parliament and opponent of the American nuclear presence in the United Kingdom, is planning to ask questions about it in Parliament. Before he can, he is reported by a London paper to have been seen leaving a woman's home on the same evening as she is visited by a military attaché from East Germany, Markham's loyalty to his country is questioned. He is hounded by the media and is forced to resign.

The author of the newspaper exposé, Nick Mullen continues his work alongside colleague Vernon Bayliss who suspects that Markham was framed. When Bayliss dies from a supposed heart attack the same night as Bayliss' flat is ransacked by someone who was not after money or valuables, Mullen suspects something deeper at work. He then finds some evidence of the cover-up of a near-accident at a nuclear site and a secret US Air Force base. With the help of Markham's secretary, Nina Beckman Mullen continues to investigate the affair despite a break in of his flat, surveillance and other attempts of the British Government to stop him. In the end, Mullen and Beckman are seemingly killed in an explosion, but Mullen's story about the cover-up is published.

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A scientist called Radcliffe is kidnapped from a train and his security escort killed. Harry Palmer, a British Army sergeant with a criminal past, now working for a Ministry of Defence organisation, is summoned by his superior, Colonel Ross, and transferred to a section headed by Major Dalby. Ross suspects that Radcliffe's disappearance is connected to the fact that sixteen other top British scientists have inexplicably left their jobs at the peak of their careers. He threatens Dalby that his group will go if Radcliffe cannot be recovered. Palmer is then introduced as a replacement for the dead security escort.

Afterwards, Dalby briefs his agents that the main suspect is Eric Grantby and his chief of staff, codenamed "Housemartin", and tells the team to find out where they are at present. Palmer is also introduced and befriends Jock Carswell. Using a Scotland Yard contact, Palmer locates Grantby but, when Palmer tries to stop Grantby getting away, he is attacked by Housemartin.

Housemartin is arrested later but, before he can be questioned, he is killed by men impersonating Palmer and Carswell. Suspecting that Radcliffe is being held in a certain disused factory, Palmer orders a search, but nothing is found except a piece of audiotape marked "IPCRESS" that produces meaningless noise when played. Dalby then points out that the paper on which Grantby had written a false phone number is the programme for an upcoming military band concert. There they encounter Grantby and a deal is struck for Radcliffe's return.

The exchange goes as planned but, as they are leaving, Palmer shoots a man in the shadows who turns out to be a CIA agent. Subsequently, another CIA operative threatens to kill Palmer if he discovers that the death was not a mistake. Some days later, it becomes clear that while Radcliffe is physically unharmed, his mind has been affected and he can no longer function as a scientist. Carswell has discovered a book titled "Induction of Psychoneuroses by Conditioned Reflex under Stress" – IPCRESS – which he believes explains what has happened to Radcliffe and the other scientists. Carswell borrows Palmer's car to test his theory on Radcliffe, but is shot before reaching him ...

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Harry Palmer who has left MI5 to work as a private investigator, is told by a mechanical voice on the phone to take a package to Helsinki. The package contains six virus-laden eggs that have been stolen from the British government's research facility at Porton Down. In Helsinki, he is met by Anya who takes him to meet her handler, Harry's old friend Leo Newbigen Leo is in love with Anya, but Harry sees that she is only pretending to reciprocate. Leo takes Harry to a secret room where a computer issues daily instructions to Leo and Anya, speaking in the same voice that summoned Harry to Helsinki.

After determining that he cannot trust either Leo or Anya, Harry is abducted by his former MI5 superior, Colonel Ross, who coerces him into working once more for the British government in pursuing the conspiracy. Harry is ordered to Latvia, in the USSR, where he embeds with some rebels to obtain intelligence. After being captured and left for dead, Harry is set free by Colonel Stok , an old acquaintance from the KGB. Back in Helsinki, Anya tries to kill Harry while seducing him, then confesses that the computer told her to kill him. Harry locks her in a room and waits for Leo at the computer. Leo offers to pay off Harry for his trouble, but Harry insists on half of the money Leo is getting from whatever the conspiracy is all about.

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British secret agent Harry Palmer is sent to Berlin by his superior Colonel Ross to arrange the defection of Colonel Stok, a prominent Soviet intelligence officer. Palmer is sceptical but links up with Johnny Vulkan, an old German friend and former criminal associate, who now runs the Berlin station for British intelligence.

Palmer makes a rendezvous with Stok in the Soviet zone of the divided city, finding him eccentric and likeable. Stok asks for the defection to be managed by Otto Kreutzmann, a West German criminal who has organised a number of recent escapes. When Palmer returns to the western sector he meets Samantha Steel, a model. He spends the night with her, but is suspicious of her forward manner. The next day he has his police contacts establish her identity and arranges for a criminal to burgle her apartment, where several different false passports are discovered ...

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The Detective Superintendent probes a grisly murder on a railway track ....

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In 1879, a communiqué from Lord Chelmsford to the Secretary of State for War in London (voice-over narration by Richard Burton) details the crushing defeat of a British force at the hands of the Zulus at the Battle of Isandlwana. In the aftermath of the battle, the victorious Zulus walk amongst the scattered bodies of dead British soldiers and gather their rifles. At a mass Zulu marriage ceremony witnessed by missionary Otto Witt and his daughter Zulu King Cetewayo (is also informed of the great victory.

A company of the British Army's 24th Regiment of Foot is using the missionary station of Rorke's Drift in Natal as a supply depot and hospital for their invasion force across the border in Zululand. Receiving news of Isandhlwana from the Natal Native Contingent Commander Adendorff, who warns that an army of 4,000 Zulu warriors is advancing to the British position, Lieutenant John Chard of the Royal Engineers assumes command of the small British detachment. Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead , an infantry officer, is rather put out to find himself subordinate to an engineer due to the latter's slightly earlier commission. Realising that they cannot outrun the Zulu army with wounded soldiers, Chard decides to make a stand at the station, using wagons, sacks of mealie, and crates of ship's biscuit to form a defensive perimeter. Witt becomes drunk and demoralises the men with his overtly dire predictions; the soldiers of the Natal Native Contingent desert. Chard orders Witt to be locked up in a supply room.

As the Zulu impis approach, a contingent of Boer horsemen arrives. They advise Chard that defending the station is hopeless. They retreat in haste, despite Chard's desperate pleas for them to stay. The Zulu army approach and then charge. The British open fire, but Adendorff informs them that the Zulus are only testing the British firepower. Witt again predicts the soldiers' inevitable fate, before being driven from the battle with his daughter. Chard is concerned that the northern perimeter wall is undermanned and realises that the attack will come from all sides. The defenders are surprised when the Zulu warriors open fire on the station with rifles taken from the British dead at Isandlwana ....

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The film opens in 1935 when Lawrence is killed in a motorcycle accident. At his memorial service at St Paul's Cathedral, a reporter tries (with little success) to gain insights into this remarkable, enigmatic man from those who knew him.

The story then moves back to the First World War, where Lawrence is a misfit British Army lieutenant, notable for his insolence and education. Over the objections of General Murray, Mr. Dryden of the Arab Bureau sends him to assess the prospects of Prince Faisal in his revolt against the Turks. On the journey, his Bedouin guide, Tafas, is killed by Sherif Ali for drinking from his well without permission. Lawrence later meets Colonel Brighton, who orders him to keep quiet, make his assessment, and leave. Lawrence ignores Brighton's orders when he meets Faisal. His outspokenness piques the prince's interest.

Brighton advises Faisal to retreat after a major defeat, but Lawrence proposes a daring surprise attack on Aqaba; its capture would provide a port from which the British could offload much-needed supplies. The town is strongly fortified against a naval assault but only lightly defended on the landward side. He convinces Faisal to provide fifty men, led by a sceptical Sherif Ali. Teenage orphans Daud and Farraj attach themselves to Lawrence as servants. They cross the Nefud Desert, considered impassable even by the Bedouins, travelling day and night on the last stage to reach water. One of Ali's men, Gasim, succumbs to fatigue and falls off his camel unnoticed during the night. When Lawrence discovers him missing, he turns back and rescues Gasim—and Sherif Ali is won over. He gives Lawrence Arab robes to wear.

Lawrence persuades Auda abu Tayi, the leader of the powerful local Howeitat tribe, to turn against the Turks. Lawrence's scheme is almost derailed when one of Ali's men kills one of Auda's because of a blood feud. Howeitat retaliation would shatter the fragile alliance, so Lawrence declares that he will execute the murderer himself. He is then stunned to discover that the culprit is Gasim, the very man he risked his own life to save in the desert, but he shoots him anyway.

The next morning, the Arabs overrun the Turkish garrison. Lawrence heads to Cairo to inform Dryden and the new commander, General Allenby, of his victory. While crossing the Sinai Desert, Daud dies when he stumbles into quicksand. Lawrence is promoted to major and given arms and money for the Arabs. He is deeply disturbed, confessing that he enjoyed executing Gasim, but Allenby brushes aside his qualms. He asks Allenby whether there is any basis for the Arabs' suspicions that the British have designs on Arabia. When pressed, the general states that they do not.

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The film is about the folly of war, and the poor state of the British Army and its leadership during the Crimean War (1853–56). Britain had not fought in a European theatre since the Battle of Waterloo in 1815, and the army had become sclerotic and bound by bureaucracy. Tactical and logistical methodology had not advanced in forty years, and the whole ethos of the army was bound in outmoded social values.

The anti-hero is a relatively competent officer, Captain Louis Nolan . A veteran of the British Indian Army, Nolan is unusual in the hierarchy of his day both for having combat experience and for having acquired his commission through merited promotion as opposed to purchase. As such he regards many of his colleagues, who are mostly aristocratic dilettantes casual about squandering their subordinates' lives, with contempt...

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Bill Masen , a merchant navy officer, is lying in hospital with his eyes bandaged. He discovers that while he has been waiting for his injured eyes to heal, an unusual meteor shower has blinded most people on Earth. Once he leaves the hospital, Masen finds people all over London struggling to stay alive in the face of their new affliction. Some survive by cooperating while others simply fight, but it is apparent that after just a few days society is disintegrating.

Masen rescues a schoolgirl named Susan from a crashed train; she has no parents and is a ward of the state. They decide to leave London and head across the English Channel to France. Masen and Susan find refuge at a chateau but when it is attacked by escaped sighted convicts, they are again forced to escape; shortly afterwards, triffids attack and kill everyone in the chateau. The carnivorous plant population continues to grow in number, feeding on people and animals as they move ...

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Fresh from his honeymoon with heiress Linda Loring, Philip Marlowe has set up shop in the upmarket Californian town of Poodle Springs. But the life of a kept man soon loses its charm, and when he's asked to find a gambler on the run from his debts, Marlowe can't resist.

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In 1883, in the Sudan, a force of 10,000 poorly trained Egyptian troops under the command of British Army Col. William "Billy" Hicks is lured into the desert and slaughtered by Muslim zealots led by Muhammad Ahmed, a fanatic Sudanese Arab who believes he is the Mahdi, the prophesied "saviour of humanity". British Prime Minister William Ewart Gladstone, who does not wish to send more military forces to Khartoum, is under great pressure to send military hero Major General Charles George Gordon there to salvage the situation and restore British prestige. Gordon has strong ties to Sudan, having broken the slave trade there in the past, but Gladstone distrusts him. Gordon has a reputation for strong, if eccentric, religious beliefs and following his own judgement, regardless of his orders. Lord Granville, the British Foreign Secretary, knowing this, tells Gladstone that by sending Gordon to Khartoum, the British government can ignore all public pressure to send an army there, and absolve themselves of any responsibility over the area if Gordon ignores his orders. Gladstone is mildly shocked at the suggestion, but as it is popular with the public and Queen Victoria, he adopts it for the sake of expediency....

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Middle-aged actress June Buckridge plays "Sister George", a lovable motor scooter-riding district nurse and local sage, in a fictional long-running BBC television soap opera, Applehurst. She has been with the show for four years and is so identified with her character that she is nicknamed "George". Off-screen, June is outspoken, ribald, cigar-smoking and frequently inebriated, unlike her kindly on-screen persona. Although June has been popular with viewers in the past, several Applehurst characters have recently been killed off causing June to worry that Sister George may be next. Her worry affects her already volatile relationship with her live-in lover, a younger, beautiful woman named Alice , whom June calls "Childie". Childlike Alice plays with dolls, writes poetry, and has a minor fashion industry job, but relies on June for most of her financial and emotional support. Domineering June is alternately affectionate toward Alice and abusive to her, and reacts jealously when Alice spends time with other men or women. Alice rebels by talking back to June and refusing to play along with a "contrition" game in which June makes her kneel and eat a cigar butt....

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A small, neat girl walks into Philip Marlowe's office. Orfamay Quest is looking for her brother Orrin. She gives Marlowe twenty dollars and lots of moral disapproval. Marlowe takes the case and finds himself drawn into the glamorous world of the Hollywood film studios.

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When a rare gold coin is stolen from her collection, Mrs Murdoch hires private eye Philip Marlowe to find it. The tough matriarch is convinced about the identity of the thief, but Marlowe's own enquiries lead him elsewhere. He's soon caught in the crossfire of a family at war with itself.

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This is California in the 50's, as beautiful as a ripe fruit and rotten to the core, reflecting all the tarnished glitter of the American Dream. Outside a club on Sunset Boulevard Marlowe meets a drunk named Terry Lennox, a man with scars on one side of his face. They forge an uneasy friendship but everything changes when Lennox shows up late one night, asking for a favour.

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Bond is sent to investigate a strange disappearance on the island of Jamaica, and discovers that the heart of the mystery lies with a sinister recluse known as 'Dr No'.

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The great Cultural Revolution in Great Britain with the election of Tony Blair in 1997. However these things take time to rot deep into the mainstream media, and it wasn't until the later part of the 2010's that the noxious effects of this revolution started to show themselves.

Increasing numbers of programmes both Radio and Television - were being adapted to fit in "BAME" actors and actresses. The historical dramas produced over the past ten years has to include a percentage of BAME sarary earners, no matter how ludicrous they appear in Medieval, Regency or Victorian clothing.

Ludicrously contrived comedy and contemporary drama offerings, showing Immigrants, Homosexuals, Transgenders and Feminists in orchestrated, engineered situations which they, in real life, would never "be" in.

And, year by year, it worsens. Recently, on Netflix, a series called "Marcella" portrayed a Britain which everyone with children has mixed race children, and every third couple portrayed is Homosexual, but all criminals are of course straight, middle or working class class white people.

In 2020 - we are at peak revolution. We are seeing television shows, movies, statues, public art, and street names all fall foul of the establishment Cultural Warriors and their deluded muscle in the Black Lives Mmatter movement, the Transgender movement, the LGBT movement and the Feminist movement.

The attack on the media - the removal of certain television programmes and movies - is a vital part of this. It is the last place that, culturally, the indigenous white people can withdraw to - from Little Dorrit, to Gone with the Wind, from Only Fools and Horses.

Pubs have been either closed or changed into entertainment eateries and venues, football clubs charge increasingly ludicrous gate prices.

Furthermore Political Correctness has made any discussion about the state of the town, county you live in, or Britain generally, which is in the least political, an act of literal danger to both future interpersonal relationships with friends or family, and the very real threat of a prison sentence for Thoughtcrime.

Here in the current year, the cancerous liberalism, which a few years ago was laughed at, now rules with a rod of iron.

No radio drama, no comedy show, no Dickens adaptation, or any modern cop drama can be produced in the UK (or beyond) which does not contain a cancerous dose of the present Establishment's political ideology, based upon the poisonous writings of Antonion Gramsci (https://bit.ly/EngMis1), and his inheritors oat the Frankfurt Institute (https://bit.ly/EngMis2).