"The Canadian Rogue" Robert Kumitz

thecanadianrogue

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Created 6 months, 1 week ago.

18 videos

CategoryGaming

If you haven't figured it out, I am a Canadian. Don't hate me all too much as I am related to the Canadian Royals. They are a lovely bunch, well, except for Ted. He's a far left liberal, and talking to him is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.

Some will describe me as a dynamic figure, as I have been known to scale the outside of buildings in search of women to woo with my sensuous and godlike remodel skills of the Skytrain Stations (its a Monorail system for the less cultured), making them more capable in the area of heat retention. I can translate ethnic slurs for Quebecois exiles, though I secretly loathe their existence, as most of them amuse themselves with the Nation game of wearing knife shoes while fighting each other with long sticks for the last Oreo. I still long for the day of those sacred Oreo's Wars.

Besides being a "Gamer" of horror, RPG and strategist based games, I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, that right I still go to school, though I may physically look old, I am a fairly young demon. Where was I? Ah yes. Wednesdays, I repair exotic electrical appliances free of charge. You can imagine the amount of women who come to me to assist them in the repair of their "Back Massager".

Besides being a "Gamer" of horror, RPG and strategist based games, I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire and I'm a private citizen, yet I some how receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Most of all... children trust me.