I know, I know, I'm a very grumpy man. He was so ostensibly close to being utterly reasonable, yet so far. A number of the offhand asides and insinuations and little details really got on my nerves. Thus into my Bitchute diary it goes. I even wrote simplistic background music. What a bugger.
Hasn't sold, might as well give it away on here. If you make it through the extended harshness of track one, some of the rest are quite groovy, and slightly easier on the ear. Still horrendously noisy and bleak. Give it an accurate genre if you can; I've given up on trying to classify it.
Another rather early song, based on a VC proto-track called "A White Horse"; now remixed for the Rendered Dread re-issue. Tiny hints of early Marilyn Manson lyrics & vocals-wise (just without the glorifying aspect), tiny bit of early Ministry otherwise, mixed with Katscan and Concrete Lung. Another nihilistic narcotics abuse song. It's not a pleasure to know I wrote it, but is at least accurate to how things had been back then. Being a demo, and unmastered, the mix volume is low so I would recommend turning it up loud.
I'm currently re-reading "Illuminati in the Music Industry", by Mark Dice. I wouldn't want to contribute to that devastating, well-orchestrated (well, not in godly sounds...) trend, neither am I anyone's shill, or pawn, as a now totally independent musical artist, so, in summary, I am not fond of this song. I share it as a cautionary warning. Were others to appreciate it too heartily, I would have strayed, and failed, and sold out to bleaker forces, and their clandestine machinations.
Still, I wrote it. Might at well fling it out, in this limited setting, hoping that those who listen to it have the equal patience to read these lines.
I think I meant counter-subversive. If I were to approach Accelerationism at all, it would be from the - indubitably - more straightforward, accessible position of the contemporary British "dissident Right". I can understand the post-binary desire for unification though, either camp pursuing separate missions that could, eventually, coalesce into the same end goal, and then on from there. I just don't like Posthumanism very much, or some of those far-out theoretical perspectives put out online, all beyond my ken mostly, and in these little printed meta-manifesto sets. That's all a moot point though. This songs clings to the 2020 year(s), and not very much on from that. I do wonder which parts of it will sink in the most locally, if at all. I just cannot let myself be nihilistic, or as resigned, or ruthless, or contrived, over it all. Also, that statement regarding The Reformation should take some explaining. I'll dig out the Dr's words later on, and return to it in another video some time.
It occurred to me to add, my vote of conscience may indeed be to spoil my paper. Labour voting from a Right perspective, much as I struggled to put this to my girlfriend (who has never voted, or shown any interest - not even over this floundering democracy, or the concept of Democracy at all, but over a world outside broken washing machines, and patio decking upkeep, and getting the kids to school on time, to a level of belligerent disinterest - but has agreed to vote now, if "encouraged suitably" and informed), may be a prudent option for any future Nationalist mass-conversion in the general public; those subsequent years of Neo-Liberal communist misery and draconian ill-sense being so shitty and unbearable were Labour to adopt power, that they could shift the unaligned populous to a long-suffering "never again" stance, or at least bring a few more round. If afforded that slim opportunity at all by such a government, that is. The alternatives are chilling.
If I vote at all, most likely it'll be The Brexit Party. Damn.
I'd rather try For Britain, but they have limited chance at this stage. I disagree over the Israel support/excuses-made-by-obligatory-mandate stance, but otherwise agree on most, if not all of their actual policies. Still, they will need a significant numbers booster to succeed in the future in a meaningful sense, and a higher level of nationwide recognition. I'd like them, out of all, to have a better chance. I'm still torn as to whether the Labour vote could galvanize that dissentient cause though. I am not so fond of all this resigned tactical long-term Utilitarianism.
The Conservatives, I think, will win though. An exponential shame.
I'm still, naturally, a little set upon, given this (initial) pseudo-allowance of any valid participation in the affairs of my country at all, as poorly served by the aforementioned limp democracy, and on all of the above also. Democracy, failed as it is, is well dead by now, I often fear, and its most vociferous advocates beyond caring, in any conscientious, compassionate form. Oh well. But damn.
Full album, and further notes, available here (you do get free listens, for anyone thus inclined): https://bleachforthestars.bandcamp.com/album/wildshank
A new demo for Blight. Just a few people I've known who shuffled off in various manners. Sampled speakers are some effortlessly cold, laconic UK mental health automatons, trained so very thoroughly to discard compassion in favour of banal clinical dogma. Also, I was referring to a 9AM surreptitious discharge time, but it did occur to me that most of these folks' difficulties began preadolescence also. It's not so much a case studies etiology as much as a missing persons check-out list. A little bit like the song "People Who Died" by Jim Carroll. Just British and thus grottier and less romanticized. I do miss Mick more than all the others though. I'd salute him, as a brother, but genuinely don't know in which direction to point. I wish still that I hadn't blown off coffee with PJ that morning. It may have made a small difference.
There are a few tracks I've wanted to finish conceptualizing and writing for the Blight album, coming soon. I'm still a little timid to release some of this new material in the modern UK (as one could be). Oh well, they're only songs, what's the worst that could happen? You can hear the older ones here (or elsewhere on my BC page): https://vorecomplexself-released.bandcamp.com/album/blight
The third track should be well familiar by now; just added for a sense of completeness as I had shared this elsewhere also. The first track draws from various writings by Mark Dice and Daniel Estulin; the second from lines quoted from "Pawns in the Game" by an older documentary narrator, in a clip I have now lost my downloaded copy of, frustratingly. MS King has covered similar ground. They give the general idea though, in cursory overview. A basic reiteration.
Not particularly great tracks in themselves, but, as usual, I though that adding music might hook people in. I can be over-optimistic sometimes.
The majority of the real-life sampled speakers are employed here with sinister irony; I'm not so sure that they'd be so very overt and "plain sight" in implicating themselves otherwise. Final note, I don't think the Langau estate is indeed quite into the area covered by The Black Forest geographically. It's close enough though. The point remains.
Mild apologies for my voice in this - on top of my occasional cigar use, I do vape. Having run out of my usual mild "Ninja Fruits: Kunai" 3mg honey melon flavoring, I had resigned myself to a stronger permutation of "Heisenberg", all menthol, aniseed and eucalyptus, with some unknown chemical aftertaste, all at an 110 wattage, as would fit my only remaining coil. Thus my throat was a bit grizzly. I was also knackered by this point; a long, intense night. A bit of a grim pun in the title, and a minute or so of scattered rambling, then another new mix demo. Oh yes, and some nice, gentle art.
Rather than write too much here, l'll just refer you to the extended introduction. Then a strange song pops up... eventually.
Here's the album referenced in the former account: https://bleachforthestars.bandcamp.com/album/the-time-for-silver-flowers
I notice that I pronounced "lieutenant" in the conventional British manner for the introduction to this. Sorry about that. If you make it in one piece through the extended fodder of the intro, I promise there's a vicious little song at the end of it all. I should also probably have mentioned Noel Benoist's input in some of the excerpts. Well, there you have it... a (very) raw industrial music demo; a few interesting tidbits along the way. Nothing new on my front waffle-wise, but it does need reiterating sometimes.
So much for surprises; the final track set for my Whorlout album is almost ready. Straight up stomping Gothic-industrial this time, but still with nods to Neofolk. I used a few of my guitars also, on top of my zither and the usual violin and viola combo. No instrumental samples anywhere on this album, just fresh home-recordings. I think this track finishes the album off well. Here are the rest (nearly there): https://vorecomplexself-released.bandcamp.com/album/whorlout
Another tune almost ready for the Whorlout album. Though the tempo remains sombre and steady in this one, I did get to experiment with playing some unusual strings rhythms over the top. I didn't initially want to finish this album, or at least l didn't think I could. Might as well see it through though. The other pieces are here, some still awaiting mastering:
As someone who had always wanted a family of my own, news from my doctor that I was infertile hit me hard, and I returned to drinking too much in an effort to nullify the daily pain of that realization. He really did tell me, with a pally smile on his face "at least you don't have to worry about contraceptives", and left the issue at that. What an ignorant prick. At least I'm a stepfather now - that role takes a certain rare breed of stoic, determined idiot. Also, those l still take alcohol, I have reeled it back in to slight/social levels. The coccyx damage has partially healed also, to as much as it will, but l get occasional twinges. I used to be heavily into adventure hobbies and sports. I miss them all now. I exercise readily and frequently though, so thankfully I'm no longer a big, fat bastard. Oh well, back to the quiet tumbleweeds of Harwich. I hope you like this early foray into composing slam poetry.
I've finally had the time to get this how I want it. A little bit of band publicity, a little bit of morose melodrama, and a great many unpopular rapid-fire opinions. Perfect. The supreme grumpiness element is likely rather accurate.
Here's my main hub, again; just pick whatever strikes you first; there's too much to easily recommend a starter album: https://vorecomplexself-released.bandcamp.com/
I know reading is still a popular means of relaxation (well, not quite in my case), information-gathering and private self-study. lt's just that I haven't met anyone else across the entire city of Harwich whom I have observed engaging in such, yet. At least, not in public. What a mild exasperation. I live in hope. I couldn't find a suitable example of the typical mainstream coffee-shop PSYOP drone muzak commonly pumped out into such hellholes, but I hope my fast-improvised humming is just as irritating a distraction. The themes covered in these books are not so twee.
This disturbing sample-based instrumental song was composed back in October 2018, as part of my then-final Vore Complex album, Fires Fly. It has proven unpopular, from my multiple-platform analytics data. Perhaps it will find more favour here (or at least be adequately listened to with proper concentration, and absorbed). A grim, visceral topic; I had needed to be this blunt. The time of reasoned, conscientious gentlemen being afforded any effective choice, or even a legitimate opinion over such matters is over, lost to the blind leaders of wanton Progressivism, dragging their feral, inverted flock on into darkness.
I thought of a recent article by Geraldine Comiskey in the November 2019 PDF edition of Culture Wars magazine which discusses the crippling blows dealt to traditional Conservatism in Ireland, and of a young, impressionable generation inculcated with an equally-blind distrust of civil discourse and differing opinion, broken and re-shaped by the hands of an egregious media and a warped education system. Abortion is covered, among other topics of sad controversy, a celebration, where none should exist, and a desecration of sacred life; all kitsch irrelevance and antiquated; an issue for ridicule, and flippant acknowledgment. A practical drawing back is not easily discerned, and would be difficult to facilitate given the ideological structures put in place by a vulgar pseudo-Liberal state, bereft of virtues.
The ideas covered in this worrying piece of brutal, and melancholic music stretch much farther afield though, deep into the ravaged hollows of a failing Western world. A “modern” nightmare. It remains an unpleasant few minutes’ listening.
I had needed to get this off my chest, if only for any respect granted to, or indeed necessary with regard to my quiet, humble channel. There is probably quite a lot contained in these few minutes, to be dipped into with a considered attention, and also at leisure; maybe not at all.
More music previewing. This one's quite upbeat and poppy, by comparison to the rest.
I had been wondering how to get into the abandoned Beacon Hill prototype gun nests and centuries-old (though still functional throughout WW1 and WW2) war edifices on the Harwich coastline. Found a back way in, in the end - eventually; through heavy undergrowth. Quite a scary site; though stark beauty too. All renovated now - no chance anymore. I helped the building project out for a single day, until what I found, alone; clearing out one of the remote corners, disturbed me, and I shied away. Also, I must say, I did not like finding reams of satanic graffiti, from basic teenager tomfoolery, to the more clandestine and severe; home-made Ouija boards; burnt and defaced Bibles, and so on and such, down in the more obscure subterranean & withdrawn areas. Always a little unsettling. This is an edited film of my original quiet solo entry. I have long lost the original. The "arty" elements should bolster the mood, not detract - sad; old; mysterious; forgotten, and still "sinister" (then at least). I'll be back if I can to check in with the redevelopment crew, I hope. I should not have been so fearful, only memories play havoc on my mind sometimes. The poem has been with me a long time.
It's a little out of date now in places. Ignore the JBP segment if you can - it seemed relevant at the time back in May 2019, though, given his recent compound misfortunes, it would be base and cruel to verbally eviscerate him further. I do not like the feral, gloating punishment the man has recently received, much as we both differed from him in opinion, and speculated over his positioning. The rest is just a brutally candid discussion on faith and the modern world; a many-splintered edifice of horror and exasperation. Not many laughs here. The wry title comes from my lifelong experience, from secular peers as much as UK media, of being told, glibly, that Christians are dull. Wrong perhaps; misinformed, or erring from truth - but I don't think this discussion is *too* boring. I would be happy for us to be corrected on any of the theological points we/l may have remembered incorrectly. The rest is just harrowing opinion.
Just thought I'd throw this out there again. So close to a reasonable opinion, yet still so far. It was my mischievous fault, for subtly derailing the conversation with gross, absurdist humour. The other two people just disappointed me, slightly. I never understand the modern world. Despite not quite seeing eye to eye with him on very much, at root, Tom remains a quiet listening pleasure for me.
A song written around the time my wife became my estranged wife; back in mid 2014. It's surprisingly poppy and upbeat, for one of mine. The little segue is a short clip of something invariably horrendous. An odd, old-school industrial/underground music video, and a little surreal. I was pleased with the lyrics to this, maudlin as they are.
The "Culler" album is all bitter, aghast and melancholic electronic 'pop' songs on lost love. It's available here, usual price: https://vorecomplexself-released.bandcamp.com/album/culler
It remains figurative also – obviously l did not physically die down there at the conclusion, though the end photo is indeed myself in a comatose and bloody state, from a few years before (following a botched wisdom tooth double-removal, without effective anesthesia). I intended it as a metaphor, though that little tunnel entrance does go down a long way. I’d love to explore it properly at some point.
This is just a brief, humble lesson in an obscure form of “gcod” ego-severing meditation, out in the field. It relaxes me away from myself sometimes – that permutation of mental exercise. It was a nice solo walk by the setting Sun too, if rather scary at some stages. I find some parts of those woods extremely unsettling, in an intangible way. Something about the spacing between the trees also, and the little details. A heightened, primeval feeling of foreboding; of being watched, or followed. I dislike encountering other people out there, though it has happened. This is only a segment. Fear is useful as a testing blade to hone the mind though.
I thought the music, the colour adjustments, and the cryptic double-acrostic poem might bolster the idea. The cover painting is called "Fresh Shore". I think it ties in abstractly.
For the late Jimmy J of Writtle, Essex, (UK). He taught me proper techniques for Fine Art (and not all that vulgar ‘modern’ art muck). He also counseled me on life, as one friend to another; a true man of the world. Without him l never would have had the courage to perform “Black Eyed Doggerel” and “Fun With Friends” live, and though that White Horse pub gig effectively ended my comedy career in Chelmsford, to silent aghast horror, and some audience tears, I am glad that I had the chance to speak my mind. I regret that he never saw me perform, then, or even soon on. This was his favourite article from the book of mine I gave him, now silent as any grave. He lives on, in my memories. A wise, benevolent, mischievous teacher, and prudent the while. A Good artist, for Good. A few lines in it reference Chelmsford itself; hateful town - fallen to loaded yuppies, satanic libertine potheads, and progressive, dunderskulled radicals with a Burroughs/Ginsberg/Bukowski fetish (at the best of times).
My partner calls me in vengeful ferocity to come and kill spiders in the house, no matter the size, screaming in inchoate feral terror. I just pick the buggers up and put them outside. She’s hardcore Vegan. I’m certainly not. I just don’t like blithe unnecessary cruelty. Some are bloody massive. We’re way bigger though. I always see it like that.
Black Eyed Doggerel: https://vorecomplexself-released.bandcamp.com/track/black-eyed-doggerel
Fun With Friends: https://vorecomplexself-released.bandcamp.com/track/fun-with-friends
Created 1 year, 3 months ago.
I hope you like the content: rather unusual music efforts, in the majority. Well, perhaps closer to a vast, wretched load of pitch black, if poetic, moaning. Usually with a horror theme, but in a severe, realistic setting. Some significant nods to political and cultural issues also - I'm on the Right (or neither... but closer to the Right, just post-binary sometimes, on better days), and a Catholic, and Traditionalist i.e. I strive to look after and protect my family, and extended family, and those who come before me in time.
Occasionally I'll display my acrylics paintings, but apart from that, most of the little display graphics are pieces of my macabre digital art. A few morbid/sardonic/pessimistic diary entries also, but not many.
Here's my business email address though: [email protected]
Thank you to all for your patience, it will not be an easy view (I would imagine), though may be rewarding to some.
PS. I write too much music. Permutations of apocalyptic Industrial, usually. Here's the main 'hub', as such. You can expand from there. There's really a great deal more: https://vorecomplexself-released.bandcamp.com/
I have a musical side-project called Bleach For The Stars [i.e. "let's clean up the universe and interpersonal cosmology we have been granted, remarkably painful as it may indeed be"], also found on Bandcamp. That proves to be both louder, and quieter, more serious and raw, and more contained and abstract, and often at the same time. It's quite hard to pin down.
PPS. my main page graphic is a little digital art decal I created with my usual morbid approach. It's meant to be a stylized hamster face. I keep a few of those animals, and am very fond of them. Both quite grim, and at the same time with a streak of dark, maybe ridiculous humour. Like most of my work then, bar some very serious exceptions.