Mastered by J. Stillings at Steel Hook Audio Mastering.
The album has barely sold so I thought I could well just give it away. It lasts over an hour, and is best heard in one go, so make sure you're settled before commencing listening. I do hope you enjoy it.

Yet more new demos. They're really quite different to my usual sound template. As acoustic and "organic" as possible. All beats, as such, are hand-drummed. The rest is zither-playing, distorted sometimes electronically to mimic a scratchy guitar sound; my only concession to my usual computer-music styles.

It's an old song by now, albeit with a new, or at least adjusted, video. Very rough visuals; very raw. Just like the issue covered. Just without the dark humor. Ignore the TDS-referencing intro filler if you like - the main topic has not gone away, and the analogy remains intact (I hope). Neo-Maoists, and such. It's not astoundingly novel or unfamiliar to people on here, but it'll do - this was created to intrigue my "normie" friends on other platforms, or maybe one or two more elsewhere, even in real-life. Beyond that, I'm just messing about of an evening.

And on we go...

Just for a bit of variation from a - no put intended - static background. I was playing this quite loudly to test it. I suggest that you do too.

Originally featured on the BFTS album Henge, in a much noisier form. I decided to re-do them though for this new release instead, now also featuring my zither playing and some freshly-added beats.

I changed the cover art at the last minute as the last design was irritating me and too close to my Wet Wire Hooks album cover. I hope this one is more-fitting. Three demo songs: one about the loss of communication in the modern world, one about the dissolution of faith and the collapse of true decent Christianity, and one mourning the death of a friend. Not cheerful stuff. I think there's an strange, ethereal quality to most of it though. Based on Industrial music, but otherworldly. The album will be finished off and out in a few weeks. It's not a bad album, but as usual, no-one will buy it. It is unlikely that you will look hyper cool in front of your friends listening to this, and there's nothing edgy in a conventional sense. It has not been recommended by any hip underground big names either, so the "Halo Effect" is not in play. Also, damn this ingrained socialism in the music sphere's markets. Still, it was fun to compose and didn't cost that much to produce. I don't charge for labour hours, only sound equipment, instruments and mastering costs.

Taken from a messaging chat with a friend:

Daily creative splurge #1. - I've invented yet another genre..."Zither-rock". Oh dear. Actually, I'll just call it "Alternative", for now. It's my attempts to blend my BFTS ambient styles with my VC style to attempt to fuse the two together (as I feel should be needed by this point as there's so much crossover already). The zither is my guitar, I feel. I have a few guitars, but I play the darn things (even) worse. So here we are, my attempts to go commercial, or similar - possibly similar (it's the best I can do to be accessible so far). I figure I should have a right to sell out, as such, by now, having written all the underground rubbish I'll need to be that horrendous breed of "art" musician. The tide washes out, like the last vestiges of an addict's needle.

Yet more raw, unusual demo songs. When will it end?

More song demos for Griefseat. These two are the slightly crunchier, punk-esque ones, with lots of live improvised instrumentation. The final three will be closer to... well, some sort of novel sound at least.

Another album that was pleasant for me as a composer writing for himself, but far too noisy for its own good, or for any hope of one or two - four if I was very lucky - copies shifting to others. My musical empathy level is low. Still, I gave it a go. Here are a few renovated demo pieces, prior to handing them on for a second mastering.

I've often thought (and known) that I could master these myself, obtaining new software and trial-and-error learning the techniques, thus saving a little cash, but I much prefer an outsider's input. Otherwise the tunes remain too insular and solipsistic. I don't mind paying a little, to take that personal compositional headache away.

Two songs, drawn from eight. They're not the best of them. I think they have a certain merit though. It's too easy to drown in noise.

Yes, hmm... I call this a "preview", however, I think, as per usual, my rubbish marketing will fall flat - I am not anticipating sales from this remastered Bleach For The Stars effort.

I just thought I'd pick the demo songs I'm happiest with off of it, so far. I hope you like them too. It's not *too* far from older Vore Complex actually. A little more original in scope. I was unable to contact Ed at the time, so concocted the bass guitar riffs myself, improvised totally and on first take (then messed about with in Goldwave), on yet another one of the aging instruments lying in the corner of the room. The full album will be eight songs, and mastered properly by J.Stillings of Steel Hook Audio Mastering. It was nice enough for me at the time, but far, far too noisy for everyone else, so I thought I'd attempt yet another concession. I'll probably perform this on a few more albums, in good time. They still won't sell.

In mild paraphrase of what my friend wrote to me some months back: "Ben, the public doesn't want or like music... it wants a brand, or a brand's favored brand, to latch onto.... to be underground popular, or popular, or cool.... marketable music for musicians, or for genuine niche appreciators, is dead". I've consulted with another (musician) friend since. We both feel he was utterly right on that.

More of those odd, noisy tunes...
Just to recap, track one's on the totalitarian rampages of Soviet (and post-) psychiatry. I do not think that these meds are a particularly good idea either, much as one is encouraged to swallow them wholesale by those "in the know". Track two's based on the spoof "Russian sleep experiment", itself based on a slew of hideous real-life human experimentation sessions and composed when I myself was not getting enough sleep. The whole "keep cutting... we no longer want to be freed" sample set also ties in (slightly) to the notion of self-censorship and the sleepwalking of a docile, masochistic British Middle Class into a totalitarian surveillance state. Track three's also a spoof (hopefully - I'm still not so sure, a few years later), although it does reference a real-life quantum computing project's attempts to break difficult encryption problems that could be an aid those wishing to perform horrible, clandestine acts and get away with it. The whole set of ten is a bit of a concept album, all in all. You may notice. It'll be out again eventually, when it's done.

It's done now, here's the link to the full version: https://bleachforthestars.bandcamp.com/album/concessions

Sadly, due to my lack of audio editing skills at the time of mastering, I was unable to remove some of the pops that occurred whenever I edited out a particularly jarring bum note or brief finger-slip. Aside from that, they were off-the-cuff improvisations, so my fingers did indeed "malfunction" in other ways, due to a lack of dexterity, but I felt it best to keep this first - in this mode of composition - album as raw as could be, and with errors intact.

Some of the background "rising synth" effects that arose from the setting i was employing grew to be irritating to me - as soon as i can invest in a proper piano, I will.

It's not all good work. I'm very pleased with some of it though. I'll learn from it for album two.

I know I've generally turned more in the direction of fledgling Neoclassical these days, through my Bleach For The Stars project, but I do have to at least attempt to keep the pot boiling in the meantime. Classical music doesn't sell too well - I know this as I picked up 19 full-length CDs last week, ranging from Beethoven and Liszt, to Gorecki, Chopin, Penderecki, Schoenberg, Berg, Hummel and Samuel Barber, to Arvo Part, Steve Reich, Philip Glass... and a fair few more: all of them for £10 total. That's a little damning, but understandable. Thus these. Oddly, though I sell jack shit online these days, despite some effort on that front, I do seem to be able to shift more hard-copies in real life, no doubt due to Ed and his vast network of pliable, patient, often reliable friends. This'll be out in a while, after the Rendered Dread re-issue.

Here's the album blurb. If you can fully decipher the somewhat relevant 20th Century woes of track 1, let alone the lyrical minefield that is track 2, then you are doing very well indeed:

"Based around older versions of some of my songs, this apocalyptic album concerns itself with the machinations of those who would see human beings as cattle, or fodder - or play objects. It hints as to the sorts of degenerate individuals, clandestine government agencies, and nightmarish "services" that have allegedly been caught carrying such out, going down to very bleak levels, drawn from anecdotal reportage and also much of factual depravity. The rest is macabre story-telling, rich in allusive surrealism."

See this as a wretched Drag Queen Story Hour, for all the darn wisdom imparted. Not quite as brutally efficacious though, sadly. Plus, with some sincere thanks, I'm not a bloody drag queen. I know well that I try to present her with books "too old for her to read". I think it's good to show them a world beyond Harry Potter and Traci Beaker though. I'd settle for Douglas Adams, CS Lewis or JRR Tolkien, or indeed Robert Lewis Stevenson, or JM Barrie, and more of that category of sound, child-friendly literature - Willard Price, even. So many more. My preadolescent childhood favourites were "Farmer Giles of Ham", "When The Whales Came", and "The Secret of N.I.M.H".

I don't know if she's really engaged at all with words these days (or any days). Thus, I try to name-drop as much of conservative material at her as possible, in the hope something sticks for later, in years to come, when she is ready to tackle the books. If the school teaches her, however superficially, about some of these sociocultural and spiritual issues (let alone Ethics), then knowing what they're like over at that greying indoctrination compound, I'd like to counteract that. It is a shame for me that my other half does not see likewise.

Mr Badger is very cuddly. He's a bit of a tosser though, it seems. Oh well, he'll outlive me. As will they, obviously. It would be good if they "looted" some of these eventually, and did more with them than stare at the covers in momentary, flitting disinterest, sell them for pennies, deface them, or give them away. They have taken me a good 28 years to accumulate.

There is a lot more I had wanted to write on this video, but I shall save that to a listener's imagination and critical thinking. Despite my absurdist submission - in peaceable exasperation - to adult-level childish nonsense, I was not pleased by any of it. They have the minds of children (naturally and excusably, in one case); neither can learn a thing.

For records' sake, I have only dipped in to "The Hammer of Witches". I think it was onto something though. Also, Queen Elizabeth II went through her coronation on June 2nd, 1953. Oh good, another idle fact. That really won't come in too useful. I'd rather examine what has occurred in the UK during her reign, and the interactions of involved players, stretching far across the century. I have no idea how they teach them history these days (though I have a few suspicions). I have a fairly good idea why they teach it in the manner they do though, very sadly. At very least... she could have pronounced "Christianity" correctly.

It's out now. It hasn't sold a single digital copy. I might just stick it on here in the end, if it still hasn't sold by the new year. I thought this particular video's framing device might be appropriate - there's not that much difference in the two playing styles: Liberty's squeaky, scratchy, unpalatable first attempt, or me after 20 years, 8 with tutored playing, and then a vast heap of nerve damage (and a certain, shall we say, knowing element of controlled Chaos to most of it). If you tire of this quaint family recording, Whorlout can be found here: https://vorecomplexself-released.bandcamp.com/album/whorlout

I did make a few mistakes, by my reckoning, in my conversation with her about her school day, and aspirations for the next few years. I would very much like to discuss her Drama interests in more detail, and to cover the field of Fine Art (and indeed The Arts) with her. I hope she reads the Shakespeare plays over with me that I bought her for Christmas, or appreciates me reading them through for her, or attempting to act one or the other out in places. I would also have liked to mention Religious Studies and garner how the school approaches Faith, and then have moved into that PSHE burglary/theft remark in more depth. It was puzzling for me. What I had really wanted to garner was the nature of their Sex Education classes, and work on from there into some contentious latter-day “hot potatoes”.

Also, on second thought, I was wrong about brain development as, as far as I am aware, it takes much longer to reach an adult level of settled cognition. About age 24, or so. I’m still not sure about the behavioural aspect though, with regard to brain plasticity. I suppose Cognitive Behavioural Therapy wouldn’t function if I was correct, so I must be wrong over that. Finally, I'm not so sure if I defined "patronize" accurately, or even adequately. As for the concept of a conceptual metaphor - again, I'd have to double-check; I list too much off the top of my head in these chats, without resources handy. It may all be a moot point though considering she wasn't listening by that stage and was doggedly and single-mindedly thinking about more anticipated presents.

I hope my final polemic ramble in this is not too obtuse. I’m not trained in Political Science either, so I’m not entirely sure, without a lot more reading and looking things up, that I indeed could explain, say, the difference between Leninism and Trotskyism. I suppose it’s an Overton window thing, and how far left one pushes, economically and culturally. Peter Hitchens could come in useful as reading material regarding that. I think the modern Conservative and Labour parties in the UK could represent examples of some of these ideological positions. The Fabian Society, and Fabian Socialism is just me being optimistic with regard to future learning, when she’s older – I don’t think it would be prudent or productive to mention anything too “New World Order” to Liberty at the moment, in anything more than a cursory fashion, much as it is set to exponentially affect us all.

Some people pursue counter-Jihads. I don't - I think mine is a counter-StateEd obsession, or at least a fervent fascination. I worry about the superfluous nonsense pumped at them, alongside, or even in lieu of, decent teaching. It's all so materialist, and cold, and conforming. I don't think she'll go to university, which is a sad bonus, in some respects. It's a shame that they – the State – get to them so much younger these days, increasingly. Home-schooling would have been very hard work, but so much better... it's just not realistic now – my partner would never agree, and neither would their biological father. I remain, an academically-engaged and concerned stepfather; a shoulder-chip a mile wide.

Another short, beginner's level Classical music improvisation, on a synth keyboard. The abstract sums up the theme, and indeed the track's sonic metaphors. I think there'll be a few more of these to come. Sorry for the pops, clicks and distortions, my audio skills are not ideal.

I was thinking of a a person wandering out into a vast desert, becoming more and most delirious at the loss of solid direction, and succumbing (temporarily) to dark thoughts. This short improvisation is the first part of this concept set, the raw trial version. I hope the sonic metaphors are not too obtuse. I think deserts can be crossed, in the end. I also thought of my recent BFTS transition from acerbic poetry sessions set to a curious blend of morose, philosophical and spiritual industrial music, and my self-facing autobiographical reflections in dark ambient and heavy electronics, into a different mode of experimental sound closer to neoclassical, or even just a beginner's level classical, albeit played on a synthesizer keyboard. I'm enjoying composing these a lot more than I usually have done. It'll get better, with slow practice.

As usual, my jaw gently and quietly dropped to the floor at various points through this discussion. Home-wisdom, if not schooling, sadly, and conducted on a "useful tips" level. I am really not so fond of the education they receive, or the way they receive it. Damn my fuzzy, bumbling voice. A slow burner, this chat, stick with it. I make filler word comments myself, I know, but the "like..." ratio to fluid, considered speech on my stepdaughter's part is also of worry to me. She needs more confidence forged. I fear they are brainwashing it out of her.

I have noticed that her most-common linguistic fillers are "like", "basically" and "and stuff". Mine are "umm..." and "sort-of". It's a pain for me too. It seems worse for them, interpersonally, when conversing with adults, as they are utterly, utterly oblivious to their speech patterns. I return to thinking of Roger Scruton and his analyses along these subject lines.

I was glad her confidence increased by the end, even though her attention wandered. No wonder, if one is taught to "listen" from day one, but never to question (or correct). No-one could hold concentration at that age, if childhood curiosity and fledgling insight was nullified immediately.

I'll use my discretion as to the gifts. Some are not suitable for an eleven year old. I don't even like her having the blasted phone. The little irritations of being a stepfather, with a real dad living a few streets away. A nice man, and busy too. I don't think he likes my input on these matters. Fair play, I make my share of mistakes... and on it goes.

I began as a Classically-trained musician. I wasn't too good at it; l had the right idea. Then I drifted off into all my modern tosh and hilarity. Now I'm back at it, self-taught. I'm still not too good. I'll never realistically be great. I'll be a bit better though. A few new songs, with that in consideration. I've also shortened the intro, to shield you from my boring voice.

Music and visuals, then lots of words.

I wrote this to reflect on my father's circumstances. He is still alive, and soldiering through, following the approach and written advice recommended by Ant Middleton, whom he reads attentively. Prostate cancer. Chronic blood and immune system difficulties. The side effects of many medications. Old age. I'm slightly, superficially sorry if the sounds are not to your tastes. They're for me though, and to him. I love my Dad, a good man, and a good father. Time continues. It is sad. This is here as testament to that. Nothing more.

I know, I know, I'm a very grumpy man. He was so ostensibly close to being utterly reasonable, yet so far. A number of the offhand asides and insinuations and little details really got on my nerves. Thus into my Bitchute diary it goes. I even wrote simplistic background music. What a bugger.


Created 1 year, 5 months ago.

145 videos


I hope you like the content: rather unusual music efforts, in the majority. Well, perhaps closer to a vast, wretched load of pitch black, if poetic, moaning. Usually with a horror theme, but in a severe, realistic setting. Some significant nods to political and cultural issues also - I'm on the Right (or neither... but closer to the Right, just post-binary sometimes, on better days), and a practicing Catholic, and Traditionalist i.e. I strive to look after and protect my family, and extended family, and those who come before me in time. Just for the sake of small-scale knowledge, I am severely displeased by the words and actions of Pope Francis, and his ilk.

Occasionally I'll display my acrylics paintings, but apart from that, most of the little display graphics are pieces of my macabre digital art. A few home-life/educating diary entries also, but not many.

Here's my business email address though: [email protected]

Thank you to all for your patience, it will not be an easy view (I would imagine), though may be rewarding to some.

PS. I write too much music. Permutations of apocalyptic Industrial, usually. Here's the main 'hub', as such. You can expand from there. There's really a great deal more: https://vorecomplexself-released.bandcamp.com/

I have a musical side-project called Bleach For The Stars, also found on Bandcamp. That proves to be both louder, and quieter, more serious and raw, and more contained and abstract, and often at the same time. It's quite hard to pin down. Have a go: https://bleachforthestars.bandcamp.com/