In The Bethel Sleepytime LSD Trip With Kris Vallotton, Bethel’s 2nd in command shares his 1999 prophetic-dream-trip to heaven and his conversation with ‘God’ who ‘leaned over and whispered’ to Kris how he’s going to tear open Christianity and create a new religion whose members will not have to use their brains. I look at the comparisons between Kris’ experiences and both LSD trips and Astral Projection, and try to work out who the very anti-Christian ‘God’ who Kris spoke to is likely to be in reality.

In 9 Rolls of Tinfoil from Outer-Space, I discover how Ed Wood Jr. would find his story-telling skills have been passed on, not to Hollywood B-movie writers, but to a whole host of "prophecy watchers" and self-declared "experts" in researching conspiracy theories, UFOs, and politics, to foist on the Christian world the type of pulp fiction bunk crap that would sell out 1950s movie theatres in Nevada. This video looks at the likes of Gary Stearman, Bob Ulrich, L.A. Marzulli, Tom Horn, Tim Alberino, Bill Koenig, Bob Maginnis, Joel Richardson, Bill Salus, Tommy Ice, Carl Teichrib, and Derek Gilbert, who have between them produced such ridiculous crap as the belief the Vatican is looking for the Messiah to arrive via UFO, and Mayan feathered serpent deity Quetzalcoatl was going to manifest on 21st December 2012 in a temple and would require battling.
Along the way they accidentally let slip their method of allowing naive Christians to see things that aren't there: 3D glasses of sight-alteration via fool beliefs.
It is a tragedy that these guys can produce such bilge and find an audience inside of Christendom to lap it up, when Christians are supposed to be the world's best thinkers and reasoners. If the above authors/filmmakers have their output accepted, it demonstrates that in the Christian world there are unfortunately a lot of gullible, slack-jawed imbeciles.

In Lucifer’s Light For $ale: Prowling for the Colour Green, having researched various prophecy “experts” for the previous 2 videos, I found they all seem to hold in high regard the late Chuck Missler, so I take a quick look at Missler’s life and crimes (fraud and plagiarism), and focus specifically on his interpretation of Proverbs 25:2 which he uses as a legitimisation tool to present his various secrets and mysteries that he thinks sheds light on the Bible. However a bit of looking around the labyrinthine oubliette his beliefs got him into—which his YouTube devotees followed him into and now hawk their wares from—I find that the oubliette is boa-constricting and serpentine, and seems to echo a familiar voice from the distant past that promised a similar giving of light to a curious/gullible mankind.

In Tinfoil Panic! L.A. Marzulli & the Supernatural Deep Sea Cucumber Men, Marzulli the fringe prophecy watcher who presents a YouTube bi-weekly series, explains for his audience the inner workings of “politics, prophecy and the supernatural”. I take a look at one of his shows to work out whether he has the ability to handle those 3 things, and immediately find there is a panic brewing and rebellion afoot against the government and against God, whilst around every corner lurk mysterious men conspiring, CGI aliens, and mysterious “supernatural” men dressed as deep sea cucumbers.

The infamous 'Glory Cloud' that appeared at Bethel Church several times (which is obviously Christmas glitter) gets explained by Danny Silk, who basically tells you if you are rational and therefore don't believe the Christmas glitter was Jesus, then you should just "Shut up!"

Bill Johnson, the pastor of Bethel Church, teaches us "everything" Jesus taught, and then reduces that "everything" down to going around doing miracles. It is extreme cherry-picking.

Paul Manwaring asked God to give him assurance he should go to Bethel. "God" gave him a verse that says Abram went to Bethel, so Paul went to Bethel, and has this evidence of "God" speaking to him. Trouble is the verse he cited says clearly Abram DIDN'T go to Bethel. Oops!

"Prophet" Kent 'Nuclear' Christmas was at Rock Church, Virginia, on 2nd January 2020 and gave a prophecy which was a 16-minute quote directly from 'God'. I listen and take a look at some of the strange views 'God' seems to have, such as his fury at satellite churches not long since saying he liked them, his determination to diminish the appeal of sports (after the failure of his promise to "bankrupt" the NFL in 2018), his desire to effectively nuke Hollywood, and his desire to "destroy" Democrat politicians on Haman's gallows(!!). In it all it seems 'God' is stuck in the fog of simplistic thinking, suggesting it juuuuust might not be God speaking after all, but rather a simpleton with a seasonal surname venting at the things he personally doesn't like, but all the same knows what hooks work on his audience, telling them God's going to magically cause a divine reversal of fortunes by taking money from Capitalists and give it to debt-ridden lazy spongers in Virginia. Keep dreamin' Duke Nukem!

This is a critique of the teaching contained in the infamous segment of Andy Stanley’s sermon “When Gracie Met Truthy” wherein he tells a story about an immoral couple in his church. It is baffling yet explains in large measure why so many people go to his church(es). Because of backlash at the time Andy Stanley edited this part out his video, but has recently put it back in because his viewpoint is gaining traction.

8. After a couple of years since my last critique on him, I return to catch up on self-proclaimed "prophet" Manasseh Jordan and his dad, the similarly self-proclaimed "master prophet" E. Bernard Jordan, to find the former has been slapped with at least 15 lawsuits, leaving the latter scrounging off of 6.66k stupid people. A bit of an unforseen end for a family of "prophets" who according to themselves seem so easily to hear the future from God, and gad around with that pillar of the phophetic, Benny Hinn! It's 'almost' as if they weren't quite what their plastic film sets had painted them as being!

To register a complaint about Manasseh Jordan's nuisance calls (illegal 'robocalls') to you (which, if they were unsolicited, can now cost Manasseh $500-$1000 per call) speak to the Federal Trade Commission at ftc.gov as recommended in the ABC Action news report seen inside the above video. That excellent exposé by ABC can be watched separately here: m.youtube.com/watch?v=u_ksJgrG89E

Manasseh Jordan has arisen out of Benny Hinn's 'crusades' and now performs the same ridiculous farce of shoving people over in churches and caterwauling. Whereas Hinn's followers are predominantly white, Jordan's are predominantly African-American.

In this video Jordan claims there is a form of prosperity called "now prosperity" and demonstrates an almost unparalleled mishandling of the Bible, all the while feeling "anointed" by God.

Perry Stone is a modern day John Brinkley, entertaining people with song and dance, then selling something utterly useless and damaging. In this teaching he misreads Scripture to force a farcical conclusion that whatever you give to God monetarily will be doubled by God in return. The people whoop and holler in appreciation of hearing this simple method of gaining the thing they worship: money.
The video deals with the various aspects of manipulation employed to con stupid people out of money.

A look at the life and prophecies of South African televangelist Kim Clement, specifically ones about Katy Perry, Earthquakes in Japan, and Robert Mugabe.

Shawn Bolz teaches Bethel people how to prophesy over others, and gives the example of when people prophesy their own good intentions rather than God's intentions, which is basically saying that a lot of the time when you prophesy, you are wrong, despite that being the Bible's criteria for spotting that someone is a false prophet.

Bill Johnson waffles about what he thinks happens when your ministry is attacked. He fails, obviously, to point out the difference between an attack against a valid Christian ministry, and an invalid one like Bethel is, then he rambles about speaking on the phone to Rick Joyner (whose literature I take a look at). Both Johnson and Joyner anointed Todd Bentley as a person greater than Moses (!!!!!!!!), so I look at the video of the lunatic anointing session that happened before it became apparent Bentley was a criminally convicted homosexual pedophile, something 'Dave' pointed out rather comprehensively discredits every single person in the anointing 'coronation'.

In This Is America  (How To Make An American Straw Man) Chris Cruz, the 'Young Adults Pastor' at Bethel Church in Redding, California, presents the American Christian "narrative on millennials...leaving the institutional church", and then sets about misrepresenting the American Christianity view so he can advance a false Bethel view that puts the "power to save Christianity" into the hands of those very millennials who are leaving the "institutional church" (like the ones who end up attending Bethel who Chris is, coincidentally, addressing), asserting rather boldly that the millennials are just like the 4th Century hermits the "Desert Fathers" for some quite way-out reasons. I have a look at his claims and the creation and padding out of his straw man.

Leslie Crandall in Bethel Church in Redding, California, describes her experience of the Toronto Blessing in the mid 1990s, taking the audience through her bias to experience something, to violently shaking, to approaching it, and then "BA-BOOM!" she has a life-changing experience that alters her way of dealing with youth pastors... FOREVER!

I run through her experience and compare it with possession in the native Japanese religion of Shinto, and my own expectation-laced experience of "God" found in a Japanese Pentecostal church, and look at the powers of expectation, the crowd, music, and the mosh pit.

Heidi Baker prophesies over the Bethelites that God is speaking to them with the voice of an eagle, and wants to give them some super-powers, and implies that God is calling the brave Americans who have travelled all across the earth for the sake of Christ are "chickens". She does her schtick of shouting "WHOAH!" and babbling in tongues.

Bill Johnson's son Eric describes Jesus as an American idiot taking selfies and being so slow that he is taken off guard by a sarcastic woman.  Bizarre.

A real oddity this. Donta Nelson (in darkness, fittingly in Bethel Church in Redding, California) recites a poem with passion about becoming a friend with God, mangling Scripture along the way, and concluding that he still hasn't become a friend with God. The goats applaud. Exit Donta stage right.

Bill Johnson teaches the Bethelites that God cannot give away sickness because He doesn't have sickness. This is despite God striking all Egypt with illness, King Herod with worms, and Zechariah with dumbness. Johnson also claims Jesus just hid somewhere whenever things got tough for the disciples. Barmy beliefs, all, like usual, not lining up with Scripture. Kris Vallotton, Johnson's 2nd in command at Bethel, turns up and overturns his master's position through relating a family experience.
Additionally Johnson quotes Yonggi Cho, the Korean financial huckster and false teacher.

In When Bill Johnson Makes a Game of Theology…But Can’t Play Ball, Johnson explains to his Bethel audience in Redding, California, how Matthew 10 tells him he is to go heal everybody, so I read the text and the verses he misses out, and find he has deliberately altered the rules of reading in order to gain for him and his disciples the POWER they are all after. As Bill makes off with the power of God as Prometheus made off with Zeus' fire, I check to see if it actually is power at all, or if it is merely the inert 'power' of fantastical thinking, especially in these days of Coronavirus (Covid-19).

Bill Johnson, Bethel's guru, presents the view that wisdom can be purchased with US dollars, so I have a look at the prosperity gospel lies.

Bill Johnson is apparently told by lots of people that Jesus’ words in Matthew 7:21-23 refer to him (the people who tell Jesus, “Lord, Lord…” and boast of doing miracles, but who won’t enter heaven). Here he tries to turn that around and say the ones who won’t enter heaven are the ones who tell him he’s a false prophet, which he achieves through painful eisegesis.

Kris Vallotton teaches on an "untranslatable" Greek word in the New Testament.  Fortunately Kris has the skills to translate it for us, resulting in a word which magically overturns 2000 years of teaching, and informs us that the Apostle Paul thinks the idea of barring women from authority over men in church is "stupid".


Created 1 year, 2 months ago.

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Category Spirituality & Faith