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Stefan Molyneux
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12 November 2023 Livestream
Our topics this livestream include the status of Bitcoin, how to avoid the yo-yo of beating addictions by "rewarding" yourself when you've been "good," and what establishing boundaries looks like live on stream!
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Freedomain Call-In
Just as a recap, my question from a couple of Friday shows ago was about how I can tackle hyper-independence as a woman when it doesn't stem from hatred of men, as I would like to marry and have children, but had concerns that this defense mechanism or strategy would get in the way. I mentioned that I don't think I hate men despite watching my mother get literally kicked out by my father with nothing, because that is what I literally witnessed, not because I have any illusions about the failure of either parents, which is mostly thanks to you and your show.
I have no contact with either of my parents now. I'm in therapy for the third and, hopefully, last time over the course of my adult life because I keep finding myself in repetitious cycles which often have echoes of the past and leave me wondering why or how I miss or ignore certain things.
It's challenging not to feel deflated at such times because I worry more that I'll become or end up similar to my mother. The best I've been able to come up with my inner Stef is that I have a fear of ending up "under the thumb of immoral people" and having to self-censor like I did through my childhood and much of my adult life simply because I'm not able to provide for myself financially. The solution I thought of from a relationship or spouse standpoint is to find someone who is virtuous, with integrity, loyal, so I won't have to worry about repeating my parents' marriage or living with people whose morals and values don't align with mine.
The purpose of my call is mainly to find out if there is an underlying hatred of men that I've missed and should focus my attention on. And if that isn't the case, get any advice from real-life Stef on how I truly break out of the hyper-self-reliant mindset and recognize more quickly when a negative cycle is repeating itself in my life.
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The LIVE Review of Napoleon 2023!
Livestreamed 29 November 2023
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8 November 2023 Livestream
Respect for expertise, the reality of altruism, anxiety and depression in modern femininity, and more!
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Get the latest on Bitcoin!
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We've been fighting so badly that our four children are begging us to divorce!
We met in high school in 2000. I was 18, she was 16; I was a senior, she was a junior. We'd known each other for about a month then started dating and got married five years later and then had our first kid in 2008. We have four children.
I'm in the military, traveled all over the world. We've gone pretty much everywhere together. A couple deployments, spent some time overseas. We're now back stateside.
It's been a somewhat tumultuous relationship. I think there have been issues with trust over the years on my part. You know, we both feel as though we have changed to try to accommodate the other person, but over the last, say, since the start of the new year, fights have gotten just incredibly worse.
We went to counseling years ago and that helped somewhat. Your conversation helped somewhat. That was about two years ago.
We had kind of peeled the onion back and determined that there were some childhood trauma issues with her side of the family, with mother and father. We talked somewhat about my side of the family, but identifying some of those issues from the past helped somewhat. We saw a marriage reconciler online in around the August time frame and that seemed to help.
So we're both very Christian. I'm trying to be a pastor, and that's a five-year seminary train up, and I'm about a year and a half into it. I'm also preaching about once to twice a month at our church and filling in various roles there. My wife helps out with the Sunday school. The kids are all involved.
I would say, you know, from the outside, it's the ideal life. You know, we have everything that we can do. could possibly want to need and the tumultuousness between the two of us, it's sad. We saw this marriage reconciler back in August time frame, had a few meetings. He helped us to patch things up from a biblical perspective and to kind of forgive and agree to kind of move on. And that helped.
And then about a month ago, we got into a big argument. I said we had a friend of ours who was over. I had had a couple of drinks and I was saying things--and I'm giving the paraphrased version--but I said a couple of things that upset my wife. They were not kind.
Then we went inside, got into it a little bit more and I thought she was saying something to the effect that she was going to leave again, which I had told her I didn't like. The argument had been over a procedure to have her laser eye surgery done. So then I got mad at her and said, "Oh, well, you're just gonna do this and to ruin the ruin the family?" and of course that's a that's a terrible thing to say. Then it just got worse from there. It's been weeks and weeks of non-stop bitterness, sadness, anger, back and forth. Yelling. I do not want to bias my side to say like, I'm the saint here. So if you want to drill down and get some details on things, I can do that. But I'm just kind of giving the wave tops.
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Sunday Morning Live 5 November 2023
In this stream:
"Your steel man argument for aggressive parenting blew me away."
"Why do people post about about the atrocity of their life, then insult all who question them about it?"
"Do you have any comments on the massive increase in dissatisfaction with working corporate jobs? I notice this on X a lot. I find it annoying as I just got my first job and I feel very grateful and have lots of excitement about the future"
And more!
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UpB question: I may be mistaken on the tenets, but if the basis of UPB seems to be offenses against someone's wishes/boundaries (rape being not UPB because it is not possible for it to be consensual, thus always guaranteed to be against someone's wishes/guaranteed to be breaking their boundaries...), then why can something only be immoral if it's part of a category that has to be against someone's wishes?
What if someone does something intentionally sadistic, such as knowing someone's trigger and pushing against it, but that thing is not physical but, let's say, sonic (making a certain noise known to be distressing)? Or lies about someone, to be more general? Just because something can be, in your assessments, not a case of immorality in the Category, why does that mean that the whole category is now off the table to not be UPB?
Emotions have opposites: happy/sad, mad/calm, laughter/serious...
What is the opposite of temptation?
What are some great ways to teach children about evil and how to recognise it? How do you make it age appropriate?
What are your thoughts on the difference between an assertive tone vs a raised voice/yelling. The way my wife speaks to the children sounds sometimes like yelling, but to her it sounds confident and assertive. For example, my son was fooling around going down the stairs while I had my other son in my hands and she saw and spoke harshly to him saying "stop, turn around, go downstairs safely", and he cried. I think he just got scared and was in an already stressful situation going down stairs, but I also thought it sounded very close to yelling.
I have wondered how much my early childhood trauma of being yelled at a lot plays into my current interpretation of her voice, but even then the difference seems to me somewhat subtle. How can I objectively identify these two cases?
How do we stop ourselves becoming corrupt in this now corrupt world? This world and society reminds me of Batman: the dark knight rises.
As a person in my early 20s there was a time before the Internet and tech. Since your daughter is 14, did she have a pre internet and tech life? And how do you think parents should navigate this?
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"Hey, Stef, would you elaborate more on success anxiety, please? When I reach a new level of success, there's a brief high followed by a lot of anxiety. Or occasionally, I will envision a new endeavor going perfectly, and when it doesn't, I berate myself for even trying, even if I was successful overall."
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
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One of the most jaw-dropping call in shows you will ever hear...
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4 November 2023 Livestream
Izzy roasts me live!
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Locals Questions - answered!
What were the most frustrating jobs you had working for someone else, and what were your experiences there that were mind boggling? Did you develop your business plan for your own venture while working with them?
I'm curious what the most frustrating experiences you had were - incompetency, lack of planning, lack of communication, irrational behaviors or decisions - and how you may have used them to motivate you to build something for yourself.
Seeing your gifts and intelligence, I assume it's been true for you for a long time that you knew you'd be happiest building something yourself, which is what lead to your entrepreneurship and of course Freedomain.
As only when one starts something and runs it does one have full responsibility, creative freedom, etc.
Hi Stef! Is there a connection between the increasing popularity of celebrating Halloween and trauma/child abuse? Many thanks.
Any tips on journalling organically? How can one know when the subconscious is speaking directly without corruption?
What are your thoughts on the Shroud of Turin?
In your recent video, you said that women who return to childhood mannerisms when flirting are incredibly dangerous. Can you please elaborate on this? Why exactly are they dangerous and can you perhaps give us some examples? Thank you.
Do you hate the Virtue of God?
Why do I become a Troll? For reference, Paranoid Schizo Mother whose parents fled Hungary, Father was Metis born. Both did drugs and alcohol.
What are your thoughts on a family constitution? Have you ever sat down with your family and negotiated on the guiding principles and how the family should be composed?
Hi Stefan, perhaps you have some words about this problem I have since you are the description of philosophically fit human.
Similar to a body builder, I know what to do. I know how to have 6 pack abs. Infact, I think most people know how to. But why don't they?
Becoming "philosophically" fit in my eyes is to embody your values. Philosophically, morally, ethically i know what to do. I know what's right. and similar to eating fatty foods, I know how to really destroy my own progress.
This is where the question comes in. The difference between me working out is that my body is submissive. It does not question the decision my brain makes. It follows my lead and has given up it's resistances for me gong to the gym. I don't have any problems creating scenarios around eating healthy or working out my body. How can I apply this principal with other pd arts of my life? I find a part of me can loudly resist decisions I make and i use this as my steering wheel for life. I'd like to hear your thoughts around "controlling the vessel / body" and why my decisions / body are functioning on 2 different but connected... idk, cords?
TL;DR: When I know whats right, why do I sometimes find my body makes it hard to generate energy / feelings toward completing the task and other times it can find infinite energy?
31 October 2023 Call-In
A father whose daughter had a conversation with Stef finds himself angry! He calls in to talk about how he can help his daughter. Is it even possible?
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We chat again with Dr. Duke Pesta, this time on THE TRUTH ABOUT SIN!
We explore gratitude and its historical significance, emphasizing its role in our relationship with God. We discuss self-ownership and how it sets humans apart from animals, as well as the concept of free will and its connection to consciousness. We address the lack of gratitude in society and its impact, and also delve into the issue of sin and Jesus' perspective on it. We discuss the importance of faith, evaluate different ideologies, and highlight the significance of actively loving others.
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1 November 2023 Livestream
Rebel bands, bleeding your capacity for heroism, revolutions without bloodshed, Bitcoin, controversy sparked by complimenting women on traditional hobbies, the importance of both mothers and fathers during childhood, and questions to ask yourself.
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Freedomain Call In - Husband and Wife
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Husband:
We are married for three years now, we have two daughters, and we had a really good relationship. I would say, we were in love--we are still in love--and we also had a really good world view. We had almost the same opinion on everything, we did not have any argument and so on. And even before our first daughter was born, we thought we also have the same view on how to raise the child and so on.
But when the daughter was born, I don't know, we had some slight disagreements. In general, we still had the same general view on how to do it, but we had individual agreements here and there, maybe related also to the other family members and so on. But it was nothing so serious.
But then after two years, we had a second daughter--she's now seven and a half months--and after that I think it became really hard for some reason. We started to argue for no really apparent big reasons. I think the worst of it all is that we argue in front of our daughters, really, really big arguments sometimes. I feel this is really terrible, the worst thing we can do for them, and for us as well. Anyway, the thing we argue in the first place is not good for me, from my point of view, And the fact that we do it in front of the daughters, it's really unimaginable for me. Before two years ago, I would never have thought we would be doing it. And my concern is I absolutely don't know what I could do differently. I thought I'm really doing my best in the relationship, in taking care of the daughters.
I have a feeling that the more I try, it's even worse. So there must be something wrong I do. Perhaps I should do less, I don't know. It's really concerning because the matter of the arguments, the topics are really crazy. It's like nonsense. say I bring a smaller plate to serve the breakfast. It's non-argument. I'm pretty sure the reason for the argument is not what the argument is about. So there must be some deeper problem. I just don't know what it could be. What I want to say also in front is that I think that my wife is starting the arguments more often than I do.
I want to help, but at least this is my opinion. And maybe it's not true, but I have to find out somehow. And since my wife is listening to your podcast, yeah, I must admit I never really listened. So she brought this idea to call you.
Wife:
As my husband said, seven months ago after the daughter was born, I think things changed a bit for me. But, it's not because of the daughter, it's because other things, especially in my family, happened. And I think it might be the cause. I didn't have a good relationship with my mother. We were always very distant. And we tri
An update on Bitcoin!
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Questions from Locals Subscribers 27 October 2023
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what are your thoughts on sleepovers? I used to do sleepovers growing up and we always snuck out, stayed up super late, ate crappy food, watched horror movies, etc. there are a lot of stories coming out about kids getting raped and molested while sleeping over at a “friends” house. Do you let Izzy go to sleepovers?
when I was younger I was exposed to very violent tv and movies by my dad. My mom didn’t like it but didn’t do anything other than passive aggressively insult my dad. Thinking back, I remember times when I would torturously kill insects and little frogs. I also had no trouble hitting our dog to “discipline” it. I am repulsed by this now and have developed empathy to the point where I would never dream of hurting animals like this. What is your analysis of this?
in the news recently Baltimore city schools had almost 0% of students pass the 7th grade standardized tests and in Oregon they are getting rid of standards for reading, writing and math because people of color can't pass them. Is this proving the Bell Curve by Douglas Murray? Can UPB be used to make education more realistic? Should students be taught to their level of capabilities? How do you imagine education in a free society?
is the United States of America an example of a philosophical derived nation? How have cultures been influenced/united by philosophy? What are some modern examples of philosophical unification?
I have one that I've thought about recently. How would you navigate a world in which it becomes increasingly more difficult to believe what you see and hear with the use of AI generated content? As it is now AI videos and AI voice recreation is about as bad as it will ever be it will only continue to get better. Seems like sources of news whether that's social media or mainstream media will be less and less reliable.
Hey Stef.
I have a friend much older than me who I’ve known for over 5 years now. He’s shown almost no character growth over the course of knowing him, and instead has shown a steady regression towards a deeper immaturity and arrested development. One example is his continual complaints about his abusive and narcissistic mother, who he now cares for and looks after begrudgingly, as well as his marriage which quickly fell apart after he says his wife physically abused him.
How does one leave old friendships that were forged in a time of immaturity and a lack of self knowledge? He is now looking to get back in touch and rekindle our friendship, but appears to hold no standards for his own self development. Is it worth trying to reason with someone who seems to be retreating into an ever-deepenin
Freedomain Call In 26 October 2023
I was seeing my brother the other week and we spoke about you and our previous call many years ago and since I am still struggling with my men, so to speak, he was very on to me about something that we discussed about my looks. And he really wanted me to like rebrand myself so he he was saying that my unluck with bad men is due how I present myself with clothing and appearance.
I'm not together with my children's father anymore.
So last time we spoke, I told you about, I was briefly seeing a guy with Tourette's, and this guy happens to be the father of my two children. And I have a three-year old girl and a 10-month old boy. And we kind of split like about more than a year ago. And he hasn't seen the children since this spring. And this is because, well, first of all, he's not in the country, and second, he wasn't being sane. He's bipolar, he has PTSD and quite a bit of a narcissist.
So when the children came, some of the problems got very clear and well, he also got worse with his sickness, so to speak. And yeah, so I'm alone with them and I still have the same look.
I guess that's my question is, is this true? Like, should I shave my head?
Like, never wear makeup, go, I don't know, get dressed in... I mean, I'm a mother today, so I would say I'm quite casual, but maybe even dress down even more, to maybe sometime in many years, but still, like, maybe meet someone later on.
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Friday Night Live 27 Oct 2023
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Philosophical take on the weight loss drug, Ozempic.
Do you have any insights on how much caution or prudence is too much when making big decisions? Is there a healthy balance between being reckless and being fearful?
Do you have any comments on the Maine shooting?
What do I talk about with my woke daughter?
What if you take the free giveaway from government and then use all that free time in some productive way?
How do I tackle hyper-independence as a woman when it doesn't stem from hatred of men but concerns of financial manipulation, having a wretched mother literally kicked out by my father with nothing. Mother was very manipulative and threatened to kick me out as a teen when I disagreed. I need to date and get married and stay home with kids. Is this just a trust issue?
Questions from Listeners October 2023
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Why is it that in pretty much all famous novels with child characters, the children are written as orphans?
Please elaborate on the duty of close personal friends in regard to your personal happiness. My consideration of the subject is derived from your narrative describing the dissolution of your first engagement from a relationship of seven years. My circumstance was similar in duration to what was and is an amazing person, yet nevertheless amicably divorced a few years later, totaling 13.
The inquiry surrounds a friend of 20 plus years whose marriage I was thanked for helping preserve after potential infidelity by his wife only a few years earlier, and was later dubbed godparents of their subsequent child, who nevertheless in reference to my divorce didn't have a single question regarding it until over a year and a half later, after distancing myself. Nor mentioned her name, and was the same friend I consulted as whether I should marry after expressing doubts regarding compatibility despite our genuine affection.
While I don't know if we should have married or divorced, and to be fair, believe him to be an otherwise decent person who wouldn't know either, what concerns me, however, is having people in my life that appear to lack equal or any concerns about important decisions in my life and their outcomes. Wherefore, it would be helpful if you could describe what philosophical standards underpinned your decision to eventually dissociate with those you've described as indifferent to your happiness.
Any advice for a W -2 employee who is transitioning to entrepreneurship while supporting a wife and two kids?
Do you have a favorite character from the Lord of the Rings books or films? If so, what do you find particularly compelling about this individual?
I have fallen for a woman who's incapable of loving and or feels herself to be unlovable. We have a history of three years of friendship, closeness, and memories, but even casual sexual intimacy during the first year that we stopped because the sex was making, too toxic? After this the friendship and closeness gradually developed into a very close relationship. Anyway, I'm hurting a lot and I feel like a victim of a broken person as I open my heart to her and it's met with coldness and no communication. Of course this is a lesson I still needed to learn from the neglect of my toxic mother in my early teens and I'm also dealing with this in therapy. But moving on, I already found a new circle of friends whom I care about and am planning an event where there will be awesome quality women with high potential for life partner. So my question is, how do y
The caller delves into struggles with school, weight, and dating. He and Stefan explore why parents may sabotage their children's weight loss efforts. They also discuss the challenges of finding quality partners and the importance of taking action when behavior doesn't align with our expectations.
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When COVID hit the government response began a gradual process of degradation of our business. After the 3 month shutdown and a year of keeping it afloat, I realized that my income had been knocked back down to what I was earning 5-6 yrs prior, and with my increased expenses, the business had become non-profitable.
Luckily I was able to sell the business to recoup some of my losses.
It was around this time my wife and I decided to leave the politically aggressive progressive big city and move our family to my hometown to live with my parents until we could welcome our third child to the world, and I could figure out a way to get our lives back on track.
A few weeks before we made the move, my brother attempted suicide for the second time in his life. (I will also mention that he was an “ADHD” kid and was heavily medicated for several years as a young child)
As the days and weeks went by following his 2nd attempt, I realized through discussions with him and my father that the way my parents handled the crisis was nothing short of terrible. So much so that when my father finally recounted exactly what happened and how he handled it, the only thought that went through my mind was “what the fuck is wrong with you!?”.
In that moment I realized I had to get my brother as far away from them as possible. To make it even more obvious that I had to do so, he was living in a terrible neighbourhood (break ins and murders and drug addicts) and working a terrible job in a low rent factory which was destroying his health. He was just over 200lbs at his heaviest, and essentially never sleeping which has contributed to short term memory loss issues. I should also mention that my parents chose that job for him as well as the house he was living in and never seriously considered helping him change either of them to improve his life.
Soon after, I suggested to my brother that I could arrange the sale of his house, move across the country and he could live with us and take a year off work, and not have to worry about paying bills—to which he enthusiastically said yes.
Thanks to some fellow FDR friends, I found a place in a great neighbourhood in a small town and I began the process of setting up our lives across the country and coordinating the sale of his house to make it all happen.
Since being here, I’ve helped him lose 50lbs and my wife and I have given him advice on where to work and his new job is going well. We’ve also had many conversations about our relationships with our parents but this is increasingly challenging to do with 3 little kids who need us.
He is helpful with our kids, and often plays with them enthusiastically, as well as contributes to c
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