HOW TO SURVIVE A CHEATING GIRLFRIEND! Freedomain Call In
I am reaching out to you today because I've had an issue that neither myself nor a few past experiences with a professional have been able to resolve. When I was in my last two years of high school, I dated a girl for about one and a half years. She was the first girl I had ever dated. She had a wonderful family, something I was not so fortunate to come from, and an especially wonderful father whom I respect much in the same way I respect you. The time came for the both of us to go off to college, and towards the end of that same month on the morning of my birthday (my birthday is towards the end of September) she called me over the phone and stretched out breaking up with me over a 14 hour span. Yes, 14 full hours. I later realized this was done to be sadistic and I had been used as a social trophy throughout the relationship.
I was a young dupe and didn't know I should've had the self respect to hang up the phone in the first 10 minutes, so I sat there and took it. I learned a few days later I had been cheated on with the new person she was with and was absolutely devastated. She posted a photo with him on her instagram less than 2 weeks later and on the other profiles of hers I had not unfollowed yet, she bragged about how wonderful college was. I then realized in the following months I had been in an emotionally abusive relationship, and that this person was never the person they had portrayed themselves to be, and the red flags of the past started to come out.
I have since moved on, dated other people, continued my education in engineering, and worked to enrich myself with new friends, hobbies, and aspirations which I feel very fulfilled by. I do not miss this person in the slightest, however I worry the experience of that level of betrayal and deception from someone I was very much so in love with has damaged me on a subconscious level. To clarify, this incident, which is already fairly trivial in the grand scheme of someone's life, occurred almost two years ago. I haven't spoken to this person in years, and I never intend to ever again. However, on at least a daily basis, I have experienced intrusive thoughts regarding being betrayed by this person, abandonment, or a wave of anger against both her and the person she had been cheating on me with. Also, many other elements which even loosely relate to the incident itself can bring out emotional flashbacks from this incident, or any of the intrusive thoughts or feelings I had just mentioned. They strangely also arise when I am having difficulty through something, say a difficult calculus problem with a step I'm stuck on. I have also noticed I have become emotionally numb to almost everything except the actual thoughts themselves, and have been caught off guard with the stoicism I have shown towards people I have dated and even just been friends with since. There's a 'disconnect' if that makes any sense.
Back in March I had spoken to a psychiatrist to not much avail. I was told there was nothing he could do to stop the thoughts, and when I told him I was worried there was some form of emotional trauma from the incident, I was told that I needed to have been in a life or death situation to have been traumatized. I stopped seeing him after three meetings when he finally told me directly there was nothing he could do, and I have been out of any sort of office in the months since.
I am now completely conscious of the fact these thoughts are causing me significant unnecessary stress and anxiety, as well as acting as a weight which serves to make certain tasks harder and more draining. I figured they would eventually go away on their own, but the fact this has gone on for two full years is not normal and I need to figure out the source and knock it out at the root.
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