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For many decades there has been a very deep longing I have had. This deep longing has brought me much sorrow. I get a little bit better year after year, but still, that sorrow wells up within me. It seems that when it does, it is as painful as ever and tears flow.
This morning I was reading about Mary when she Simeon spoke to her about her eight day old Son Jesus: "...Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising again of many in Israel; and for a sign which shall be spoken against; (Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul also,) that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed."
I thought about that "sword" that had to do with her Son. She did not get good news, but rather sorrowful news. Several months before she had called herself "Blessed among women." And, "behold, from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed." I thought about her entire life, and then the light sprung in from above.
I began to see that her life in a sense was the very picture of the born again life. She gave birth to her Son, and by Him we have the new birth. We confess we are "Blessed among people." However, as time marches on, the fears, doubts and dreads come upon us. We even doubt our salvation at times, as I am sure she had doubts about His mission. That sword was piercing her heart from that very day Simeon told her a "sword would pierce her own soul."
Mary's sorrow is compared vividly to a sword passing through her soul. Yet the soul is not the heart which is put in antithesis to the spirit. The "hearts of many" were agitated with so many thoughts, but the soul of Mary only experienced the sword. Then came the cross. We know she stood by it the whole while.
And after the cross and the Resurrection, silence. We know she died saved and in joy. I knew that the Lord spoke to me when I thought how she stood there. I saw those words in my spirit, "Stand by the Cross." Peace washed over me. Stand by the Cross no matter what longings have bypassed you. What Mary could not have here on earth, she has now in heaven. Stand by the Cross. Stand by by Christ!
“Of one thing I am perfectly sure: God's story never ends with 'ashes.”
― Elisabeth Elliot, These Strange Ashes
