Grace Joy,
I went to a catholic elementary and middle school. My family went to church when i was young (we stopped around the beginning of the 80's when my mom had to go to work), but i rejected catholic confirmation (loved science), and i studied religion from the perspective of an atheist (rejected any and all superstition, strict rationalist), until i had a 'born again'/'nirvana'/'near death'/'cosmic oneness' experience three days after 9/11.
After that i studied everything religious but was trying to build rational and scientific explanations for the rituals and such, and began calling myself a 'spiritual atheist'. A crushed disk and broken back lead me to Yoga, and i had no problem building scientific explanations for that discipline, overcame my pain and was in the best shape of my life after about five years.
I was attracted to Judaism out of admiration for the jews, and i could understand the rational wisdom of the practices. An eclectic rationalist (doubting Thomas to the core) I studied everything, including religion, intensely; disabled, poor, no social life except my sons, and was always an obsessive learner anyway, but my 'wake up' left me transformed with a profound understanding of how everyone and everything is connected, and i wanted to be the best father i could be and was trying to solve as many of the world's problems as i could with whatever time i had left.
About a year ago, i finally found the proof that Noah's flood was real (Burckle crater, impact 5771 years ago) realized that only a more advanced race than us could have known about or caused that impact, and also realized that people have been conflating two types of 'god'. 'God', with a capital 'G', is the Grand Designer, equivalent to the Divine Universe itself, the same God that even atheists like Einstein, Sagan, and even Sam Harris can wrap their heads around and experience. But that's not the god 'Yahveh' of the Bible/Torah, who was clearly an actual being (no wings; that's just how they ancients visually portrayed that they could fly and lived 'up there'); if you read about Lot and Sodom and Gamorrah, Yahveh and the Angels were clearly beings like us, and Yahveh is the LORD god, meaning there were other gods, just like the ancient Greeks and other cultures recognized, and Yahveh said don't listen to the other gods, just trust in me.
To sum it up, i believe that humans need religion to not be animals, and that our subconscious minds naturally 'think' in terms of metaphor, and i study all science, philosophy and religion through that framework. I believe that the Grand Designer Universe created all life, that 'ancient aliens' were the lower-case 'gods' of the ancient Greeks and other cultures, that they terraformed this Earth, created our race through interbreeding, interacted with humans and performed 'miracles' with their advanced technology (which included the Grand Unified Theory of physics and the ability to manipulate gravity via electricity), and i believe that Yahveh is the high king of the immortal Angelic race, that the Buddhists understand the Grand Designer but seem to have no knowledge of Yahveh and the Angelic race, that Judaism is the most advanced religion and was given to us by Yahveh, but i also believe that Jesus was likely Yahveh's actual son, and that the jews have not accepted his importance yet.
So, what would YOU call me, because i've never fit with any group, and still don't, and am a religion of one as far as i can tell. I don't think it matters, and i don't practice 'groupism' or 'group think' or 'tribalism'(a logical fallacy), and i just try to search for beauty and truth and evaluate people, things and ideas based soley on their own merit. Seriously, if you can, 'i know it sounds absurd, but please tell me who i am'?..
