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A Toast to Kurt "Let Loose The Kraken" Eichenwald

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First published at 15:10 UTC on February 25th, 2018.

Pat Bastard and the Spurious 5

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As you know, Kurt "Calamari Sutra" Eichenwald is a big fan of tentacle hentai. When he's not whacking it to monsters from the deep, Kurt "Ramming Qt Grills With My Tendrils" Eichenwald likes to take to Twitter to push politics and get people locked up for gifs. Though some narrow-minded bigots may shame him for his perverse, pulpy longings, I for one salute Kurt "Cthulhu Is My Waifu" Eichenwald, and push for the day when he, too, and those like him, will be able to make a public display of their love in front of Yog-Sothoth and their families. The hashtag is #CalamarriagEquality. Get it trending for Kurt!

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