'My Husband Wants to Pay for my Lover's Son!' Part 1 Freedomain Call In
Freedomain Call-In 20 November 2020
Intro: What does it cost you if you're wrong?
0:22 - How do we stay sane in these crazy times? What do you do to have peace of mind?
0:34 - As I have gotten older my relationships have gotten shorter and my standards have gotten higher. Many of the women I have met or dated in the past don't seem to know what they are looking for. Since I have been able to achieve decent career success, it has been very difficult for me to be attracted to women who cannot be assertive. Part of life is asking for what you want after all. Am I being unrealistic to expect a late 20s/early 30s women to be upfront about things they want (i.e. kids) and be able to communicate that? What might I need to change to attract the woman that can be assertive about these important things? Any advice for a early 30s man looking for a partner?
0:58 - I recently made the decision to move across the country to join a small group of friends that I met through the show. I'm very excited to make the move and the prospect of having a community of like minded individuals around me. But I've also spent the last couple of days feeling overwhelmed about how to tell my younger old brother about my decision without hurting him. He has been one of the central points of my life for the last 7 years and I've done my best to show him what a loving, caring, connected, and non-abusive relationship is like. I'm terrified of leaving him alone with my abusive parents, but I also feel like I cannot put off my life any longer. How do I tell my brother that I'm moving without making him feel like I'm abandoning him to my parents, and how do I stop feeling so guilty about starting my own life journey?
1:18 - Am I evil? You said in a recent call-in that true evil is when you have wronged someone beyond redemption. I may have done exactly that.
I spent nearly nine years with my husband, growing together into better versions of ourselves. We both listened to your podcasts, watched your videos, and read Real Time Relationships together. We talked values, parenting, and had a golden ticket to a happy future.
Long story short, we corrupted our sanctity during a prolonged and dirty estate battle after his father passed. Fighting became more important to us than Real Time Relationships, and we reluctantly split up last year after we had both committed emotional infidelity and had enough.
Then, very soon afterwards, I had irresponsible sex with a man I didn’t really even like and conceived my son. I came running back to my husband at 34 weeks pregnant who accepted me with open arms.
Naturally, that didn’t last. Now, I’m feeling stuck in a house with a man who couldn’t care less if I never came home, and all my bridges are burned behind me. It’s really just me and my two month old son, who may never live up to his name if I can’t get myself together.
Obviously, there are pages of details that I’m leaving out, but I think you get the picture. So, the natural question is “How has this happened?”
I’ve listened to you since 2014-ish. I know better!
I’ve been digging and digging for months, and I’m thinking that self-erasure is part of my problem. I have no identity so I go where the wind blows. I am the chameleon that you frequently describe. I am whoever I need to be for others, and I don’t even know what my favorite color is because I have done such a thorough job of being a non-person. Is that what evil looks like from the inside? I feel an urgent need to answer these questions and be the person my son needs me to be.
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|Category||News & Politics|
|Sensitivity||Normal - Content that is suitable for ages 16 and over|
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