Music, lyrics and video editing by Jon Kaplan and Al Kaplan (Conan the Barbarian: The Musical, Off-Broadway's Silence! The Musical).
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The Expendables Theme Song. Featuring Al Kaplan as Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Terry Crews, Jet Li, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis... And Jon Kaplan as Dolph Lundgren and Randy Couture.
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THE EXPENDABLES (LYRICS)
STALLONE If you're lookin' to get the job done,
Be it murder or rescuing ladies,
You cannot do better than old guys
Who were popular back in the '80s.
Yes, old, or prematurely bald,
The fearless fighting force that's called:
TEAM
The Expendables! (Repeat)
LUNDGREN Our careers were basically over,
Every one of us starring in shit.
Then one man came along with a vision,
And voila, just like that, it's a hit.
So no more straight to DVD,
'Cause I got you...
STALLONE
...And you got me!
TEAM The Expendables! (Repeat)
PG-13 is for pussies! PG-13 is for pussies!
SCHWARZENEGGER
The entire world turned against me,
(Against you) 'Cause I went and had sex with the maid.
(He fucked the maid)
I'm in desperate need of redemption,
(Redemption)
So let me help with your latest crusade.
(You're one of us)
I'll re-establish who I am when
We take down Jean Claude Van Damme.
TEAM
Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah,
Ah, Ah, Gnayanyayah, Ah
The Expendables! (Repeat)
STALLONE
No one cares if there isn't a story,
Just as long as the violence is gory.
TEAM
..PG-13 iiis for pussies!
The Expendables!
The Expendables!