George Carlin - Modern Man

Source Vid: [ https://youtu.be/Lk_dRzaBoUM ]
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Believe Nothing Question Everything! THINK For Yourself!
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I'm a modern man.. a man for the millennium - digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect.
I've been uplinked and downloaded. I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading..
I'm a high-tech low-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give ya a gigabyte.. in a nano-second.
I'm new waaave, but I'm old school - and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired heat-seeking warm-hearted cool customer.. voice activated and biodegradeable.
I interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace.. so I'm interactive I'm hyperactive and from tiime to tiime I'm radioactive..
Behind the eight-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, pushing the envelope.
I'm on point, on-task, on-message and off drugs.
I got no need for coke and speed, I've got no urge to binge and purge.
I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top but under the radar. A high concept low profile medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart-bomb. A top-gun bottom-feeder.
I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps. I run victory laps.
I'm a totally on-going big-foot slam-dunk rain-maker with a pro-active outreach.
A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic.. out of rehab ..and in denial.
I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda.
You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down. Coz I'm tireless and I'm wireless, I'm an alpha male on beta blockers.
I'm a non-believer and an overachiever. Laid-back, but fashion-forward. Up-front down-home low-rent high-maintainance.
Super-sized long-lasting high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built to last.
I'm a hands-on foot-loose knee-jerk head-case, prematurely post-traumatic and I have a love-child who sends me hate mail.
But I'm feeling, I'm caring. I'm healing, I'm sharing. A supportive, bonding, nurturing primary caregiver.
My output is down but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow.
I read junk mail, I eat junk food. I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.
I'm gender-specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose-intolerant.
I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the F-word in my email and the software on my hard drive is hard-core, no soft-porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall I bought a mini-van at a mega-store.
This is my own perfect transcription - Volound [YT]
PS: Perhaps I will do my own rtanscript and replace Volound's. I thought about when watching this vid again... I may just. ;)
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~Aum~