When I become conscious, I become aware, this awareness, triggers action. I must get up from my seat in the audience of passive spectators and victims, and climb up on the stage to become an actor responsible for my life and my destiny.
My conscience starts making contact with my Inner Self, my Soul however, in order to achieve this contact, there has to be mental silence. I must get away from the noise of everyday life. I must only listen to my Soul and this is not easy because of my many egoic personalities. My egoic personalities disguise themselves very effectively, and pretend they are my Soul. I must use discernment and be vigilant at all times and yet I know, that I will continue to fail regularly. I recognize that my ego has been lying to me all along and even now, I continue to lie to myself.
Up until now, I have unconsciously, always sold my Soul, to satisfy my ego. It is only when I confront my fears that I realize there is nothing to fear.
My jail experience created a lot of fear and yet, it helped me to face my fears, one at a time. Now, when fear appears, I welcome it.
Once I identify a fear, I can deal with it and try to discard it. I must laugh at the fact that an illusion, like fear, can cause me to be upset and often causes complete paralysis.
Once I recognize that I am afraid, I can then proceed to demystify and unmask my fear. Fear of what, of whom and why? When I take my fear to it’s very extreme, I stop dying of fear. Instead, I can let my fear die.
Fear is an illusion that paralyzes me. Fear is the master of my emotions and my thoughts. When I recognize the illusion , it spontaneously dissolves.
I must make a choice, make a decision. There is always a “good” reason for not making a choice, not taking action, not taking a position. It is crazy what tricks the ego mind plays on me. When I say, “I don’t have a choice”, I am renouncing my human condition. As a human being, I have free will and therefore, I always have a choice. An animal that is afraid fights or takes flight. An animal has no choice. Humans can follow our animal instinct or we can choose to transcend it.
Once I faced my fear head on, I admit to myself that I am scared, all the time, about everything. Why did I refuse to see this before? I believed that if I showed my fear, I would be vulnerable. To get out of fear, I must understand how this energy works.
I AM, ALL THAT IS, HAS BEEN AND CAN EVER BE, Infinite Love!
Also, I HAVE, an illusory personality that I take for myself: my ego. This false “me”, blocks the energy of Infinite Love and creates a shadow. It darkens my consciousness and stops me from seeing who I really AM: Infinite Love because all my life, I believed that this shadow was real.
From birth to death, I constantly live in fear. Every time an unpleasant event happens, an invisible veil wraps itself around me and becomes an integral part of my illusory personality. I am eventually covered with a solid coating around each cell and over my whole (physical, vital, and mental) body.
In reality under all this coating of fear is Infinite Love. It is inside me, imprinted in my 3 bodies. It is also outside, in all that surrounds me. The veils of egoic fears covering my body, stop me from vibrating at the frequency of Pure Love, and from living each moment of my daily life as an Infinite Love being.
I know that life will always give me whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of my consciousness. So how do I know that the experience which I am living is the experience that I need? I know this because it is the experience that I am living.
Is it wrong to be proud of possessions or to feel jealousy towards those that have more than me? It is neither good nor bad, it is the ego, it is unconsciousness.
So when I start to observe the ego in me, I start to move beyond ego. I must not take my ego too seriously. I face my ego; I recognize it and identify it, and try not to allow it to have power over me. When I detect my egoic behavior, I smile and laugh at myself. I ask myself how is it possible that this force of unconsciousness has controlled humanity for so long?
Ego is impersonal. Ego is not “Me”, it is only the ego. Ego exists to ensure the survival of this physical body. Now I understand its temporary role.
Renouncing all possessions has been a spiritual practice mostly in the east. The renunciation of possessions will not automatically free me of the ego. The ego will do everything to ensure its survival.
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