It’s a Long Way to Mukumbura - Mike Westcott and Leprechaun (1977)

[Lyrics]
May I have this dance ?

It's a long way to Mukumbura
It's a long way to jawl
It's a long way from your hometown
But you can have yourselves a ball
With your mukkas

Goodbye Bulawayo, tot siens Cecil Square
It's a long, long way to Mukumbura
And we're going up there to stir

It's a long way to JOC Inyanga
It's a long way, ek se
It's a long way from Umtali
But it's white tar all the way
Well, nearly
Goodbye to the Cecil
Hello the Mont Claire
It's a long, long way to JOC Inyanga
And the crowd is fighting there

It's a long way to Kariba
It's a long way to run
It's a long way from Mukute
But you can do it on your THUMB
With your FN

We love our Sergeant Major, when he drives in our RL
But when he takes it on those bush roads; it's just like going to...
Heaven, I'm in Heaven

It's a long way to Llewelyn
It's a long way on the train
We could kwai it to the North Pole, but they'd build one just the same
With a parade square
We all dig the stoppies, the haircuts and the graze
And if we really scheme it's lekker when we start on our first phase

For the Mortars
Action, disarm, look again
They're so loud

For the Blues
Changa to echo base
Homing call required over
Chopper coming

For the Instructors
One check your rear aperture
Two move your wetty bars to the rear

For the Greys
You fool private the tails at the back

For Signals
Hello two this is one over
Hello, one this is one too, are you one two?

For the Medics
This water cannot be drunk until it has been passed by the M.O

For the Cops
No madam that’s not what we use Vickers for
You want the pest control vehicle

For the RWS
Ah, Becky, I can't make up my mind
Whether to wear the green or the blue eyeshadow
for weapon training today

For the Techs
Now you chaps are expected to be keeping this keep
As it should be kept
The keep does not keep itself

For the Engineers
That’s not a flocculent idiot
It’s a soap powder

It's a long way to Mukumbura
It's a long way to jawl
It's a long way from your home town
But you can have yourselves a ball
With your mukkas
Goodbye Bulawayo, tot siens Cecil Square
It's a long, long way to Mukumbura
And we're going.. up.. there.. to..

Stir
Stir
Stir
Ensure
Stir
Ensure
Stir
Ensure
Stir

[Lyrics transcribed by The Ghost of Ian Smith in July of 2019]