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If you have friends from Colombia, you might notice that nothing gets them angrier than when others have a stereotyped conception of the Republic which involves cocaine, Pablo Escobar, and plastic surgery.
Of course, a Colombian friend knows very well that this stereotype exists, yet they still get very bothered by it every time it surfaces. In many cases, Colombians are so sensitive that they will see the stereotype and take offense, imagining that someone is a sex or drug tourist when they’re not.
In a sense it’s reasonable to expect that people will know the nice things about the country we identify with, just as it’s reasonable to expect that our colleagues will arrive on time, or that people will always be polite to us. Realistically, people will sometimes have these unpleasant ideas and behaviors.
The moment we form more realistic expectations, we will cease to find our unrealistic expectations thwarted, and find greater peace.
https://beautifulpodcast.com/go-ahead-and-be-angry-episode-166/
At times in our lives we might find ourselves in negative feedback loops, or vicious cycles. Our emotions run wild, and then we interpret them, and our interpretations lead us to more adverse emotions.
At any point in this process, we can become conscious of the emotions, the interpretations, or the impulse to continue the loop. Often just becoming aware of what is going on within us is sufficient to initiate positive, powerful transformation.
Just as with a tensed muscle, bringing consciousness to it might cause it to relax. Of course, some muscles are so tight that we must clench them in order to release them, and that too has an analogue with our emotions – “paradoxical intention” as described by Viktor Frankl i.e. when we try hard to feel an affect strongly, we will often feel calm afterwards.
For a moment we might find ourselves free from the haunting of emotions and interpretations. Then we can ask the golden question… Who do I want to be today?
https://beautifulpodcast.com/caught-in-a-trance-episode-164/
In this episode, Kurt recounts an unusual dream.
He is seated in a circle of nuns, monks and other practitioners on the grass in the grounds of a temple. To his left there is a young woman of Malaysian appearance, around 20 years old. She is overflowing with joy, laughing and joking. Kurt knows that she is the head of the temple and also an arahat, an enlightened being.
Everything is covered in the warm purple, lavender and orange hues of a sunset. One feels so intensely peaceful and content.
The group starts to walk to the hall for the evening chant. A cloud floats by overhead, tinted with these same sunset colours. The cloud is symmetrical, and in the middle it has the face of the Buddha. “Surely this must be a good omen,” one thinks.
Reaching the temple and sitting down to pray, one picks up an unusual lotus flower. It has long indigo petals, something like that of a thistle, and they are again formed into the shape of the Buddha’s face, another good omen.
Colombian singer-songwriter Darwin Grajales penned this lyric: “Cuando hay música en tu alma, la oye todo el universo.” When there is music in your soul, the whole universe hears it.
Many spiritual people, and even some scientifically minded, talk about the ideas of a fractal universe or a holographic universe. The idea is if you look at any individual part of the universe, you will find a kind of blueprint for the whole universe. The part contains the whole, and the whole contains every part.
Kary Mullis, inventor of the PCR process, said that by using the process, one could find “just about anything in just about anyone”, saying that it made him partial to the Buddhist idea that everything contains everything else.
If that is the case, even making a small change within ourselves might echo through all that exists. Doing whatever work or joyful growth to create music in our souls, perhaps it really will be heard by the universe.
https://beautifulpodcast.com/music-in-your-soul-episode-163/
As you sit in meditation, you might find that your mind starts wandering to some fantasy or some topic of the day. Perhaps you try to bring your mind back to the object, but find that your desire to fantasize is just too strong.
Then the temptation later is to scold yourself for not being focused enough, for not being able to set aside fantasies.
In many cases, and especially in the case of our own minds, we don’t need to struggle to change. Just as fertile soil, air, water and sun are sufficient to allow a seed to grow, being aware of ourselves is enough to create the conditions for change.
At first we notice the thought or whim that engages us. Then we notice the desire to continue with that whim. Then we might notice an impulse to create such a desire, becoming more and more conscious of subtle motivations which were previously hidden.
How deep might it go?
https://beautifulpodcast.com/remember-to-recognize-episode-161/
When a political figure dies, people sometimes celebrate. In the case of Thatcher, they ever took to the streets and sang “Ding dong, the witch is dead!”. They ask, “Why shouldn’t we speak ill of the dead? Why shouldn’t we criticize those who have passed?” These are posed as rhetorical questions, but as with so many rhetorical questions they are excellent lines of intellectual inquiry.
These questions are an opportunity for the application of “Chesterton’s fence”, the rule that we should not destroy something well-established unless we know first what its purpose was.
The rule to not speak of the dead is corollary of the old-fashioned standard of etiquette – that we ought not to speak ill of someone who isn’t present. To speak ill of someone who is not present gives them no chance to defend themselves, and also no chance to resolve the conflict. Without such a chance, the target of our gossip is clearly at a disadvantage.
We can also see the effects of this personally in ourselves and in others who have this habit. When we gossip about others living or not, we can begin to ask “Right now, am I feeling light, calm, joyful? Or am I feeling bitter?”
Our Great Teacher Lord Buddha and many sages before Him told us that we only have three tools with which to interact with the world – our thoughts, speech and action. We may find that applying awareness and restraint to one of these often aligns the other two. In this case, if we control our negative speech, we may find that our unfavorable thoughts and actions are also subdued. Then perhaps we have a chance to think, speak and act in a way that is delightful.
Getting caught up with life, we might go months without making the effort to feel what’s going on inside ourselves. When we do, it might even seem something foreign. We will likely find some kind of unease sitting in the background.
Now, you are invited to look within. Do you find some residue of past emotions, some grudge of which you haven’t quite let go? Some discomfort waiting, making a subtle noise like radio static?
We can begin to observe the feeling and texture of these emotions, perhaps giving them names in order to better understand them.
Then we check in on them from time to time, eventually finding that they have dissolved, and in their wake there is nothing but clear space.
https://beautifulpodcast.com/explore-your-emotions-episode-160/
Psychologist R.D. Laing used to tell a story of a prisoner who was sitting in his cell. One day the guards come and open the gate and say “Your time is up. You’re free to go.”
Unusually, the prisoner says “No, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving this place until I understand the exact circumstances which lead to my being here.”
It might sound strange, but many of us take a similar course of action when we find ourselves in depression, anxiety, or other unfavourable mental states.
We might not know how we got there… But we have the power to walk out.
In the age of information, fake news, real news and every other kind of news inbetween, it’s important to be media savvy. With so many people wanting us to believe their ideas, combined with a highly emotional topic such as a contagious disease, it’s vital to know how to examine what is being presented.
Learning how to discern what is said, what is unsaid and what is true is difficult. We can begin by asking these three key questions:
What is the agenda?
Many have heard the expression “If it bleeds, it leads”, meaning that if a story is sensational or horrific, media organizations are much more likely to make it a front page or leading story.
Some say humans have an evolutionary bias towards bad news, as part of the reason humans have survived so long is by being very risk-averse and avoiding threats. That is what makes news organizations focus on the bad stuff.
If our friends become infected with fear or hysteria from the news, they will also want us to feel afraid, as misery loves company.
Governments sometimes also like us to feel fear, as that can make us easier to control.
Knowing that a source has bad intentions doesn’t mean that they’re wrong, just as knowing someone has good intentions doesn’t mean that they’re correct. Even so, it is useful to be aware of those biases so we can treat the information accordingly.
What is the context?
Let’s say someone tells you about a disease which is going to kill 100,000s of people in the next year. It’s causing people heart damage, lung damage, loss of smell, taste and hair.
If I tell you it’s a new disease, you might be very alarmed. However, if I tell you that these are all facts about influenza – which they are – you might simply say “oh, so it’s fine.”
In many cases, when the news is reported, it lacks key context. That can often, deliberately, make the facts seem more sensational than they are.
So it is important to ask, what information doesn’t this article tell me? Does it tell me what the situation looks like normally, and how the current situation compares?
What is the content?
When we read an article, sometimes the wording can be phrased as to mislead – inciting fear in the audience by allowing them to fill in the blanks.
Headlines are often not representative of the article, and when we read the body closely, we might find that it tells a very different story. Sometimes the headline is an oversimplification, and sometimes it even contradicts the main text.
News organizations are aware that people tune out after the headline and will take advantage of this fact. That’s why it’s important to be aware of what is literally stated.
In sales, people talk about the idea of “going first”, meaning that if you want someone to feel a certain emotion, you can feel it yourself. If you want someone to be happy, you can set an example by being happy. If you’d like people to forgive you, or themselves, you can be a model for that behavior.
On the flipside, if I feel sorry for myself or feel guilty for things I’ve done, others might follow my lead and blame me. And even if they don’t, it might color my perception so much that I believe they do.
The biologist Rupert Sheldrake proposed the idea of “morphic fields”. He believes that the universe is a creature of habit. When something happens once, it is more likely to happen again. And when it happens many times, it is much more likely.
When we assume the sweet responsibility of forgiving ourselves and others, could it be that we set a precedent for the universe, with our forgiveness echoing in every soul, ready to forgive more and more?
In many situations, we might find ourselves with a level of healthy stress – practicing yoga, in the gym, in our professional lives and even in our hobbies. The stress is good for us; it will help us grow. But if we only have stress, the growth can be more difficult than it needs to be.
The stress is the yang, the masculine energy. When we find a yin, or feminine energy, that can aid the growth. The yin can be the “spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down”, so to speak.
In yoga, we do a stretch and focus our breath and blood-flow into the tendons, relaxing as we are tensing. Or some of our muscles might be very tight in the moment, and the surrounding muscles are completely still.
In a pool hall, we might take the same shot over and over, hundreds of times, just like Minnesota Fats in Walter Tevis’s The Hustler. Our relaxed, welcoming attitude to the outcome provides a soft cushion for our successes and failures.
There, we find comfort in the uncomfortable.
https://beautifulpodcast.com/comfort-in-the-uncomfortable-episode-155/
As we go about our days, we might find ourselves lost in thought. We worry about whether we turned off the oven or the water heater, whether we will meet the deadline, whether people will like us.
Perhaps it shouldn’t be a surprise that at some point during our day, suddenly there’s a burst of adrenaline from the sides of our spine, and we start to feel a little anxiety or even panic, wondering if there’s something urgent left to do.
In those moments, we can take a deep breath and remember… Maybe we will find the strength to face whatever arises, maybe we have that inner peace to handle all situations in the moment we require it. Maybe, in fact, there’s nothing to worry about at all, ever.
Maybe it’s nothing.
If you reflect on your life, you can probably remember many times when you said something you thought was rather innocent, and someone got very offended. Perhaps in the context there was a connotation which you were unaware of, or you just made a slip-up.
Likewise, you might remember many times you were offended, reacting quickly, assuming that you knew exactly what was intended.
Many times we react without knowing what a person meant – as we can’t know what is going on in someone’s mind before asking. It’s very likely that their comment was more innocent than we realized, as people are often involved in their own worlds, and can’t know ahead of time how their comment might be interpreted.
In fact, even when someone sets out to offend us, in a way they have a positive intention. To seek to offend you is to affirm that your opinion and your mind is worthy of attention.
https://beautifulpodcast.com/i-didnt-mean-to-offend-episode-153/
Sometimes people say there are many more negative emotions than there are positive emotions. Perhaps it’s just because we haven’t yet charted our internal universes, discovering exactly what it is to feel, what colors are available for our emotional paintbrushes.
In Latin America, you might show someone a picture of your pet and they say “que lindo” – “how lovely”, or you ask about their favorite town and they say “es un pueblo muy bonito” – “it’s a very pretty town”. When they say it, you can easily hear in their voice that they are emotional about it.
Perhaps we might call this emotion “enchantment”, just as we sometimes say in English “It’s enchanting to meet you.”
What does it feel like to be enchanted? What enchants you? And can you be more open to being enchanted?
https://beautifulpodcast.com/enchanted-to-meet-you-episode-151/
When we begin some discipline, eventually, we might stop the practice. Our schedule gets too busy, or we feel too lazy, and we forget how important our meditation, exercise or reading was to us.
The act of returning to practice is so important that some even say, that is the practice. Perhaps the practice is not when things are going well for us, when we follow our schedule carefully. Perhaps the practice is when things become difficult and we lose our way.
With a little presence, we make our decision, and again we begin to sit and contemplate, to go to the gym, or crack open our books. We return to practice.
https://beautifulpodcast.com/return-to-practice-episode-150/
A prince lives in his palace for many years, enjoying fine wine, fine food and the company of beautiful, charismatic women. “I love life,” he says. “Life is so kind to me and offers me so many wonderful things.”
One day he decides he would like to see what the rest of the world looks like. He leaves with his faithful servant to explore the city. There he sees many forms of suffering – sickness, old age, poverty.
Now that the prince has seen that life is not perfect, that there are flaws and even tragedies, will he still have the courage to embrace the world, to love it? And would you?
https://beautifulpodcast.com/beautiful-medellin-episode-148/
Alistair Hart is a meditation teacher, showing students to learn how to be free of thoughts using knowledge from yoga.
In this episode, Alistair tells his story about facing various health difficulties – problems with his hip and shoulder joints, with his eyes, among others. Eventually he realized that the solution was to be found inside, using techniques such as yoga, astrology and applied kinesiology.
https://beautifulpodcast.com/healing-journey-with-alistair-hart-episode-147/
Deep in sleep, you might gently enter a dream, finding yourself in a foreign land with no familiar surroundings. Nobody speaks your language, and you’re not sure how to get where you want to go.
If you desire to control your experience, this might be a nightmare. Not knowing where you are and where to go can induce anxiety.
However, when you relax into such a dream, without preconception, ready to go wherever the path takes you, this dream will be an exploration and a blessing.
How is life like that dream?
https://beautifulpodcast.com/lost-in-the-mystery-episode-146/
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” – Napoleon Hill
From a certain perspective, life is a series of disappointments and disillusionments. Reality rarely lives up to our expectations. Even when we get what we want, it seems that it’s not as sweet as we thought it might be.
When we examine our life more closely, when we embrace those failures, we might find that they contain wisdom for us… At first, simple things like “I won’t say that and embarrass myself again.” Then later, we see that our setbacks enable us a greater depth of understanding of ourselves, of the beauty of the world.
Using the correct eye, we might turn everything to gold.
If you’re a good person, you might do things for other people without thinking about what you’ll get in return. If you’re committed, you might even do things for people you don’t particularly like, just because you are in a position to help people.
Of course, the good karma is inevitable. If you do things for people, they will want to help you, speak well of you and recommend your business.
Then one day you will surely find yourself in a situation where you make an error, big or small. Perhaps it’s a small mistake, but because of the context it might have drastic consequences. But maybe, just maybe, people will see the kindness in your heart and be gracious enough to ignore your error.
Watching a Hollywood movie with an orchestral soundtrack and lines carefully crafted to make us feel emotions, it’s only natural that we do feel emotions.
However, having that kind of awe, joy or elation in everyday life can be a little more subtle. We might have to listen carefully to pick it up.
Then, when we listen to someone and we do feel it, deeply, we can affirm that what they’re saying is special, with the simple and sweet phrase “you move me with your words.”
Super Ego is a hip hop producer and MC coming out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
In this interview, Super Ego explains the story of when his girlfriend took legal action against him, putting a restraining order and stealing almost all of his music equipment. As a result, he felt fear and created a belief system to try to avoid feeling like that ever again.
Many people seem to develop similar beliefs and identities to avoid negative feelings, and Super Ego explains how someone can process those feelings through being aware of who you’re spending your time with, by exercising, and by taking the time to sit and process the emotions.
https://beautifulpodcast.com/feel-the-fear-with-super-ego-episode-142/
Some people might tell you that if you have to try to be happy, maybe you’re not really happy. Perhaps this is a romantic idea of happiness, much like the romantic, Hollywood idea of love – that it doesn’t take effort, that it will happen of its own accord, that we don’t have to work on it.
Yet, when we look inside ourselves, directing our attention to the sacrum and the solar plexus, we might find that we observe a little light within us, a simple happiness connecting our body through the vagus nerve.
If we apply a little extra pressure, a little squeeze, we might feel even better, as if we’re tickling ourselves from the inside. Can we will ourselves to be happy?
https://beautifulpodcast.com/squeeze-a-little-happiness-episode-141/
At many moments in our lives, we will feel that someone has wronged us. We can choose to express our feelings, demand an apology, or we can choose to let it go. The worst thing we can do is what so many of us do – hold on to the grudge, without acting.
As humorist Buddy Hackett once quipped “I never hold a grudge … While you hold a grudge, they’re out dancing.” Holding onto negative emotions does not serve us; it embittens us. The more we hold on, the more they poison us; the more we forget the nice things that people have done for us.
In every moment some fixed feeling of being wronged emerges in our belly, we have the choice. We can allow that feeling to rot our insides, or we can shine the divine light of consciousness on it, making a decision to never feel it again.
In some ways, the shower is a cultural symbol, representing a period of the day that we have to ourselves, with few other responsibilities.
Some people know the shower as the “argument simulator”. We get into the shower and start imagining all of those arguments we could have one, all those zingers we’d lay down against our colleagues or family members to leave them so speechless that they had to admit we were right.
Or we know it as the time for “shower thoughts”, the times when our minds are most creative, looking at the world from a different perspective.
It is also a time when we can simply enjoy the moment. A hot shower or even a cold shower is a chance to enjoy bodily awareness, feeling the sensations of various parts of our bodies which we don’t always use, allowing the blood to flow into them and come alive.
There we feel presence, feeling every drop on our bodies. One moment of presence in a day makes all the difference.
Created 3 years, 11 months ago.
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