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Narcissistic Abuse with Sam Vaknin
People under age 35 are walking dead who live in a dystopian hell.
No higher functions. No intellectual life. No interests or hobbies. No conversation (“flat speech”): dismissive one-liners with no depth or background. As dull as drying paint.
Actions don’t matter, the heart matters, motivations matter: they are negative, you are negative, even if you act positively and you will be judged negatively.
Change from inside, yourself – and your world will change. When action ends, you are still stuck with yourself. Action regulates moods and pleasure, nothing else.
Working on yourself is good project if not tinged with anxiety or negative emotions like pain aversion avoidance envy wish to show off grandiosity or fear (improve, change, reach for goals, modify) not good driver. Outcome of catastrophizing and leads to negative territory.
Out of love, pleasure good thing not with gun to your head (same action experienced differently owing to fear), no background, no resonance with anything positive inside, just with negative which causes trauma and rejection of life and reality (loner).
Right things for wrong reasons healthy things for unhealthy reasons dissonance no happiness pleasure satisfaction don’t get you anywhere
What wrong with me? Doing all right things everything everything I can all right things but is not getting me anywhere why what’s wrong probably wrong with me.
Instead of doing right things focus on getting right motivations focus on feeling not on acting (action- not emotion- or cognition-oriented, it’s automatic, or following algorithms, commands, recipes like in religion or self-help).
As long as you don’t change your motivation, your emotional landscape/background, no action will get you anywhere.
The cart before the horse: emotions come first, actions second. Actions do not create reliable long-term emotions which create reliable, long-term actions and these actions enhance the emotions.
Not what I need to do but what I need to feel, why am I doing this: feel love reach out to intimate partners, friends, family.
Negativity can take you a long way (Hitler) but only so far up to a point and it always ends badly implode fall apart. Negative emotions not glue, but explosives not fear of hell but love of god.
Negativity and constriction are choices blasphemy (rejecting god’s gifts given to be used and god himself) spitting in life’s face give up on world and positivity sacrilegious also inefficacious.
Total rejection of life suicide biggest possible sin but suicide also mental
Switch to positive emotionality to motivate actions to re-embrace life
Religion god embraces life truth positivity love not death and isolation unbeing. Even monks reject all commitments except undivided commitment, attention, resources, energy to god – not life (marriage, family)!
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In my line of work, I come across evil a lot. It is multifarious and cunning and often unidentifiable. You know you had been exposed to it when you shower compulsively after the encounter, to cleanse yourself.
Evil is not only the psychopathic, sadistic, premeditated sort. Evil has numerous faces.
Evil is in every power play, when winning is set above happiness and above life itself.
Evil is in being weak, spineless, unboundaried and giving your body away promiscuously and your mind away obsequiously.
Self-contempt, self-loathing, self-hatred, and dysregulation are all forms of evil: psychopathy in these cases is just a heartbeat away. She who despises and disrespects her body and mind is bound to abuse the bodies and minds of others.
Indifference to the sufferings and needs of others is evil - as is suffering and neediness themselves. Flat affect, flat attachment, making excuses for or minimizing bad or self-destructive misconduct, and an unmitigated lack of self-awareness are the marks of this beast.
The distractions that cause apathy and render calamities a mere form of entertainment is wicked.
Valuing the inanimate and the material and the dead above the living is the epitome of malice.
Egotism is evil reified.
Evil rubs off on you, it is contagious. Cleanse yourself. Avoid it, no matter the temptation, regardless of the costs. Evil often masquerades as dazzling beauty or unfathomable wisdom - yet, it is their anathema.
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Some abusive relationships end in murder. How does love become death? From Stockholm Syndrome through Trauma Bonding to Tendency to Interpersonal Victimhood: a survey of current knowledge.
Interview granted to Alla Sadovnyk of Ukrainian National Broadcasting Company
The full documentary (Ukrainian): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_JtWKB8PLOo
More about abuse in intimate relationships:
Women choose "beta" males on Tinder when they date or have casual sex, not "chads". They want to remain empowered singles. "Alpha" males on Tinder are Dark Triad personalities (narcissists and psychopaths), interested in hookups. People use dating apps almost exclusively for entertainment, to boost to self-esteem, and to find an intimate romantic partner. When it comes to real-life face-to-face dating or to finding sex, the apps are a total failure.
SCHOLARLY REFERENCES
1. Sexual Medicine Reviews, Volume 8, Issue 3, July 2020, Pages 367-378
Sexological Aspects Related to Tinder Use: A Comprehensive Review of the Literature
2. Personality and Individual Differences, Volume 155, 1 March 2020, 109739
Never mind I'll find someone like me – Assortative mating preferences on Tinder
3. The Dark Tetrad in Tinder: hook-up app for high psychopathy individuals, and a diverse utilitarian tool for Machiavellians?
Minna Lyons, Ashleigh Messenger, Rebecca Perry & Gayle Brewer
Current Psychology (2020)
4. Trond Viggo Grøntvedt at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology and his colleagues surveyed 269 students in Norway
5. Study of 1038 Belgian Tinder users
8. Tinder: women get many more matches, but it's quantity, not quality
By Jeanette Purvis
10. https://www.statista.com/statistics/975925/us-tinder-user-ratio-gender/
12. https://lendedu.com/blog/tinder-match-millennials/
13. https://onlineforlove.com/bumble-vs-tinder/
14. https://simpletexting.com/dating-app-survey/
15. https://www.moderndatingmyths.com/
16. https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a23653557/tinder-survey-says-millennials-like-being-single/
18. https://www.tinderpressroom.com/about
19. https://arxiv.org/abs/1607.01952
20. https://amp.businessinsider.com/tinder-secret-success-rate-photos-right-swipe-percentage-2017-3
MEDIA ARTICLES
Modern young women prefer LESS intelligent loser beta males for long-term relationships and increasingly also for casual sex. ALPHA MALES are losing out!
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/evolution/9295131/Why-women-prefer-weaker-men.html
https://nypost.com/2018/08/22/men-can-be-too-smart-to-date/
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/bjop.12342
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_myth_of_the_alpha_male
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male-a7724971.html
Why do people seek partners - sexual and romantic - from "out groups" (other religions, races, ethnicities, and minority groups, not their own)?
More about victimhood state of mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIfTn7x6tzk&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3B44ProV_XB05Cd2MjvWxX
Sex drive is autoerotic. Object relations redirect it. When we are atomized, we regress to being autoerotic in a schizoid state.
Generational gap in psychology studies
Gender vertigo: women – especially VICTIMS of abuse – more psychopathic and narcissistic. Confuse assertiveness with aggression. Emulate psychopathic men.
Bodies in public domain (sexting, cams, digital forever, not perceived as sex so digital promiscuity)
21% of all couples in the USA are sexless (fuck fewer than 10 times a year). The real figure is probably much higher.
Among people under age 35, the situation is unmitigated disaster.
5 years without sex is very very common. Many go 10 years without sex
A sizable proportion of the population gave up on sex - and relationships! – altogether. People gave up on all types of connection, not only sex.
Gender Reversal example: men have started to withhold sex as an act of protesting , traditionally a 'feminine move.
Men just talk with women. They flee at the first sign of assertive sexual advances.
Men are terrified of sex because they perceive women as judgmental, aggressive, defiant, and psychopathic - or “insane” (dysregulated, labile) and bitter.
And men are right: women have become a lot more antisocial and man-haters. The change in gender roles (women stronger, more independent) turned men off completely.
The abyss between the genders is hopelessly unbridgeable, in my opinions.
Misogynists like Muslims and Italians are reaping the rewards, ironically.
Today, to find a willing sex partner is like winning the lottery. People lose it when they finally come across someone who actually likes to have sex: they cheat on their spouses, degrade themselves as subs, do anything, even in casual sex. Things have never been worse.
Heterophily low, so the potential for conflict is high.
Members of out groups like to mate with white women as a form of payback and a way of humiliating “white whores”. Hangover from colonialism (post-colonialism).
Interracial porn and cuckoldry
As far as male members of the out-groups, white women are whorish but status symbol, have arrived, belonging and acceptance.
Exogamy rare (interracial couples) result extended or virtual singlehood.
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A series of earth-shattering social, economic, and technological trends converged to render their jobs loathsome to many - a tedious nuisance best avoided.
Text here: http://samvak.tripod.com/workethic.html
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Self-sustaining self-sufficiency within firm personal boundaries is a sign of a stable sense of self-worth, maturity, resilience, and inner strength: the ability to spend time with yourself, productive and content is a gift.
Self-sufficiency is intimately link to a sense of agency and personal autonomy (internal locus of control): a distinct, demarcated self; smooth, seamless, assured self-governance; and the capacity to act independently, based on free choice. These are the hallmarks of and the prerequisites to self-efficacy (Bandura): "how well one can execute courses of action required to deal with prospective situations" and extract beneficial outcomes from one’s environment, human or physical.
But self-sufficiency is often confused with insecure, fear-based, hurt-averse attachment styles: avoidance and withdrawal. Other mental health problems masquerade as self-sufficiency: the narcissist’s grandiosity, the psychopath’s defiance, the schizoid’s essential emptiness and solipsistic reclusiveness, and the borderline’s dysregulated emotions and mood lability. These are all forms of counterdependency, the exact opposite of self-sufficiency.
Accustomed to “normal”, mentally healthy people, the intimate partners of narcissists and psychopaths keep probing, attempting with growing desperation and disbelief to pry open their inscrutable mates.
Move on, folks, there’s nothing to see here.
The psychopath and the narcissist are shimmering surfaces. They have no depth. Behind the alluring facade, there is only an empty, self-abandoned schizoid core. No ego and self can ever form without object relations (meaningful interpersonal interactions).
Narcissists and psychopaths are goal-oriented two-state impersonal automate, gleaming metal swamped by primitive defenses and drowning in negative emotions.
The harder one tries to get to the know the essential core of the narcissist and psychopath, the more ruinous the descent into the black hole that is their quiddity. They are entities made of all-consuming absence, a form of carbon-based antimatter.
And you can’t wrap your head around this realization that your narcissist or psychopath, the man you love with all your heart just isn’t there, he is a mere apparition, a simulacrum and simulation, not human in any possible sense of the word. You are attached to an ever-receding mirage of an oasis, shape-shifting to mirror you ideally.
Ultimately, this deep space emptiness infects and permeates you and you find yourself tumbling head over heels in the dark void of this absent soul, tethered to nothing but your impending doom.
“How can I keep my cerebral narcissist sexually active throughout our relationship?”
Answer: Approach-avoid all the time, keep him on his toes, guessing, anxious, expecting the next blow to fall. Intermittent reinforcement. Imminent abandonment. Hints at triangulation (but not actual misbehavior). He will remain hypersexed as long as you remain halfheartedly committed. Make sure you are never taken for granted and never fully and irrevocably there. Keep your suitcases packed at all times.
“Is it true that cerebral narcissists do a lot of casual sex and cheat?”
Cerebral narcissists are asexual, so they do not cheat. But even when they are in a somatic phase, they are sexually active only during the lovebombing stage of the shared fantasy.
More generally: like all narcissists, cerebrals need to feel unique. Casual sex implies that the cerebral is just one of many, about to be discarded once the sex is over, and stripped of the locus of his superiority (his intellect), having been transformed into a mere sex object.
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Failure of enlightenment project
Malignant individualism (no religion, no institutions, no social networks, self-sufficiency, no objective benchmarks, disintermediation, no gatekeepers, no institutional memorytimelessness)
Malignant egalitarianism/grandiosity (no role models, access to technology, destructive envy,
Malignant tolerance (moral relativism, political correctness, truthiness)
Malignant reasoning (ideas and concepts over people, interdisciplinarity and pseudosciences, technology not science, technology not civilization, information not knowledge or education)
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NEW CHANNEL Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTg79xJ1-pDFkg-aBe9KXLw
Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism Playlist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3RTSj7sW28ykk51HfHMNXQ
"Alpha males are not born, and they don't achieve their position based purely on size and temperament. The primate alpha male is a much more complex and responsible being than a bully.
Merciless tyrants do sometimes rise to the top in a chimpanzee community, but the more typical alphas that I have known were quite the opposite. Males in this position are not necessarily the biggest, strongest, meanest ones around, since they often reach the top with the assistance of others. In fact, the smallest male may become alpha if he has the right supporters. Most alpha males protect the underdog, keep the peace, and reassure those who are distressed. Analyzing all instances in which one individual hugs another who has lost a fight, we found that although females generally console others more often than do males, there is one striking exception: the alpha male. This male acts as the healer-in-chief, comforting others in agony more than anyone else in the community. As soon as a fight erupts among its members, everyone turns to him to see how he is going to handle it. He is the final arbiter, intent on restoring harmony. He will impressively stand between screaming parties, with his arms raised, until things calm down."
Mama's Last Hug by Frans de Waal, W.W. Norton & Company, 2019
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Psychologists cannot agree on even the most basic things, psychology can never be a science. So, why bother?
Presentation at the 38th Global Psychiatry and Mental Health Conference, February 2021
More here: http://samvak.tripod.com/nm017.html
Cryptocurrencies represent a major foundational revolution whose full implications are yet to be grasped. They challenge the paradigms underlying both the central banks’ money monopoly and public digital goods.
Cryptoassets are digital goods, but they are scarce: they require “mining” and the total number of units in limited. Consequently, cryptoassets such as cryptocurrencies are rivlarous (there is a marginal cost associated with producing additional units) and excludable (access to and ownership of the cryptoasset is restricted).
Blockchain technologies are to transactions what TCP/IP is to connections: they offer distributed, redundant, and autonomous self-updating, propagated, time-stamped, linked, irreversible, consensus-driven (polled), and smart (self-executing) electronic ledgers.
Blockchain technologies present the first feasible solutions to counterfeiting, security policies, identity management, auditing, real-time transacting, mobile and micropayments, scarcity management, monetizing intangibles, crowdsourcing, record keeping, and a host of other hitherto intractable bottlenecks in business and finance. Blockchain technologies seamlessly interface across private, consortium, and public networks.
The risks are as big as the promises and the rewards: from asset bubbles to money laundering, the financing of terrorism, cryptojacking, and threatening the foundations of the financial value chain. These threats are amplified by the recent introduction of exchange-traded bitcoin derivatives (options and futures), ETFs and mutual and hedge funds which invest in cryptoassets, and sovereign cryptocurrencies (e.g. in Russia, Sweden, Venezuela), thereby granting putative future access and price-setting privileges and power to financial institutions and commodifying the underlying assets.
The technology used by first generation cryptoassets is slow because transactions are processed serially and with a block size of 1 Mb. Blockchains are far slower than relational databases. Emerging solutions such as sharding, layering, and BaaS (Blockchain as a Service) may compromise the safety of the blockchain and render it hackable. QBit (quantum computing) with a block size of 2 Mb may be the solution. These risks are also attendant upon new approaches to coinage such as minting (instead of mining) and proof of stake (instead of proof of work with a target value).
Current software is also buggy. Ethereum, for example, lacks a decimal point (for self-executing scripts). Once blockchains become mainstream, centralized control is likely to render them more hackable. Regrettably, the technology is anarchically fragmented with not a hint of impending standardization.
The main concern, though, is the fact that cryptocurrencies, though they do store value as investment vehicles, failed to become accepted means of exchange. In the absence of this crucial function, they are bound to wither and then vanish in a speculative boom and bust.
One possible solution would be to link cryptoassets to crowdfunding as its main form of “money”. Cryptocurrencies are actually crowdsourced and the underlying blockchain technology would introduce rigorous fraud control beyond the current rather flimsy peer-review cum peer-pressure mechanisms in place in P2P financing.
These are chaotic confusing times and we are all baffled puzzled worried a trifle paranoid wary cautious self-isolating long before social distancing we all reach out and retreat approach avoidance because the world had become an enigma wrapped in a puzzle embedded in a mystery. We no longer feel at home.
I will try to introduce order and meaning into the world as it is today by studying the way the world had always been, the immutable patterns rules that govern it now and always had, for millennia.
For millennia, politicians had represented the interests of the elites: they managed the bureaucracies which were required to ensure the smooth running of polities and economies.
Then, starting with the French Revolution, as empires and monarchies crumbled in slow motion from 1918 well into the 1960s, the masses started to assert their power as they formed chaotic ochlocracies and executed hapless members of the erstwhile aristocracies.
Alarmed, the elites responded by introducing democracy and nation-states (nationalism): part sham and part an effort to structure surging mobs and control them.
It backfired. The great unwashed leveraged democracy and disintermediating, empowering technologies to stage populist coups and take over the levers of states and establishments.
All the philosophical systems and the religions of the world can be distilled into three options:
1. The psychotic school: magical thinking and misperceiving internal objects (such as “god”) as external;
2. The narcissistic school: entitlement, rights, obligations, and hubris, mistaking external objects and symbols (such as the “nation” or a love object) as internal; and
3. The schizoid school: withdrawing from the world and shunning reality altogether (“nothingness” and “authenticity”).
At any given period of history, one of these schools is on the ascendant and the other two are on the defensive. In our postmodern world, narcissism carried the day.
Transfer of wealth from poor to rich; suppression of free speech and human rights; emergence of IT-finance nexus
The pandemic has merely accelerated the decline of the USA and the rise of the historically dominant Eurasian landmass (Russia and its newfound ally, contiguous China).
Russia is providing weapons not only to Serbia, but to NATO allies like Turkey. It had cast itself as an important diplomatic force in the Middle East (not only in Syria, but even with Israel). It is now emerging as technological and scientific power both for good (vaccines) and bad (hacking).
China is now pivoting from a strictly economic superpower to a military one. It is purchasing critical infrastructure in Greece, Africa, and Latin America. Its soft power has surpassed the USA’s in terms of lending to sovereigns, online social media; payments, and retail; and propaganda. Its GDP is nearly the same as the USA’s and the EU’s.
Small countries cannot afford to surf the wrong geopolitical wave. they must strike a neutral stance between East and West, even if it means that they have to postpone geopolitical aspirations. Like the UK had done with Brexit, they should adopt the Swiss model and welcome everyone. They should redirect themselves and embrace industries which do not render the dependent on either superpower: services, green agriculture, medical tourism, offshore banking, coding and backoffice operations, etc.
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NEW CHANNEL Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTg79xJ1-pDFkg-aBe9KXLw
Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism Playlist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3RTSj7sW28ykk51HfHMNXQ
Boredom IS the Meaning of Authentic Life: direct contact with nothingness as a form of Being, as self-awareness (not to be confused with worthlessness).
Problem of Western civilization: intolerance of boredom and of nothingness (example: death).
Overstimulation=direct exposure to life --- leads to desensitization and ultimately to boredom via attunement.
Defenses are "meanings" of a Bad Faith Life: 1. Unconscious 2. Fantasy (incl. religion) 3. Mastery (action) 4. Diversion (entertainment).
We confuse these defenses with meaning but this leads to infinite regression nesting: meaning is dictated by others whose judgment is, in turn, determined by yet others ad infinitum.
When defenses fail, we are bored which is the only healthy state because:
1. It generates action or fantasy
2. Left untouched, inert, it brings enlightenment
We should seek boredom and aspire to it.
NEW CHANNEL Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTg79xJ1-pDFkg-aBe9KXLw
Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism Playlist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3RTSj7sW28ykk51HfHMNXQ
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Protect Yourself from Narcissism Virus as It Evades Your Immunity!
Narcissism Epidemic (Twenge-Campbell)
Naïve susceptible population
Wildtype, mutants, variants (isolates), and strains: standard model
Evading immunity by shapeshifting and cloaking via mimicry
Genetic drift and antigenic shift
Reinfection
Community transmission
Masking (education)
Social Distancing
Gather outdoors (boundaries, no secrecy)
Hand washing
Vaccination: deliberate exposure to specific traits and behaviors creates (1) antibodies (active measures) (2) memory cells but also (3) cells that attack infected cells (soul searching)
Herd immunity, selective immunological pressure
Envy, uncertainty, and rage globalized will lead to social unrest. The pandemic spells the end of entrepreneurship, small to medium businesses, and self-employment and the rise of the gig temp contractor economy. It also catalyzes the shift from the real economy to the trading in expectations.
World in Conflict and Transition
Nothingness is not about being a nobody and doing nothing.
It is about choosing to be human, not a lobster.
It is about putting firm boundaries between you and the world.
It is about choosing happiness - not dominance.
It is accomplishing from within, not from without.
It is about not letting others regulate your emotions, moods, and thinking.
It is about being an authentic YOU.
Islam, Narcissism, and Women are the future (Men are obsolete). Both history and the human reaction to it are constant: narcissism (delusional fantasy) as a defense against the disorientation of a rapidly shifting reality and one's own insignificance. The solution is radical acceptance. Oh, Men are doomed: the future is feminine.
Convo with Karoline Gil: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIu_jnLQHqo&feature=youtu.be
NEW CHANNEL Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTg79xJ1-pDFkg-aBe9KXLw
Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism Playlist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3RTSj7sW28ykk51HfHMNXQ
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hair, 4th International conference on Addiction Research and Therapy, October 2020
Narcissistic leadership often poses as a rebellion against the "old ways": against the hegemonic culture, the upper classes, the established religions, the superpowers, the corrupt order. Narcissistic movements are puerile, a reaction to narcissistic injuries inflicted upon a narcissistic (and rather psychopathic) toddler nation-state, or group, or upon the leader.
Minorities or "others" - often arbitrarily selected - constitute a perfect, easily identifiable, embodiment of all that is "wrong". They are accused of being old, of being eerily disembodied, cosmopolitan, a part of the establishment, of being "decadent". They are hated on religious and socio-economic grounds, or because of their race, sexual orientation, or origin. They are castigated as different, narcissistic (they feel and act as morally superior), they are everywhere, they are defenceless, they are credulous, they are adaptable (and thus can be co-opted to collaborate in their own destruction). They are the perfect hate figure, a foil. Narcissists thrive on hatred and pathological envy.
Narcissistic and Psychopathic leaders reify the pathologies of their culture and society.
They foster and propagate a personality cult and when things go sour, they turn on their followers and acolytes.
The narcissistic or psychopathic leader is the culmination and reification of his period, culture, and civilization. He is likely to rise to prominence in narcissistic societies. The leader’s mental health pathologies resonate with the anomies of his society and culture (“psychopathological resonance”.)
The leader and the led form a self-enhancing and self-reinforcing feedback loop, a dyad of mirrored adoration and reflected love. By elevating and idealizing their “Fuehrer”, the mob actually elevates and idealizes itself and the leader’s harnessed ochlocracy; in the “Duce’s” ascendance they find hope, in his manifest illness – curative solace and a legitimation of their own collective insanity. The dictator himself equates being elected – however patently unfairly – with being chosen by the transcendental forces of the gods and history. His is a manifest destiny, his exceptionalism - the nation’s own.
The leader’s personal-intimate life and persona may be utterly different to his political-public ones. It is an unsettling Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde effect. In private, the narcissistic-psychopathic leader may be avuncular, empathic, sentimental, helpful, dull, bourgeois, mediocre, middling, sickly, fussy, aloof, or friendly. But, he is at great pains to conceal these attributes from the public.
The narcissist's personality is so precariously balanced that he cannot tolerate even a hint of criticism and disagreement. Most narcissists are paranoid and suffer from ideas of reference (the delusion that they are being mocked or discussed when they are not). Thus, narcissists often regard themselves as "victims of persecution".
The narcissistic leader fosters and encourages a personality cult with all the hallmarks of an institutional religion: priesthood, rites, rituals, temples, worship, catechism, mythology. The leader is this religion's ascetic saint. He monastically denies himself earthly pleasures (or so he claims) in order to be able to dedicate himself fully to his calling.
The narcissistic leader is a monstrously inverted Jesus, sacrificing his life and denying himself so that his people - or humanity at large - should benefit. By surpassing and suppressing his humanity, the narcissistic leader became a distorted version of Nietzsche's "superman".
Many narcissistic and psychopathic leaders are the hostages of self-imposed rigid ideologies. They fancy themselves Platonic "philosopher-kings". Lacking empathy, they regard their subjects as a manufacturer does his raw materials, or as the abstracted collateral damage in vast historical processes (to prepare an omelet, one must break eggs, as their favorite saying goes).
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Technology and the democratic ideal led to the emergence of malignant, narcissistic forms of egalitarianism which threaten our survival as a species.
Original video posted here:
Compilation of one-liners about nothingness.
Compilation courtesy of Dorcas
NEW CHANNEL Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTg79xJ1-pDFkg-aBe9KXLw
Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism Playlist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3RTSj7sW28ykk51HfHMNXQ
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Introduction in Macedonian, rest in ENGLISH!
Sase Ivanovski of maktel.mk talks to Sam Vaknin about Judaism, the Holocaust, Islam, Hitler, Israel, the Palestinians, and many other issues.
Surf to https://www.instagram.com/p/CKEFsCwjRtK/ and swipe left: YouTube used to recommend each of my videos to MILLIONS of users.
Then I made the mistake of criticizing the way government mishandled COVID, Black Lives Matter, MeToo, fake “gurus”, “coaches”, and self-styled “experts” online, and the pernicious movement of the covert narcissists who call themselves “empaths”.
Thuggish psychopathic Facebook reacted by simply denying me access to my erstwhile Instagram account @vakninsamnarcissist and cutting off the dissemination of my posts on Facebook: no one sees them anymore.
YouTube is more like a passive-aggressive covert narcissist.
YouTube now no longer shows my videos in search results (search for “narcissism” to see what I mean).
YouTube is now not recommending my videos anymore except to users who have spent months watching other channels on narcissism.
As you can see, my latest video had been recommended to fewer than 93,000 users (compared to an average of 2 million historically).
Ironically, the number of subscribers to my channel has shot up from 85,000 to 135,000 and my CTR (Click Through Rate) has DOUBLED (in other words: twice as many users click on my videos on the rare occasions that they are recommended).
These platform are monopolies. They have severely undermined free speech and should be regulated, penalized, broken up. Their current egregious misconduct is a dictatorship (technocracy): the unelected and unqualified few, armed with dumb AI softwares, are muzzling, silencing, and throttling anyone who dares to call the truth as they see it or to not toe the party line to maximum profits. These enterprises are evil and a menace, end of story: they should be confronted and reformed or taken down.
They are treating all of us as adolescents – and we react to their mistreatment as though we were
One of the main functions of the shared fantasy is to project to the world a façade of normalcy and equally, to self-delude the narcissist that he is all but normal. The disintegration of the shared fantasy exposes the narcissist and others to the harsh reality: he is mentally ill and his family or firm are precariously balanced houses of cards.
As humanity is becoming increasingly more grandiose and entitled, puberty is extended well into one’s 20s (Twenge and Campbell). Boomerang kids live with their parents and continue their interminable “education” well into their 30s. Marriage, sex, and childbearing are distant memories. Even computers and the Internet reflect these trends: they nanny and discipline us (see my post about “nanny computing”). Not only do we all refuse to grow up and assume adult chores and responsibilities (Peter Pan Syndrome or Puer Aeternus), but we elect puerile leaders who cater to our pathological needs. Postmodern, post-industrial civilization is one gigantic shared fantasy and the pandemic has, therefore, led to global mortification.
We are reacting to this mortification as all adolescents do: we look for our missing parents. Some deny reality and try to continue with the old normal (“hoover” the various partners – individual and institutional - in our shattered shared fantasy). Others rebel against parental figures and become antisocial: defiant, impulsive, callous, and reckless. But the majority are cowed into unthinking submission, a type of conformity common to adolescents faced with a threat or with the unsavory outcomes of their misconduct.
Ubiquitous computing is becoming not only intrusive but also more condescending and patronizing by the version. I call it: “nanny computing”.
Underlying nanny softwares are the twin assumptions that people are way too stupid to be entrusted with their own welfare and so irrational that they never get things right, having compromised the decision-making process.
Nanny apps and programs override and overwrite the user’s explicit choices, preferences, and commands. This is reminiscent of HAL, the starship’s onboard computer in Odyssey 2001.
Nanny computing is only one manifestation of a societal trend at least 150 years old, when the first welfare nanny state was established by Bismarck.
People are infantilized and regressed to an earlier, dependent phase of personal development. One’s agency is usurped by authorities: religious, secular, or technological.
Social media are the latest examples of such “it is for your own good” coercion but they were preceded by numerous other instances, including prohibition and the criminalization of psychoactive substances. The COVID-19 pandemic cast this pernicious paternalism into sharp relief.
Uniformity, conformity, and predictability are crucial to the functioning of modern mass economies. Individualism is a threat to be constrained. Grandiose defiant narcissism is the revolt of the masses as they recoil from the deadening embrace of those who “know best what’s good for you, sonny!”
People are irrational. They often act without rhyme or reason, against their best interests, ignoring the consequences of their actions or inaction, and under a bewildering array of interacting internal and external stimuli too numerous or complex to identify or enumerate.
Overanalyzing is counterproductive. Most people are suggestible, aim to please and to conform, and prone to false memories. It behooves psychology to be way more humble and focus on dispensing good and tried advice on various life issues. It is as much a wannabe science as it is a form of glorified literature and should know its place.
The Japanese call it: mono no aware.
Weakness of character is indistinguishable from evil. Weak people cowardly sacrifice moral principles and values, are often highly suggestible, are eager to please and conform at any cost, and unthinkingly follow the mighty and the rich wherever they may lead them.
The main preoccupation of the weak is how to abrogate responsibilities and obligations and surrender their freedom of action and free will to strong men and institutions.
Weakness entails corruption, compromise, deception, and dependence as well as the ability to morph and shapeshift in order to fit in. The weak are amorphous and fuzzy, they cannot be trusted because they have no core or identity. They are easily swayed and end up committing the most appalling transgressions against themselves and others, even their nearest, dearest, and loved ones.
I perceive stupidity as intentional abandonment, a form of aggression.
Stupidity is threat when coupled with conspiracism or narcissism
I cannot accept reality that Mankind is divided to dumb and dumber. This inability is in itself profound stupidity.
How the Stupid Took Over the World
FULL TEXT http://samvak.tripod.com/blog.html
Why such drastic measures? Because Humanity is under imminent threat of being overrun by idiots, diluted by imbeciles, and submerged by a tidal wave of retardation. We often confuse technology with culture and civilization with progress. Nazi Germany is proof that such reflexive linkages are spurious. In truth, we have become Barbarians with iPads: we use the latest innovations to play Angry Birds and watch inane videos on YouTube and exchange trivialities on Facebook.
Traits are not desirable or undesirable in themselves. They are advantageous (adaptive) or detrimental, depending on the environment.
Why would women prefer men with an IQ lower than 120 to men with an IQ higher than 145? These are the results of a study published last year.
The answer is simple:
Our contemporary world is ruled by the feebleminded, dimwits are empowered by technology, and everything is dumbed down to foster mass consumption.
In such a world, lower intelligence is a positive adaptation which confers evolutionary advantages on its bearers - and on their spouses and offspring.
The Stupid, the Trivial, and the Frivolous are everywhere: among the working classes, of course, but increasingly you can find them displacing the erstwhile elites, spawning hordes of mindless politicians, idiot business tycoons, narcissistic media personalities, gullible clergy, vacuous celebrities, illiterate bestselling authors, athletes with far more brawn than brain, repetitious pop singers, less than mediocre bureaucrats, bovine gatekeepers, and even ignorant and semi-literate academics. Their cacophony drowns the few voices of wisdom, expertise, and experience and their sheer number overwhelms all systems of governance and all mechanisms of decision-making. Rather than futilely fight back this tsunami, the well-educated, the erudite, and the intelligent choose to withdraw and seclude themselves in self-constructed, schizoid ivory towers, all bridges drawn.
Imbeciles are a menace to the continued existence not only of our civilization, but also of our species. We may end up being all Homo, no sapiens.
The percentage of stupid people in the general populace may not have changed. It may even have decreased. But in terms of absolute numbers, there are more Stupid heads now than the entire human population only a century ago. Modern medicine makes sure that the retarded and plain dim-witted live on to a ripe old age. That we are faced with the daunting prospect of idiocracy is the fault of the malignant transformation of the democratic ideal and the recent onslaught of the media, both old and new.
NEW CHANNEL Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTg79xJ1-pDFkg-aBe9KXLw
Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism Playlist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3RTSj7sW28ykk51HfHMNXQ
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
SF=Shared Fantasy AND Science Fiction. From androids to actroids, affective computing to the Turing Test, uncanny valley to same-race bias, mimicry to symbiosis - learn how the narcissist dupes and lures you into his shared fantasy.
Pollyana defenses (naive, gullible, counterfactual): base rate fallacy (everyone is telling the truth most of the time), people are good.
Malignant optimism: exceptionalism ("he is not that bad"), savior complex ("I am going to save, fix, and heal him").
This is a universal delusion: we have no access to other minds, but we develop a theory of mind via mentalization, adhere to the intersubjectivity agreement, and pretend that empathy gets it right.
From "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited":
"Narcissists and psychopaths use cold empathy to fake the full-fledged kind and emotions.
The weaker variety of narcissist tries to emulate and simulate "emotions" – or, at least their expression, the external facet (affect). They mimic and replicate the intricate pantomime that they learn to associate with the existence of feelings. But there are no real emotions there, no emotional correlate.
This is empty affect, devoid of emotion. This being so, the narcissist quickly tires of it, becomes impassive and begins to produce inappropriate affect (e.g., he remains indifferent when grief is the normal reaction). The narcissist subjects his feigned emotions to his cognition. He "decides" that it is appropriate to feel so and so. His "emotions" are invariably the result of analysis, goal setting and planning.
He substitutes "remembering" for "sensing". He relegates his bodily sensations, feelings and emotions to a kind of a memory vault. The short and medium-term memory is exclusively used to store his reactions to his (actual and potential) Narcissistic Supply Sources.
He reacts only to such sources. The narcissist finds it hard to remember or recreate what he ostensibly - though ostentatiously - "felt" (even a short while back) towards a Narcissistic Supply Source once it has ceased to be one. In his attempts to recall his feelings, he draws a mental blank.
It is not that narcissists are incapable of expressing what we would tend to classify as "extreme emotional reactions". They mourn and grieve, rage and smile, excessively "love" and "care". But this is precisely what sets them apart: this rapid movement from one emotional extreme to another and the fact that they never occupy the emotional middle ground.
The narcissist is especially "emotional" when weaned off his drug of Narcissistic Supply. Breaking a habit is always difficult – especially one that defines (and generates) oneself. Getting rid of an addiction is doubly taxing. The narcissist misidentifies these crises with an emotional depth and his self-conviction is so immense, that he mostly succeeds to delude his environment, as well. But a narcissistic crisis (losing a Source of Narcissistic Supply, obtaining an alternative one, moving from one Narcissistic Pathological Space to another) – must never be confused with the real thing, which the narcissist never experiences: emotions.
Many narcissists have "emotional resonance tables". They use words as others use algebraic signs: with meticulousness, with caution, with the precision of the artisan. They sculpt in words the fine tuned reverberations of pain and love and fear. It is the mathematics of emotional grammar, the geometry of the syntax of passions. Devoid of all emotions, narcissists closely monitor people's reactions and adjust their verbal choices accordingly, until their vocabulary resembles that of their listeners. This is as close as narcissists get to empathy."
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Examples of Magical Thinking:
Narcissist: action at a distance, omnipresence
Borderline: object inconstancy, dissociation (undo, rewind), disinhibited lack of impulse control
Psychopath: omnipotence, control (via intimidation and disinhibited lack of impulse control)
Conspiracism
Additional Reading: Piaget, Bettelheim, Rozin, Nemeroff, Eugene Subbotsky
Buy most of my books in Amazon https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Sam Vaknin has a PhD in philosophy and Physics and is a Professor of Psychology in Southern Federal University in Rostov-on-Don in Russia and a Professor of Finance and Psychology in CIAPS. He served as economic advisor to governments and multinationals and founded the Healthcare Committee of the Ministry of Health of the Republic of Macedonia. Collaborated with IMF, WB, and WHO.
More about his work in psychology: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html
Sam Vaknin's resume/bio: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/cv.html
BOOKS and eBOOKS (Amazon Store): https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DF
Narcissist or Psychopath in your life? Subject to abuse, heartbreak, dysfunctional relationships, violence, intimidation, stalking, or harassment? This is the channel for you with insider info, evidence-based tips, and time-tested advice. Based on the bible of narcissism: "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin (now in its 10th edition.)