Rage is developed over time. Unlike anger, you can't fix rage. It resides at the core of your being and pops with no warning.
I realized I had rage when I was 17. I quickly saw myself sacrificing all of the talent and artistic creativity which I knew was in me. That day I promised myself that I would walk in the other direction whenever I find myself in a situation that threatens my future. Surprisingly, I lived by that rule until my late 30's at which I encountered events that had put my pride right up against that rule. I was now going to sacrifice it all and get even with them. It was midnight and my phone rings. I let the answering machine get it. I hear a message from someone which I've hated since age 6, and which I haven't heard from in 10 years. He was inviting me to his house for a BBQ with friends and family. Doesn't he know that I hate him, I thought. For some reason I started pondering the idea of forgiveness. I was surprised that from only the thought of it alone I felt some relief. That's how bad I wanted out of this. But, there's that pride again...keeping me stuck in the mud. Is that all I have to do? Forgive everyone and I get my life back?
The odd phone call at midnight (on a week night) felt like God (if there is one) challenging me. I thought for an hour and decided to do it -- to forgive these MF's that did me wrong.
During that time I had made this song "Damn the Ex" in less than an hour. The lead in the song was done in the first take. I don't know where it all came from...the rage was channeled into my music. Once again my music had me questioning things I were about to do. Sounds evil but I really liked the groove and intensity of the song. Need to keep making music. I apologize to all those I frighted with my rage (boss, coworkers...) and just moved on.
So please don't damn your Ex. When I was 6 years old my father murdered my mother. He spent the rest of his life in prison. I never saw him again. He was a very creative individual. He also struggled with rage. When I was young I hated him for what he did thinking that I could never do something like that. But as an adult, after going through the above situation, I could no longer hate him because I learned that there are people in this world who simply don't care, or get lost in their own emotions and they will push your buttons to the point where you become irrational.
If you got it, squash it, channel it, find a way to dismantle it. Put the gloves on, play this song at full volume yelling "that fucking bitch!!!", and go to work on that bag until you can no longer hold your arms up. And remember this: In this world, going to prison is easy. Staying out is the difficult part.
Find what you enjoy and do it to the point of not being able to imagine being without it. Use that to your advantage. That's what I've tried to do all my life while fighting the beast that resides at my center.
Thanks for reading/listening. Vocals are a little rough on this one.
Roland VS-1680
DR-660 (hand playing fills/crashes)
Guitar: PRS
