Vlog Post No.4 / The Cycle of Narcissism / Owning Yourself

When my aunt Nancy died I opened up my heart to my cousin, her first born daughter. We spoke on the phone. She wanted to go on and on about all the things her mother did to her. I told her I didn’t have the energy for it and I was having cortisol levels shoot up. “Can she speak to her own siblings?,” I asked her. She has three of them. Only one actually speaks to her, I think, but do not know for sure. There’s a reason why. SHE is a difficult person. While getting off the phone, I told her I loved her, and I supported her, and I can handle increments of conversation with her. I needed to go. My heart was racing. Twenty minutes had gone by. She was miffed I needed to hang up. She wanted me to keep listening to her, although I had just expressed my needs. “I can listen . . later. I’ve had enough right now.”
Historically she’s kept me on the phone for a minimum of one hour, and a maximum of three. I had allowed it. What did it get me? More
headache. It wasn’t her verbal condemnation of my past. No. It was the fact she assigned a motivation to my actions. She called me a sex worker, immoral, and now teeming with guilt. She then told me I had guilt over my past. She knows me better than I know myself is my best guess. Do you see how obvious a narc is? They project their shit onto you. I won’t even go to details about what I know about her. I was disgusted the first time.
Oh wait there’s more. Only a narcissist asks questions of you only to use the answers as ammunition against you later. Only a narcissist would act all innocent and get close to you only to use privileged information against you later. Enough is enough! I have had enough of her childlike mentality. I could not relive her childhood by listening to her story. I was honest. I spoke with a caIm voice.

Now this was all followed by such toxic text messages that she’s permanently blocked from my cell phone. I am leaving her in the darkness of her own shadows. I’m going towards the light. It is my sincere hope that someone can benefit from my videos. Narcissistic family patterns are a bitch.