1 Million Dollars; 110,000 yards of dirt; 0 Engineers

My pappy said "son you're gonna drive me to drinkin' if you don't stop drivin' that rocket powered Lincoln." The most impossible car stunt ever attempted. Even after the whole charade is over, they point out how the car fell 90mph short of its intended speed of 270mph, and oh yeah the wind was blowing, as the reasons for this result. I suppose the guy who put those wings on the car was the same guy who talked to the media.
The forces on the car were already breaking the car apart on the ramp. The modifications would have to be so great it wouldn't even be a Lincoln road car anymore. If the car had all its speed, and the chutes didn't deploy, and it had a tailwind, and he had his lucky bracelet, it'd be a matter of throwing the chassis ahead just a little bit further across the river than it actually went.