This video was difficult to make. I'm not used to opening up, and when I do I usually spill too much which makes me regret opening up in the first place.
But if I want to continue to be real and honest with you guys, I need to express some of …
This video was difficult to make. I'm not used to opening up, and when I do I usually spill too much which makes me regret opening up in the first place.
But if I want to continue to be real and honest with you guys, I need to express some of the things I have been going through. While I can't divulge everything now, just know 2022 hit me out of left field. The wake up call from nowhere.
I'm fighting through this, though. No need to worry about me. It's not my first time being trapped in the dark. Maybe one day I can tell you what happened. Right now I'm still too shell-shocked and embarrassed.
2023 is going to be even more difficult. Not so much emotionally and mentally, but it's going to take a lot of work to dig myself out of this. As I've expressed, I have a new job. As of writing this, I'm two weeks in and so far it is a healthier atmosphere. It's new territory, so I feel there's plenty of room to grow and experience new things. My plan is to utilize this to keep my mind off other things while I look for a second job in springtime.
While I debated on taking an extended hiatus from this channel to focus on getting my personal life in order, I feel I can do this. I feel what is mostly missing is the balance between work for finances and work that I do for fun. If I ever want to obtain that balance, now is the time to work through the kinks while my channel is still young. I'm sorry for the inconsistencies, the promises made for future videos that have not come about. I have not forgotten about them, but I have a tendency to run away with my imagination and not accept the amount of work involved in fulfilling those promises.
After the YA Addiction, I'll be taking a break from the essay videos as right now it's just too much to juggle. I'm hoping to return to monthlies in a couple of years, but for now I think I need to work on consistency, image, and maybe brand.
Up until now, the Unwanted Book Club has been for fun. While I intend to use next year to have more chill discussions instead of over-the-top rantings, I think a big part of me didn't want to take this too seriously. Maybe we shouldn't take writing so seriously. How can an artform be true art if it's expected to follow the rules? By the same law, how can art be distinguished from one another if it doesn't HAVE any rules? If there's no structure?
I thank you all for your patience and support as I'm going through this difficult time. I hope to be in a better spot by 2024, but I will not abandon this channel. I will work on biweekly in-person videos. If those stop for a min, just know I will be back. I will continue to fight through this.
All my love to my viewers- Nicole Renee
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BookUnwanted
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Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/100469443-the-unwanted-book-club
