Dear Jim i wrote you but you still ain't callin'
i left my cell, my website, and my homephone at the bottom.
i sent you 2 DM's back in autumn, you must nota got em.
there probably was a problem at the stream.me office or sumthin'.
sometimes i scribble links to sloppy when i jot em'.
But anyways, Fuckit, she's 14 gator, whats the bother?
My girlfriend's cucking me too, i'll never be a father.
But if i have a daughter guess what i'm gonna call her, imma name her Guntie.
i read about your paypigs too, i'm sorry.
i had a friend kill his stream over some gunt who didn't want em'.
I know you probably hear this every day, but i'm your biggest fan.
I wish i was as funny as you, but i eat too much ham.
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man, like the shit you did with Andy too, that shit was phat.
Anyways, i hope you get this man. Hit me back, just to chat. Truly yours, the fattest calf, this is Ralph.
Dear Jim, you still ain't called or wrote, i hope you have a chance, i ain't mad.
i just think its fucked up you don't answer fwends.
If you didn't wanna talk to me off stream, you didn't have to, but you could have given a shoutout for mass views. that's my internet career man, its only 2 years old.
we waited in the discord cold for you for 4 hours, and you just said no.
That's pretty shitty man, you're like my fucking idol.
i want to be just like you man, i like you more than you do.
i ain't mad though, i just don't give a fuck too.
remember when we met online? you said if i'd write you, you'd write me back?
see i'm just like you in a way, i never knew my father neither, he used to always kick me in the gunt and feeder.
i can relate to what you're saying on your streams, so when i have a shitty day, i drift away to drink and meme, cus i don't really got shit else to do, so that shit helps when i'm depressed, i even got a tattoo of Makers Mark across my chest.
Sometimes i even gunt myself to see my audience bleed, its like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me.
see everything you say is real and i respect you cus you tell it, my wife is jealous because i talk about you 24/7.
But she don't know you like i know you, Jim, no one does, she don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up, you gotta call me man, i'll be the greatest fwend you'd ever lose, sincerely yours, Ralph. P.S we should stream together too.
Dear mister i'm too good to call or write my fwends.
This will be the last package i ever send your ass! its been 6 months and still no word! i don't deserve it? i know you got my last 2 DM's i wrote the names on em' perfect!
this makes me pretty upset i'm telling you, i hope you hear it, i'm in a car right now, Andy's doing 90 on the freeway.
Hey Jim, we drank a fifth o' Vodka you dare me to drive?
You know that song by Phil Collins, "in the air of the night" about that guy who coulda' saved that other guy from drowning, but didn't?
Then Phil saw it all and at a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning! Now its too late, i'm on a 1000 xanax now i'm drowsy.
And all i wanted was a lousy DM or a call! i hope you know i ripped all your pictures off the wall!
I Love you Jim, we coulda been together, think about it, you ruined it now, i hope you can't sleep and you dream about it.
and when you dream i hope you can't sleep and you scream about it!
i hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me!
See Jim... SHUT UP BITCH I'M TRYING TO TALK, HEY JIM, THAT'S MY WIFE SCREAMING IN THE TRUNK!
But i didn't slit her throat. i just tied her up, see i ain't like you.
cus if she suffocates she'll suffer more and then she'll die too.
Well, gotta go, we're almost at the bridge now, oh shit, i forgot, how am i suppose to send this shit out?!
