Middle Eastern Invader - SOON YOU WILL KNOW, WHO I AM!!!

GET READY, GET A SWIVEL CHAIR. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED. WATCH FOR WHITE VAN'S WITH MEN FROM ANOTHER PLACE OR ANY MAN WEARING A BEARD. A TELLTALE SIGN BECAUSE ALL MARRIED MEN OF THAT PERSUASION HAVE TO WEAR THEM OR DIE, EXCOMMUNICATED.
A YEAR AND A AGO, MAYBE TWO, I HEARD THIS. I WAS DRIVING DOWN AN INTERSTATE. BAM, A NEW NICE WHITE VAN, NO WINDOWS. I POPPED UP UPON IT, A BLACK MAN WITH A BEARD. I GLARED AT HIM, IT WAS ABRUPT, HE FLOORED IT PROBABLY 90-100 MPH, TOOK THE NEXT HARD RIGHT. HIS FACE SAID TO ME, I SEE THAT YOU NOTICE ME.