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Hi Everyone Sandman Here,
This video is brought to you by a donation from Bogdan. He sent me a more than generous donation so this is the first of two videos I'll be covering for him. Today I want to read a comment posted on the men's rights forum by someone named Skaldish that now identifies as a male. And here's what they have to say and I quote: "I'm still bothered by the US cultural idea that men can only be non-romantically intimate with one another in war-like or or competitive circumstances. I'm pretty quiet about the fact that I'm a transman usually, but holy horse poop I need to tell you about the culture shock I'm going through because it's blindsiding me. There's a huge sense of of social isolation that comes with being perceived as male, because now people are subconsiously treating me as a potential predator. All strangers, no matter their gender, keep their guard up around me. It made me realize that there is no inherent camaraderie in male socialization as there is in the female socialization - unless, of course, it's in very specific environments. And the fact I don't ambiently experience this mutual kinship in basic exchanges anymore is an insanely lonely feeling. You know how badly this would have messed up my mind if I had grown up with this? It is 4:30am and I'm mourning the loss of a privilege I didn't even know I had. I'm going to figure out how to navigate this. Don't know how yet, but I'm gonna. This is something I would've never understood without living the experience. It's now blatantly clear to me that most cis men probably experience chronic emotional malnutrition. They're deprived of social connection just enough to seriously mess with their psyches, but not enough for them to realize that it's happening and what's causing it. It's like they're starving but don't know this because they've always been served 3 meals except those meals have never been big enough. In the case of women: When I'm on in public and interact with women, all of them come off as incredibly aloof, cold and mirthless. I have never experienced this before even though I know exactly what this composure is - the armor that keeps away creepy-ass men. As someone who used to wear it myself, I know this armor is 100% impersonal. Nobody likes wearing it, and I can say with absolute certainty that women would dump the armor in favor of unconditional companionship with men if doing this didn't run the risk of actual assault. I only have a complete understanding of this context because I've experience female socialization. If I hadn't, I would've thought this coldness was a conspiracy against me devised by roughly half the human population. Even now, with all that I know about navigating the world as a woman, I'm failing to convince my monkey-brain that this armor isn't social rejection. And as for
male socialization? Again, it seems taboo for a man to be platonic ally intimate with men for reasons I have yet to fully understand, but I think it boils down to number 1 the fact society teaches boys that it's not okay to be soft with each other, and number two garden-variety homophobia.
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