Why Livestream? (1-4-21)

External validation was my favorite drug. Until about the last few years, I suspect I often put more value on what other people thought of me than on what I thought of me.

As a child, I think I got most of my strokes for what I did rather than for who I was, so I developed a thirst for recognition and validation and I had a heckuva time getting off that performance wheel. Many people had many different experiences with my father, but my experience was that being around him made me feel inadequate and driven to prove my worth. I became so driven in fact that I drove myself into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome at age 21 and never fully got out of that mess.

https://lukeford.net/blog/?p=136247

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