the Nikki Haley Psychic Friends Network

Wicked Witch of the UN Nikki Haley claims that if anyone uses chemical weapons in the coming battle to retake Idlib, she knows it will have been Syrian president Bashar al-Assad. Where her newfound psychic abilities came from she has not explained, but rumor has it she was rejected from the Psychic Friends Network for advising too many callers to bomb Damascus &/or dedicate their lives to the Zio-Fascist Cause. Meanwhile, Assad just wants to run his country without interference from the US, the belligerently drunk fratboy of geopolitics, holding nations hostage with its ballistic incontinence as it looks for a spot of land to plop down a military base like a clutch of parasite eggs.