Drinking with Hamlet (poem)

Drinking with Hamlet
"To be or not to be"
Spoof soliloquy

-------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------
Drinking with Hamlet

To beer, or not to beer--that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The tonics and spritzers of outrageous boredom
Or to take beer against a sea of no-beers
And by drinking, drink 'em. To drink, too sober--
No more--and by a beer to say we end
The sobriety, and the thousand natural springwaters
That sober is heir to. 'Tis a libation
Devoutly to be pissed. To drink, too drunk--
Too drunked--perchance to snore: ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of drink what mornings may come
When we’ve an 'ead like ten bears,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long night.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of the morning after,
The Technicolour Yawn, the praying to a Porcelain God
The Wrath of Grapes, the carpenters in the forehead,
The high cost of low living, red-eyed and bushy-tongued
Crapulence. Polaxed, sossed, dawn damaged, tenderised,
Bottle-ached and as sick as a small hospital,
The Irish flu wearing loud shoes. Who would not beer,
And grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after beer,
The hangover country, from whose pains
No paracetamol will work, befuddles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than drink and drink until we know not of?
Thus consequence does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native thirst of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale ale of thought,
And enterprise of great pitcher and malt liquor
With regard to the barman, we turn away
And lose the name of action. -- Soft you now,
To be fair, my shout!
-- Beer, in thy froth
Be all my sins forgot.
----------------------------------------

“Abandon all hope ye who enter here.”

YOUTUBE
https://www.youtube.com/c/LaughingCynic
BITCHUTE
https://www.bitchute.com/channel/LaughingCynic